Tag: social media

Cyber Bullying, Death Threats, and Other Cyber Crimes

I was prompted to write this after filing a complaint with the FBI for death threats I received here on this very blog. You may not receive death threats, but surely you have encountered people who became less-than-civilized and abusive online. For most of us, I suspect that it really shocks us how somebody can get so upset over what may seem insignificant to us.

I guess I never realized how scandalous and heated the topics of my writing can be. Apparently this humorous article that I wrote last February really got somebody’s emotions all stirred up. I cannot say a lot about the details or post the comments yet, but perhaps I will in due time.

One thing I can say is that the abuser claimed that the article “didn’t spark my interest in the least”, which I know is a lie because they spent an hour and fifty three minutes writing and re-writing their comments. That sounds like more than a “spark”, but rather a raging inferno. So how in the heck can a simple article on writing good copy inspire so much anger that the reader threatens to kill me? I will allow your guesses in the comments for this blog post. No death threats, please!

Why do some people say things online that they would never say to your face? Do I have an answer for this, yes and no. I know a good share about the Internet. After all, I have earned my living based on providing Internet services for well over a decade. As CEO of one of the top wholesale providers of Internet access and Web hosting, I have just about seen it all. I am the guy people come to with a subpoena for server logs and other evidence to prove the crime or track the criminal. I have helped to put people in jail for child pornography, terroristic threats, fraud, and other crimes. I have worked with law enforcement on many occasions, and it has often given me a huge eye-opener to the human condition.

Perceived Anonymity

The psychology of perceived anonymity is strange. It shocks me, but it is pretty common that the abuser actually believes that they are anonymous. With this feeling of being anonymous, I suppose a bully really lets out what they are all about deep-down. They can really let their misery show when they think there is no price to pay for their anger and hate. In many instances where the crime is small, their identity is never researched and revealed, but of course this is not always the case.

Hateful Bullying

It seems that a lot of people do not consider how things they write may affect other people. Some people seem to enjoy causing hurt or frustration to others. I believe this is often the person who feels very insignificant and small. The only way they can be heard and get the attention they need is to be mean. I think we have all known a bully at some point in life. Maybe you knew him or her as a child on the playground. The sad thing for this tormented soul is that they never grew up, but you did.

Bullies often go overboard just to emphasize their frustration. I have witnessed many mean-spirited comments that are quite certainly overstated. I have a good friend who is a meteorologist. It seems the weatherman is easy to blame when the weather does not go as hoped. This guy gets all kinds of hateful complaints, and not for his work or his presentation, but for the weather. Yes, he gets angry complaints for the weather that “he caused”!

I have had hate mail, mean blog articles written about me, and more than a couple of harassing comments on social networking Websites. You can say that it is simply a matter of numbers, and that if you reach enough people there are surely some who will be mean. It is true that the more people you reach, the more you will find hate. However, as social media use is more widely adopted, it is much easier to spread that hate to an even larger number of people.

Put Out Their Fire

If you encounter bullying, I ask that you remember what it is the bully seeks. They often want attention. If you give it to them, you allow them to bolster their pride to carry on. If you ignore them and snuff out their flame, you will often save yourself and those around you a lot of negativity.

Negativity spreads quickly. Consider this in how you interact with others online.

When it goes too far and it becomes criminal, it is time to contact The Internet Crime Complaint Center, your local FBI office, or other authority of proper jurisdiction.

Are You Ashamed of the Social Media Company You Keep?

Haven’t we all had a gawky friend or bizarre “Aunt Nancy” type whom we are nice to but that we kind of keep to ourselves? I think so, and I will be the first to admit it. When it comes to social media, I have found myself cringing at the thought of some people posting something awkward and out of place on my Facebook Wall or letting the public see that I have responded to something that may seem strange to some people.

What do you do about these folks? I will not say that you should go way out of bounds and get racy or scandalous in your social media space, but let’s face it: somebody likes them! Even if they seem a bit off key and you kind of wonder how it may make you look to associate with them, the fact remains that if you like them, they are just another part of your life’s tapestry. Who doesn’t know an Amway representative? I do, and one who comes to mind is a super nice guy named Rick Wright. I met him as a client when my company developed a Website for his auto dealership. Sure, I give him all kinds of grief about his “Amway Gospel”, but I like him, and I like his family. I also know a guy who puts an aluminum foil hat on and talks about all kinds of strange stuff in his Webcast. He is about as odd as a marshmallow on a turkey sandwich and often as offensive as a fart in a steam shower, but he is a very intelligent guy and sometimes talks about some interesting topics. Strangely, he also has a large and loyal following of viewers and participants of his chat.

Being yourself in social media and being responsible for only you is what matters here. It is largely accepted that we are judged by the company we keep, but on the social networking stage, the rules are different. Social media will introduce you to all kinds of people, and you may find a few with a strange attraction. Heck, there is me … the know-it-all who fears nothing, has a broken inner dialog, and keeps on promoting his all-knowing books (Twitter for Business: Twitter for Friends and Living in the Storm). You still seem to find it in your heart to keep me out of your shadows. What other interesting characters make you laugh or provide an interesting point of view? Share them with the rest of us here in the comments.

Create Something Different: Create a Cheering Section

“Create something different” were the words that came to me when I thought to myself “I should really update my blog today.” Then I started to wonder if every great idea that could ever be written about social media has already been written somewhere on a blog.

I unsubscribed from a lot of blogs today, because so many of them just started to look the same. I started to question how many blog posts about the iPhone the world really needs. Whenever there is a hot new craze or breaking news article, bloggers rush to their keyboards and bang out another “brilliant” article hoping that theirs will be the one that becomes a real hit. If they get it retweeted, Stumbled, and dugg enough to reach the front page of Digg, their job is complete. They grew their audience massively, but too many will overlook the question of whether the audience will stick with them.

When I unsubscribed from some pretty good blogs, I realized that I was simply not the fan they needed. They had never created that spark in me that made me a loyal enough fan to be sure I always saw every word they wrote. It was kind of the same old thing just regurgitated in a different way. What was missing was not just creativity, but rather a connection. The ones I felt connected with and that made me feel a part of the relationship remain on my list, and I am their fan.

A Flash in the Pan Mentality

It is easy to take a flash in the pan mentality and see that little glimmer of gold in your prospecting pan when something you do becomes popular. I do not have a problem with that, at all, but I think that it can be too easy to forget the importance of a core cheering section. Creating your cheering section of people who cheer you on, take the initiative to comment on your blog, click to receive your updates by RSS, Twitter, email, or any of the many other methods, and will stick with you over time is far more important. This is your cheering section!

A strong cheering section has been a basis for success from the very beginning. I mean everybody’s success, and everybody’s beginning. From the time a child first attempts to ride a bicycle, it is their core cheering section that helps them to keep trying until they get it right. In the instance of blogging, it is really not so different. It only takes a small number of really loyal friends/fans to create a massive cheering section that keeps you moving forward.

Creating a cheering section has been a huge message in my work as a writer for a long time. In my last two books, I wrote of the importance of relationships. I must really believe it, or otherwise I would stop writing about it. Here is a snippet from each:

From my book, “Twitter for Business: Twitter for Friends” in a chapter titled “Social Networking Takes Dedication” I wrote: “The people mentioned here and many more are among the very important relations I have met using social networking. I communicate with these people regularly online, on the telephone, and in person. They are all parts of a very important network of people whom I can count on to be friends and to have something nice to say about me, with or without prompting.”

These are the people who will spread your work to others and expand your cheering section. They should not be overlooked!

In my new book, “Living in the Storm” I expanded a lot on the importance of that cheering section, and how to create good will in others. Here is a paragraph from the book: “There are many unknown aspirations of those around you. Knowing the motivations of others and finding out how you can help is a great way to rally them. It will make you feel good to do it. It will also often prompt people to wonder about your goals. They may or may not already know what you want in life. Share these things with friends, and build a support network. The best way to begin is by giving to others and becoming one of those altruistic people you admire. Even if you are already doing it, do it more.”

If you wonder how this may apply to social media and blogging, it is simple. Listen to your readers and know what they want. Respond to them, interact with them, and give them what they want. Once you develop your core cheering section, they will often give you what you seek in return. Yes, it is true, giving is the best step toward receiving. I hope that I am able to give you what you want, and a whole lot of it!

Social Media Altruism: It is better than you think!

If you ever thought there was somebody truly, and I mean 100 percent, genuine altruistic, you were wrong. There, I said it … I called you wrong, and I will not say that I am sorry, but I will explain.

Let’s take a close look at this: Even the greatest of givers have something to gain. You can call it altruism, but there will always be something received in return. You may cite Mother Theresa, Gandhi, or your dear grandmother. Yes, they are kind and they often do things that seem very self-sacrificing. Whether they know it on a conscious level or not, people do nice things for others because it feels good. For some people it is simply a reflex, and for others it may take a little more work. You may call it unselfish, but if it did not feel good to them, if it did not feel right, they would not do the things they do.

The Cynical Approach

I encounter cynics every day … we all do. We let them in, and we let them steal our energy. You cannot help it, regardless how hard you try. When you receive negativity, it becomes a part of you.

In contrast to the kindness described above, many people take an opposite approach … in fact, most people take an opposite approach. Again, often subconscious, but very real all the same. How many times have you heard a parent, a friend, or even a spouse say, “I am just telling you this for your own good” or “I just don’t want to see you let down.” I have heard that from people who indeed care about me, but I always realized that there is also a darker side. It may seem like a huge kindness to protect you from your own bad judgment, but how many times have people failed as a result of that one tipping point of doubt. This is even more true if you hear it from somebody you trust … somebody that you know cares about you.

Is it selfish? Too often the answer is “Yes”,  very selfish and bred from jealousy. After all, if you do something that they can not even imagine doing, how might it feel to them? Similar to the often unconsciously selfish acts of kindness, there are many unconscious acts of unkindness. You can like it or not, but that is the way it is. Most of us have probably heard this, but have you really thought about it? Have you thought about whether you do this? Have you thought about others’ hopes, dreams, goals? Have you tried to help?

Try Some Altruism

I hope that you will think about this, and try to encourage a friend, or even a complete stranger. I am going to do that now. If you do not know somebody whom you wish to encourage, send a message to one of these people to encourage them.

Amy Walker: This is a friend who recently lost her job. At first, it was a real shock. It is still hard for her to believe. However, she found a renewed interest in painting. She is a great painter, and a very kind person. If she has the right encouragement, I believe that she can create a new income selling her artwork. Click here to send Amy some encouragement. You may also want to ask her to see some of her paintings!

Michael Colemire: I have known Michael as a t-shirt screen printing provider, but he recently shocked me. This guy has an amazing talent at carving. During my regular Friday Webcast, we started talking about hidden talents around us, and he showed us his hobby. He was met with a unanimous belief from the audience that he should take his hobby to market. His woodcarvings are really spectacular.  Click here to send a nice message to Michael. You may also want to ask him to see some of his carvings!

Eugene Aronsky: If you know a student returning to college soon, you should meet this guy! I met Eugene on Twitter and I have found him to be a great inspiration and a wealth of knowledge about books. He founded a company called We Compare Books, and his goal is to help college students to afford textbooks. He built the company out of a passion he gained as he was a student seeking affordable buys on textbooks. His Website compares prices for textbooks and offers a great comparison shopping resource. Click here to meet Eugene.

Richard Reed: I know this man as “Ritchie” from back in elementary school. He moved away when we were kids, but social media brought us back together and we recently spent nine hours at my home talking about then, now, and the future. I really respect and like my old friend “Richie”. Aside from his day job, he has created a captivating collection of high-definition videos from places he has visited. I want to encourage him to continue his passion and promote them for sale to film makers. See what I am talking about and if you agree, send my old friend Richie a compliment.

What Will You do?

So there you have it. This is what I believe. I hope you will take some time, right now, to think about how even a small act of kindness can change people’s lives. Especially yours! When you are kind to others, it can build a reflex. It can become natural to spread a kind word. When that happens, the good feelings you have about yourself can be shocking!

Please Share Your Comments!

I want to hear your thoughts. Please take a moment to comment here on the blog!

So You Know Everything About Twitter, Right?

I have been honored to be in the presence of many amazing Twitter users who know how to keep up with the massive data flow. They know how to keep up with advanced Twitter searches so they always know what is happening in the world, or even just in their neighborhood. They know how to create groups that allow them to keep a close watch on everything their friends have to say on Twitter. They even know how to reach out and meet people like them, and to gain introductions to other people they will enjoy knowing. They know the principles I explained in the video below, talking about how and why relationship building is important. I have been honored to meet many of these people, and I enjoy their friendship.

Wouldn’t It Be Great if Everybody Knew What You Know?

I love communicating with my friends all around the world. We have shared amazing times together. We often share a lot of interesting information, personal stories, happy times, and we are the people who count on each other when we need a pick-me-up or some help to reach the right people. Some of us help with each others’ business pursuits, and some of us open our hearts to share our life’s story. All together, it makes an amazing mix of people … each learning from the mixing pot of Twitter and social media. My amazement of social media still leaves me with the question: “Wouldn’t it be great if everybody knew what you know?”

It is often really challenging to try and help people … especially with trying to help them learn something new. After all, if you try to teach them something, it is sometimes the case that they will take you as the “know it all” or they may just have a really hard time accepting the idea that “You will never know how much you don’t know.”

Do You Know Somebody Who Does Not Know Everything?

I will raise my hand first. I certainly do not know everything. I do, however, know a lot about social media, and I know a lot about Twitter. I spent hundreds of hours and months of my life to author a book about it!

I am seeking your help to find other people, like me, who do not know everything. I am particularly looking for people who do not know everything about Twitter, and people who may benefit from a guide book with a lot of lessons on how Twitter and social media can be more beneficial through understanding it better.

If you are willing to help me find these people, please click here to read a few ways to help. This will not cost you any money, and it could help you in return. I sincerely appreciate you!

In case you have not read my blogs or my new book, click here to see what others have said.

Enjoy my comedy video and I hope you will get a great smile from it!