It has been a long five year break from this blog.
In the five years since my most recent post here (in 2012), I have learned a lot, and I have a lot to share. I also see that I have a lot of sprucing up to do. This old blog is a mess. The code is ancient, the design is a throwback, and it is about as mobile friendly as a dunk in the toilet. I will get to it soon.
While I was away, I have owned and operated the most charming bakery I ever imagined. I was fortunate to find many of you, dear readers from all over the world, walking through the door for a fantastic cup of coffee, an amazing pastry, and a fun chat. I thank you kindly for that patronage.
While I enjoyed the endeavors of these past five years very much, I have freed my body from those 90 hours per week on my feet in the bakery in exchange for a leisurely 90 hours per week on my rump at a computer.
For everybody I have missed, I have some awesome tales to tell about how social media meets brick and mortar. I look forward to catching up.
If you’ll still have me, this could be like one of those sweet movie scenes where they reconnect and have a great moment.
Social media should be an invaluable asset to a job seeker. At least that is the case if what we read is true. There are many stories of people landing a dream job with little more than a tweet on Twitter. Others will say it was their really great connections on LinkedIn, or friends who helped them spread their word on Facebook.
We’ve all surely heard that recruiters rely heavily on the use of social media for filling positions. It’s why we take down all of the party pics on Facebook, and stop beating our chest about politics or religion on Twitter. Those recruiters are watching. Right?
According to some people, recruiters and hiring managers are filling their quotas with the use of what they call “social recruiting”, but is it actually the way they’re telling it? Is social recruiting really the way jobs are being filled? I know what they’re saying, but I see something very different in what they’re actually doing.
As I see it, there are three very useful functions of social media for recruiters, as it applies to job candidates. I question how recruiters view each of these, and I have tried to identify which functions are considered important to them – if any. If you are a recruiter, please share your insight with other readers. In my estimation, the best social media assets for recruiters are as follows:
Networking/discovery of candidates
Candidate research
Communications with candidates
Many people will claim that social media is highly important to recruiters, but I think we should test this theory in the real world. Actually, I already have done a bit of testing, and I have some good reasons to question the importance they place on each of these three facets I’ve listed. I will share what I have found.
First, for job seekers, I want to point out that the “old fashioned” job seeking methods are still very important. I will explain this by sharing my experience, and I really believe it should not go overlooked.
“Old Fashioned” Job Hunting is Still Important!
My search started out really exciting, but a little bit “old fashioned”. Even as a person who has written more than a million words about social media, including a book, my first efforts were the old fashioned way, combined with the use of social media.
It was a calculated effort. I carefully considered companies where I would love to work, and I did my research on them. I connected with employees, asked questions, learned about the company culture, and developed a good picture of the company and their needs.
I defined their expectations, and I formulated my approach. I wrote out a brilliant résumé and some amazing cover letters. I built my case by explaining all the great reasons I would be an asset, and also how much I would enjoy being a part of their organizations.
I sent my letters to the people in charge at the companies I had so greatly admired. I even sent them by FedEx to be sure the right people received them. That should work, right? It should at least help.
Recruiters and Social Media Candidate Research
Where I imagined the social media would be most important to these chosen companies was in the area of candidate research. If the human resources department and hiring managers were going to use social media as a hiring tool, they would find out a lot of great things about me.
In fact, if they gave social media much weight at all, I would surely stand out. My reputation is squeaky clean, people say nice things about me, and I’m even pretty popular by most standards. I have a ginormous blog readership (and no, I’m not calling you “husky”). Google search results for my name paint a picture of a successful executive – and not an ax murderer. I have over 25,000 followers on Twitter, a solid Klout score, and I look good by all of those other superficial measures that some people think matter. To top it off, about the most incriminating photo of me on Facebook is when I was caught wrapped in a pastel blanket and napping on the sofa snuggled up beside one of my children.
Incriminating Image of Murnahan on Facebook - Yes, He Sleeps!
If social media was actually a significant factor to these recruiters, I should be a shoe-in.
Oh, but it is not so simple. I followed up on my efforts with telephone calls and letters. I refrained from belching, cursing, or any of the other big deal breakers. I subsequently discovered there are many reasons for not landing a particular job – or even getting an interview. There is a lot of competition.
Timing is also very important in a job hunt. Many companies will advertise that they are hiring for a given position, but that is often long before the position is actually to be filled. Some of them have already made their choice for a candidate and plan to hire from within, but they still go through the motions of seeing what else is out there. The list of challenges can get long.
There must be a good way to reach those recruiters at the right company and at the right time … right? After all, what about those amazing stories you hear about people getting jobs by way of social media?
I will share some example communications with recruiters by way of social media. This covers the rest of those three areas where I believe social media can be most valuable to recruiters – Networking/discovery of candidates, and communications with candidates.
Recruiters and Social Media Candidate Networking, Discovery, and Communications
I’ll offer just a couple of many examples I have seen. I intend for this to be constructive for the human resources/recruiting industry, and job seekers alike. I have heard things very similar to these examples from peers, and witnessed many other instances while watching companies closely. These are just two recent observations from my own personal search for the right company. I have every reason to believe that these are not just isolated incidents.
Please Note I do not wish to bash any particular company, so I’ve blurred their identities. I am only sharing observations and trying to open discussions as a person who has been deeply involved in social media since long before we even called it social media, and very successful in business – online and offline. I invite you to share your perspective and discount what I have to say here. I am still ready to listen and to learn.
I will begin with an instance of a thriving company that approached me on Twitter. I want to note that they approached me publicly, and based on my research, nobody else before or since. Here is what they had to say:
Are You Interested, Murnahan?
It seems they may have been interested, so I responded on Twitter within minutes and followed up with my resume and cover letter the next morning – March 7th. I never heard anything back from them by way of Twitter or email, so I followed up by email and Twitter on March 16th – ten days after their initial communication. I still never heard anything – but is this an isolated incident? Absolutely not!
Here is another instance where I have made significant efforts at communication with a company that is in the business of recruiting. They are seeking a VP of Marketing for their own company, and I have applied. I reached out by email, LinkedIn, Twitter, and comments on their blog. I have followed up very thoughtfully, and given them reasons to recall my name. I am not offended in the least if they are not interested, but I have done my part to show my qualifications, and given good reasons and opportunities to communicate.
Beep beep! Here comes a convoy of irony for you.
In a recent article on their blog, they suggested ways for people to use social media in their career search. There is about three truckloads of irony in that blog. Their company has a relatively anti-social social media presence, and frequently fails to respond to their audience at all – I’ve been watching. In fact in that very blog article, they were the only user to tweet it in the first day it was published, and I was one of only two people to comment on it.
My comment has still never received a response, and if you only have two comments on a blog, responding to them is Social Media 101 – the most basic. The writer has accepted my connection request on LinkedIn, but she stopped short of actually responding to my friendly email greeting – so she is just another blank space … a name and a picture. When I went to the writer’s Google+ profile, there was nothing to see, because she had not shared a single item publicly – only to her own Google+ “circles” and “extended circles”. She had not even made the articles she had written on the company blog visible to the public. To me, this seems to indicate a need for some training.
Look, I don’t expect anybody to hang on every word I say, but I believe that if I shared all of my communication attempts with this company, you may think they are nuts to not follow up with me. It would seem they should at least to keep me impressed with their company, because who knows – I may know a person or two. I’m trying my best to be unbiased, and I can legitimately say that this company is missing the big picture.
Incidentally, I was fortunate to have a few words on Twitter with the CEO / hiring manager for that VP position. I would describe this individual as a “Grand Poobah” of the recruiting industry, but yet, I would not call this person, or the company, an earnest user of social media. Here’s how it went:
Communications With a Grand-Poobah of Recruiters
I followed up on this short communication with email on the following Monday. Then, after a ten day pause of complete silence from the Grand Poobah – and I mean the Poobah has not even sent a single tweet to anybody (publicly at least), I decided to check for a pulse and I sent this message on Twitter, and also another follow up email.
Are You Still There, Grand Poobah?
I Respect Recruiters
I respect recruiters – I really do, because I know it is a tough job to find the right people. I have been a CEO, so I know the challenges well. At the same time, I have my doubts about the weight recruiters place on the use of social media, and whether it is really as important as many people will say.
I recently read a study that claims recruiters only spend an average of six seconds per résumé as they scan through squillions of them. Unemployment is high, so there are a lot of people applying. It makes me wonder if recruiters ever really feel a need to look very carefully to fill a position. It also makes me wonder if they even have enough time to make a good assessment of an applicant’s qualifications – or disqualifications – based on social media.
That knocks a pretty big hole in the list of three things I estimated to be the most important uses of social media for recruiters.
With these examples in mind, and my assurance that I have a big stockpile of further examples, I want you to be the judge. If you are a recruiter, I want to hear your take on this. If you are a job seeker, I want to hear from you, too. Please add your comments and pass this along so others can share their insights.
Job seekers: Please feel free to give yourself a plug, and include a link to your résumé.
As a final note, I’m still looking, and I will relocate to anywhere in the USA for the right company. If you’re looking for me, too, please take a moment to get to know more about me and review my résumé.
Who is vetting this Internet and deleting all the misinformation?
Yes, that is a nice idea, but let’s face it – there is a lot of information online, and it cannot all be true. Let’s consider how false information is often deemed true, true information is deemed false, and how people decide for themselves what is “true” or “false”.
Like it or not, the things people believe are often based on what they want to believe – and what others around them believe. We are each influenced very uniquely, and whether marketing an agenda or defending ourselves, it is important to recognize those influences.
Facts are commonly disregarded, in favor of more subjective means of decision making such as societal perception and emotion. Allow me to give you examples.
I recently read an article produced by ABC News about “Pink Slime” being added to ground beef products. It has been in the news a lot, recently. What they call “Pink Slime” is made up of scraps of meat that would be otherwise wasted, but instead are finely ground and processed to be mixed with other ground beef. The beef industry calls it “Lean, Finely Textured Beef” or “LFTB”. It has been used for over 20 years in America’s food supply, but news agencies recently uncovered a great opportunity to make a sensational story.
Questioning Pink Slime and Industry Agendas
Maybe Pink Slime is horrible stuff, and maybe it is not. That’s not the point I am after. Regardless of whether it is good or bad, it brought up some thoughts about people’s system of beliefs and reactions to things they read. On either side of the topic, there are people who will strongly believe in their viewpoint, but the side that many people will believe is the one which creates the stronger emotional draw.
The article was produced by a large news agency, and pretended to be journalistic, but there was a strong slant against the use of beef additives. As I read through the comments, it was obvious how it influenced others. In fact, there were only a few who questioned the source reliability and bias. It emphasized how people react to fact or fiction based on emotion, and in this case the emotion was influenced by presentation.
When something affects people emotionally, and they can personally identify with the topic, they are far more likely to find something believable. If they have a connection of trust with the source, it becomes even more believable. For example, I could probably write a convincing story about green pixie dust, and it would seem a lot more “true” to long-time readers and friends than to people who do not know, like, or respect me. It would be even more believable if I created an emotional attachment and led people to believe there is something important at stake for them.
The topic of Pink Slime has a lot of people up in arms, demanding tighter government regulation of “Lean, Finely Textured Beef”. The comments on the ABC News article expressed anger toward the evil companies using it, and the evil government that had surely been paid off to allow its use. I was a bit surprised nobody claimed it had killed their pet unicorn or had spawned a new sub-species of humans that can only eat through a straw.
The readers responded very emotionally, but only a few pointed out unbiased and unemotional facts about pink slime. That ability to move people away from facts or toward the facts to support a particular viewpoint is how marketing works at its best – and its worst.
In another article on Discovery.com, the concerns of Pink Slime were addressed quite differently – based on the “Ick Factor”. Here is a quote from the article titled “PINK SLIME: PSYCHOLOGY OF THE ICK FACTOR“.
The real problem with pink slime is the “Ick Factor” — it looks and sounds gross.
Part of the psychology behind the Ick Factor is labeling. The language we use when we identify things influences how we interpret them. We can call an old car “used” or “pre-owned;” we can call civilians killed in wartime “men, women, and children” or “regrettable collateral damage.” And we can call processed beef parts “pink slime” or we can call it “boneless lean beef trimmings.”
The article also considered Jell-O, but it seems far fewer people complain about gelatin products. I will give you another quote to consider.
And let’s not forget Jell-O brand gelatin, a favorite dessert since 1897. You can call it Jell-O, or you can call it flavored and colored powdered cow bones, cartilage, and intestines.
The beef industry may point out that meat prices will skyrocket without pink slime. Maybe it is true. Maybe this USDA regulated meat product is safe and nutritious. Maybe it is not. What we can be certain of is that there are multiple agendas involved in its discussion, and the facts will “bend” based on who is presenting them, how they are presented, and to whom.
Once something of this emotionally-charged level of interest is presented, society and its inherent emotion-based process will prevail – one way or the other, and for better or worse.
Do You Ever Question Politics? Let’s Have Some Fun!
Another very easy way to explore this type of emotional “fact-checking” (gut checking) is to look at politics. It is a presidential election year in USA, so politics is on a lot of minds. Let’s consider how we make things feel more believable and “true” based on personal experience, influence from the people around us, and emotional attachments. Make no mistakes about this, because none of us are fully immune.
Many people identify with a given political party based on how they were raised, where they work, where they live, or other societal input. It is very unreliable, but most people have a hard time accepting that they may be getting the wrong story – or at least a story very tainted with emotion.
With regard to politics, once people choose their political party, they will often remain influenced by that group and will base their views on the group’s influence.
Let’s have some fun examining the two popular political parties in America, and how people of one political party may view the other. Let’s also consider how rigid people are in their beliefs and unlikely – or even incapable – to acknowledge varying viewpoints with flexibility and fairness.
Democrats Defined:
Tree-hugging fanatics who hate companies, love abortion, don’t work or work very little, and complain about economy but think the government economy-fairy should keep producing more money. Democrats commonly believe that if the government grows large enough, it will protect us from ourselves, and we can all have public-sector jobs while we let pixies, gnomes, unicorns, and other fantasy taxpayers produce the tax dollars needed to cover our salaries. Democrats are generally poor, because earning money is considered evil and corrupt. They have too many children, and they only vote when republicans are trying to take away their free government cheese. Democrats are likely to be seen protesting against the organization that writes their paycheck (unless it’s the government). They love to protest things whenever they are not busy cleaning up an environmental disaster and wiping the crude oil from little a kitten’s eyes after some idiot republicans decided to drill for oil instead of thinking globally and buying it from those nations we should work harder to get along with. A hug is always the best answer to political or religious unrest, and our enemies would stop plotting to attack America if we just gave more hugs. Oh, and let’s not forget that most democrats are either gay, bisexual, or have some sort of sexual perversion.
Republicans Defined:
Wealthy religious zealots who think women should make babies and stay in the kitchen. They despise the working class, unless it is to manufacture weapons or go fight in the latest war. They pray before they make any policy decisions, and if they pray extra hard, God will make them wealthy enough to control more industries, and countries. They are generally rich, rude, self-centered, and want to control the universe while making slaves of democrats. Republicans enjoy destroying our planet and are likely to be seen driving a Hummer while eating an endangered spotted owl sandwich on their way to the whale hunting expedition where they will crash into an oil tanker and set a glacier on fire, thus producing more global warming and sea level rise. Then they can enslave more democrats to clean it up … they always have a sneaky agenda like that. In fact, it is undoubtedly republicans who came up with the idea for Pink Slime – probably as a way to sneak brain-numbing drugs into our food supply and make us agree with whatever they say. They lie, too … almost always. Regarding their sexuality, it is amazing there are still any republicans left, because according to them, sex is taboo. If they do have sex, there will surely be another republican voter on the way, because they don’t believe in birth control.
I know you nodded your head or identified with something in those stereotypes. I hope you did not identify too perfectly either way, but I’m trying to make a point.
The point is that people think in packs. It is generally true that people make decisions about what they accept as fact, based on the people around them, combined with their own experiences, and their own desire to believe it. The presentation is critical, both in how it is presented and to whom.
Getting these principles right can create a lot of great business opportunities, but I must caution you to be very careful, too. The knife cuts in both directions. If you are falling prey to the emotional pull of the Internet’s popular notions of getting rich quick and easy with low efforts, it’s time to get a checkup from the neck up. That idea is popular and has a lot of emotional draw, but does it really settle right with you?
I guess you could say I am a bit of a whistle-blower about bad information online. I have explained the common SEO lies and publicly called out social media frauds. I try to encourage critical thinking, but perhaps understanding what leads people to believe something that is otherwise irrational or unbelievable is the best way to keep you safe from misinformation.
Now, please consider how believable something can become if you really want to believe it, and if others around you believe it, too. Then, perhaps the next time somebody tries to sell you their new variety of success in a box or easy-money green pixie dust, you will better understand how they make it so appealing.
Go ahead and tell me what you think about Pink Slime, democrats, republicans, marketing, or whatever this brings to mind for you.
Postscript:
I want to add a timely personal and professional observation.
Even in my present seemingly fact-based search for a new company to work for, these factors I pointed out here play a huge role with both parties. While I search for the perfect company with all the right “facts”, something that means even more is that I will fit well with the team and feel good about my work.
Wise companies understand this, and when they look at my résumé, it is merely a guideline. While my background is in operating and providing consulting services to successful businesses for over twenty years, my decision making comes from understanding people, business, where they intersect, and how the pieces all work together. My salary requirements depend on who I like, and their salary offerings will depend on their like and belief of my ideology, personality, and my specific fit with their people, and their business agenda.
This does not fit into a single sales pitch, and neither do many of the decisions the public will make about your brand, or your products.
These intricacies of people are what creates success at every scale of a business. That is why I expect the right company to invite me for an interview to learn more before making me an offer. Otherwise, they would just blindly email me the job offer based on simple facts. I’m not counting on that, and I don’t believe you should, either.
Build your brand, know who you are addressing, and give them the facts – but never neglect how the real decision making unfolds across a group, and how that group is influenced.
My grandmother is intelligent. She can grasp a complex concept if you communicate it nicely. If you insult her intelligence, she may turn into a vicious ninja.
My grandmother will turn 95 years old in a few weeks. In honor of my dear Grandma and other real-world people like her, I’m here to deliver a valuable reminder about effective marketing communications.
Let’s consider Grandma for a moment, and imagine how she communicates. She talks like a real person. She thinks and communicates in logical phrases. Grandma uses plain and simple language to make herself clear to others. Most people are a lot like Grandma in this respect. Most of them will also find themselves indifferent and even insulted if you try to talk over their heads.
I want to give you some yummy food for thought. That’s because “yummy food for thought” is more appetizing than “palatable incentive for continued exercitation of intellect”. Got it? Great … let’s dine!
What really got me thinking about this is my long and tedious research in the hunt for my next employer. It seems popular for companies to drone on with wordy hyperbole in their job descriptions. I suppose many people do that in their résumé, too. It is just one of those awkward formalities that has not adapted to the modern world quite yet.
Wordiness is like a dance to see who can sound smarter. Just read an average job description to understand why unemployment is so high. According to most job descriptions I’ve seen, it seems that companies can barely write a paragraph without floating in an extra 30 words of fluff to throw people off the real meaning. Here is an actual example of a job posting bullet point that I just found without looking very hard.
Organization and Efficiency – must have natural and impeccable organizational skills as well as the ability to multitask at a highly efficient level. Has proven experience working in a fast paced environment where quick and rational thinking was a daily requirement. Is nimble by nature and has proven experience systematically organizing their work and managing their time to maximize efficiency.
It seems that all they said was “We want an organized person who can keep up with a lot of things at once. They need to think fast, work fast, and prove a history of it.” Does it actually say anything more than that? If so, please explain it to me. They said it in 62 words and 399 characters, but my “less intelligent” version trimmed it down to 29 words and 136 characters.
Are you ready for the irony? This particular job listing is for a Marketing Director at a marketing company. This kind of language reminds me how often I see similar diarrhea-like communication in marketing.
Stop Abusing Grandmas!
Grandma and all those many people like her do not like it when you try to baffle them with frivolous words and phrases to try and seem smarter. If you want Grandma to like you, it is better to make her feel smart because she clearly understands and can relate to your ideas.
If you cannot make it easy and comfortable, Grandma is not going to become your biggest fan and brand advocate. It is also very unlikely that she is going to speak up and let you know what you’re doing wrong. After all, you have already done your best to show that you know it all.
I think the reason bad marketing communication makes grandma want to turn ninja is that while you may sincerely believe you are “proficiently communicating in a manner that is consistent with sound business practices and expected protocols”, you are actually talking down to her. If you keep it up, you will grate on her last nerve and the outcome is bleak.
Don't Speak to Grandma Like That!
Bridle Your Verbose Hyperbole and Expedite Your Simplicity
Let me give it to you straight. If you are “excessively verbose and embellish your communications with gratuitous hyperbole”, you will ignore and alienate the majority of any market.
It is even true in the most intelligent circles that if you make it easier to read, more people will pay attention. If you communicate with people as if they are idiots and you are a brilliant word magician, you can save your breath. It often creates quite the opposite outcome and shows that you’re not smart enough to put things into terms people care about or respond to.
If you want to show off your intellect, try taking your complex concept and making it easy for people to understand. That is a much better measure to show off how smart you are.
People want to communicate with people, and not Scrabble robots. If you want to reach grandma or those many others who live in the “real world”, you will do best to use real world language that is comfortable for them.
The Solution: Make it Readable to 8th Graders
The best advice I can offer about marketing communications is to make it easy. I understand the temptation to use big words or complex phrases to make a point. Maybe you even talk like that when you are having beers with your buddies – but I doubt it. Let me make another example. I’ll let you tell me which one you think is better.
A.) What I wish to express is that when you use big words and complex phrases, you not only alienate people, but also stand to lose their attention.
B.) If you make it harder to read, you’ll lose people.
You can criticize me for my lengthy writing. I’m guilty of this “crime against Grandma” at times. There is a time and a place for it, though. Knowing when and where to use your wordiness is worth consideration.
If you are not already familiar, I encourage you to take a close look at popular readability formulas such as The Flesch formulas, Fry Readability Graph, or The Dale–Chall formula. It should not be shocking to find that they were each designed to be very easy to read and understand.
I’m back to my job search now. I’m hopeful there’s somebody out there who wants a real-world marketing executive that grandmas everywhere will understand – and love.
I consider myself lucky to be looking for a new job in marketing. That may sound completely insane to millions of people looking for work these days, but I’m inspired by it. I’ll tell you why.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – I’m not good at everything, and I don’t want to be. I am good at marketing, and that’s where I want to focus. It is best to have focus in any career, and perhaps this will get you thinking about a closer focus on your best assets and interests, too.
I’ve been the CEO of companies for a very long time. It is not because I am good at everything to do with a business. It is because I did an exceptional job of marketing communications – enough to build a successful corporation.
Some people have questioned why I would ever want to make a career change, but I have some excellent reasons. Being at the top of a corporation has its perks, but when it comes time for the tough decisions, they often land on the CEO’s desk. For example, in 2009, when suppliers began to falter and it was time to decide whether to pump my own money back into the company to preserve many people’s jobs a little longer, I did it. I made the decisions that a “better” CEO would never have done … and it cost me millions. I don’t want those decisions, because they hurt me, and they don’t focus on my best assets.
I guess I could call this writing my occupational therapy. It’s helping me to further define where I’ve been, and where I’m going. It’s forcing some of those tough questions that I never really put my finger on before. I believe it will even help me with better direction when I go to interview those lucky folks who seek to hire me. If I do this right, it may get you thinking about what you love about your work, and what you would rather leave behind.
Here is my list of seven things I love about my next job in marketing. I will begin with the three things I will be the most joyful to dismiss from my current role in marketing. This is not intended to be negative about my current work, but rather a forward look at what I will love about my next job role. It adds emphasis to why I made the decision to seek a new career adventure.
Love Comes in Many Forms
Number One Love About My Next Marketing Job: No More Apathetic Clients
As I make my move away from providing marketing services as a consultant, leaving apathetic clients in the past is my biggest relief. I will never – and I mean never – subject myself to explaining the benefits of marketing to another person who is any of the following:
indifferent about their business objectives, or refuses to define their business objectives.
too paralyzed by fear to make good business decisions.
convinced that marketing is an expense rather than an investment.
a big talker who is actually flat broke and trying to impress or mislead me. Only real data is allowed here.
wasting my time. I am entirely done with that. My time is worth a lot of money, but its value is greatly diminished when I waste it with people just because I’m nicer and more considerate than they are.
Number Two Love About My Next Marketing Job: Ignorant Clients Be Gone!
I think I may whistle and skip my way into the office an hour early every day for this one.
I will never be asked to speak to somebody who has not already been vetted and prepared for the valuable information I will share with them. I will never have to entertain the bottom of the barrel. That’s because my new employer will realize I’m far more valuable to the company when I’m not trying to slit my wrists with paper cuts from the 45 page proposal that I spent three weeks researching, or thrusting forks into my eyeballs when I look across the table at the zombies who just didn’t get it.
If dealing with apathetic clients is like setting me on fire, then ignorance is like throwing tequila at my flaming corpse and calling it a party.
I have often said that when it comes to marketing, there are no innocent victims … just ignorant ones. Nearly anything a person could ever hope to know about our world is on the Internet. Yet, I find that many people will still try to hide behind their ignorance as a shelter. Who are they fooling, anyway?
What’s worse is that in order to be ignorant in this great era of information, a person has to be apathetic, too. If they actually care to know enough to save their own skin, they can pick up a mouse and know it in an instant. The trouble here is that so many want-to-be clients don’t comprehend the value in paying somebody who knows the right questions to ask … so they hide under their ignorance blanket.
Here are some of my most polite answers for those ignorant people:
No! You cannot increase your return on investment without an investment. Please slap yourself for me.
No! It is not a good idea to spend more on telephone book advertising than on the Internet.
No! I will not choke you until you turn blue for being ignorant, but mostly because I don’t want that on my résumé.
No! You may not have another free consultation. Do you swipe the whole tray of free samples at the grocery store, too, deadbeat?
Number Three Love About My Next Marketing Job: Dishonest Clients Turn to Dust
I will never be ripped off for the value of a new luxury car again! Oh yes, that actually happened in my former professional life.
I guess I can sum this one up pretty quick with the words “Suture Express“. That’s the name of a company where the CFO (now CEO), Bryan Forsythe, claimed the check was in the mail (for weeks) and ripped me off, but then tried to pay me off later to take down what I wrote about them because my marketing was too good. Marketing Lesson Learned: Don’t hire the best marketing guy you can find, but then rip him off when it’s time to pay the bill. Even the best reputation management cannot make up for decisions that bad.
This one is a case study in what not to do if you ever want to market a business online. Just see how many nice things show up in the first page of Google when searching their company name. When I say this one is a case study, it really is, and it’s been referenced in keynotes at industry conferences. It is a case study that I will never need to address in my next marketing job – not a chance!
Number Four Love About My Next Marketing Job: A Great Team
I feel fortunate for my knack at finding the right people for the job. Knowing how to recognize and delegate to the best people for the task at hand has served me exceptionally well in my career. They don’t always need an MBA or a perfect résumé. They have to be right for the responsibilities they are given.
The think tanks are built in! A skill that I very often embrace is putting together think tanks of bright and talented people who can imagine the right questions and think their way through to solutions as a group. Ideas are fun to produce and shape into works of art. Thinking and being with thinkers creates great passion for me.
I look forward to working with a team where I can make magic happen and we can be glad to see each other every morning. That’s worth more than money alone, and that spins my turbines!
My new office will come complete with thinkers to put into the tank, and will also enjoy the benefits of my existing network of great thinkers.
Number Five Love About My Next Marketing Job: They Will Love Me, Too!
I am a highly dedicated person, and I take a lot of pride in doing things the right way. When I consider my new adventure, it is important that my new employer recognizes my dedication to their success. Likewise, they will be dedicated to my success.
I don’t just skip around to the next great thing in my career. I have three more kids and many more years of experience than I did the last time I changed jobs. I am not wishy-washy about my work, and I don’t plan to leave anytime soon.
My next employer will appreciate my dedication, and they will notice very early that “This Murnahan guy doesn’t think like those other applicants. He has something special in mind.” They’ll be right, too. I have some very special ideas in store for my next employer – and they will love it!
Number Six Love About My Next Marketing Job: The Location is Amazing
As I discussed this with my wife, we realized that the location of my next marketing job will be incredible. We will enjoy a great city that is mostly new to us, and we will discover many amazing things to do as a husband and wife with three brilliant kids. We will see our new adventure with amazement, and we’re each very excited to know where it will be!
Number Seven Love About My Next Marketing Job: I Get Paid for This!
With all the great things that come with my next marketing job, I’ve got to say that getting paid for doing what I love is fantastic! I’ll probably be paid a whole lot. It will not match my previous seven digit earnings, but it’s going to be a nice income for doing the job I would choose if all jobs paid exactly the same thing.
There you have it. That’s the list of seven things I love about my next marketing job. Do you have a list burning to get out? I know I could sure go on with a Top 100 list. For now, this one feels like a great start. I hope it will help you to think about your own list.
I have just one more thing to add. If you have a good lead for where I may find my next marketing job, please introduce me or pass this along to others. Perhaps it will eventually land on the right desk of that one special person at that one special company for me. Thank you kindly!
