Applebee’s Review Explains Why Companies Should Care About Online Reviews

Applebee's Served This Tough Old Cow!
Applebee's Served This Tough Old Cow!


Do people complain differently online than they do to your face? In most cases, you bet they do! Let’s have a look at why that matters, and how you can turn bad online reviews from a frightening fact of life into a benefit. First, here’s a short and relevant story from real life. It is my online review of Applebee’s Neighborhood Grill & Bar in Topeka, Kansas.

My wife and I worked very hard through the week. I am a web guy, and she is Owner / Chef of Mad Eliza’s Cakes and Confections … working hard is what we do.

After a long work week, we decided that our kitchen at home was closed for the day. Without deciding on a destination, we packed the kids in the car and headed out for dinner. As we drove down what I would describe as “restaurant row” in our town of Topeka, Kansas, we decided to go to Applebee’s. We figured it would be a quick place to eat, with something to suit everybody from ages two to 39. We had not been to an Applebee’s restaurant in a long time, but it didn’t take long to realize why.

Perhaps I would be a lot harsher if I had not waited ten days to write this, but I’ll be generous to say that they did a fine job with the ice water. As for the steak, it was absolutely without a shadow of a doubt the worst piece of meat I ever saw on a plate. It was as if Applebee’s purchasing department found the toughest cow in the pasture, put it on a treadmill for a few months to get rid of any tenderness or flavor, and waited for it to die of old age. Then they took the sick joke even further and sent it to my local Applebee’s, cooked it to a charcoal briquette and put it on my plate!

Note to Applebee’s: When a guy orders a steak “rare enough that a good veterinarian could bring it back to life”, and specifically asks for it cold, that means you don’t cook the damn thing into jerky!

That’s enough about the poor old cow … but how about that “baked” potato? It was cold … the way I asked for the steak. I could barely even cut it with the knife they gave me, and I am not exaggerating.

I hesitate to give an accurate Gordon Ramsay style critique, but mostly because I don’t want to curse that much on my blog … on a Monday. So, I made a video montage of Chef Ramsay to do the cursing at Applebee’s for me.

My wife suggested that I tell them about it, but I said … “I’m not going to be one of those people.” Of course, I followed it up by whipping out my phone, taking a photo, and saying “Nope … I’ll blog about it.” I am always looking for real-life experiences to blog about, so this opened the door to a topic of online reviews, and what could be better than a restaurant to demonstrate?

I don’t enjoy the personal confrontation, and I am not alone in this. Besides, if Applebee’s is running the kitchen that poorly, I can only imagine what kind of people are back there … and what they would do to my food if I told them they had done a bad job. Have you ever seen the movie “Waiting”? Here … watch this video Why We Use Online Restaurant Review Sites to see what I mean.

Online Reviews Demonstrate How Customers Complain After They Leave

It may be easy to imagine that customers will exaggerate a complaint in an online review more than in person. There are surely instances of this, but the frightening reality is that people are often just being more forthright with their feelings of frustration.

It is easier to complain without company representation there trying to defend something that, as a customer in the heat of the moment, may seem indefensible. This holds true for both online and offline communications, but many people have come to expect less defensiveness from companies in online communications. One reason is because the company knows other people are watching, and another far worse reason is because the company is not watching.

Have you ever tried to complain to somebody who just didn’t seem to listen, or who did not give you the response you hoped for when you did complain? If you have ever encountered it, you surely know how aggravating that can feel. It is like an act of passive aggression, and it adds fuel to the fire. That is exactly how online complaints tend go, when companies are not listening. Here is the Wikipedia definition for passive–aggressive behavior:

Passive–aggressive behavior, a personality trait, is passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to following through with expectations in interpersonal or occupational situations. It is a personality trait marked by a pervasive pattern of negative attitudes and passive, usually disavowed resistance in interpersonal or occupational situations.

It can manifest itself as learned helplessness, procrastination, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible.

Online Reviews Are Not Just for Consumers to Read

I find many instances of companies afraid to acknowledge their online reviews. I have heard people say things as absurd as “we cannot do anything about a negative review anyway” or “what if we respond to a review and people don’t like it?”

Being both a consumer, and a marketing strategist, I hope you can imagine how this makes my hair gray. What about the concern that these are customers who want to be heard, and deserve to be heard? What about the outcome if companies don’t respond … can they really somehow believe that people will like that any better?

Reviews are great for consumers. They may present their review as a compliment, as constructive criticism, or express their anger to a company where others can see it. In each case, they present opportunities for a company to come out better than before.

In some instances, a customer may just feel that their complaint is too petty to deliver in person, or they don’t feel like the outcome will be worth even the least confrontation. Of course, there is also the matter of hunting down and waiting for the right person to best direct the complaint. Have you ever waited for a manager in a store or restaurant, or waited on hold to tell your story? People really hate that, but online, there is no waiting to say your piece, and there are often other consumers there to cheer you on with a rant. This is especially the case if the company is not responding, or responds poorly.

An Upside to Bad Reviews

Even in the event of a dispute or a harsh criticism, there is a great opportunity to improve people’s opinion. Dispute resolution provides many chances to let people see your company in a completely new light. If you handle online reviews well, the opportunity for gain is even greater than offline communication. Then again, so is the loss … so it is important to get this right! Give it some thought before you react. Consider how others may feel. Whatever you do, don’t bury your head in the sand and act like you never saw it. That is pathetic, and that’s will just add fuel to an already destructive fire.

Try to look at it this way: Complaints are a customer’s way of giving you a chance to regain their faith and make them happy. Ignoring them is not the right answer.

I have just one more thing to add, before I leave you to write your comments and share this with others. Here is a closer look at that disgusting steak and potato that Applebee’s served. It does not quite look like the one in their menu.

Steak from Applebee's Neighborhood Grill & Bar, Topeka, Kansas
Steak from Applebee's Neighborhood Grill & Bar, Topeka, Kansas


Addendum:

At the “brilliant” urging of a commenter, Lori Smart, I decided to add a copy of my receipt from this visit to Applebee’s. After all, as she said, “there is no record at the location’s management that you were even a customer there”. Here is that record, complete with the server’s name.

Applebee's Receipt
Applebee's Receipt

Here is a photo of my three kids across the table from my horrid Applebee’s steak. After seeing that nasty piece of meat, my dear little Madeline had to force a smile through the fear. 😀

Murnahan Kids at Applebee's
Murnahan Kids at Applebee's

Make it Harder to Leave, But Increase the Odds That You Will

Are You Making Your Grass Greener?
Are You Making Your Grass Greener?


I was just looking at my lawn, and it inspired me. Yes, it sounds silly, but hear me out. I will tell you a story, and maybe even plant a seed or two about getting the most from your life … starting now!

I want to pose a thought of how one of the famously noted “Seven Deadly Sins” can be effectively used, in moderation, to improve your business and personal life.

This is a story of taking inventory of life and business, and I hope you will use it for your benefit. First, I will explain why I took a closer inventory in my front yard this morning.

Back in late 2008, I became a reluctant participant of this thing we have called “economic recession”. Yeah, I am one of those CEO fellas who screwed up the whole economy. I was whacked hard and fast when multiple of my suppliers laid off thousands of employees and dropped some of the services I provided to customers. It was not anything within my control, and not my fault at all. A lot of jobs were lost, and a lot of pay cuts were handed down. Being heavily invested in my company, I took the biggest hit. In fact, I accepted it with pride, because I helped a lot of other people’s ships sink much slower.

Before the untimely meltdown, I lived in a very unique way. I was sitting pretty, just months from a young retirement. I enjoyed an amazing family life, with everything set to focus on being a full-time husband, daddy, and race car driver.

I pranced around in a custom built home with 5,000 square feet, that was perfectly ready to fill with babies. I enjoyed new Corvettes, Hummers, Jaguars, Escalades, fancy artwork, custom motorcycles, limousines, first class vacations, kickass clothes, and … you know, the whole ten yards. Sure, the common saying is “the whole nine yards“, but I added a few feet. Heck, I didn’t need credit, but I still found some good reasons to send over $50,000 per month to credit card companies. Yeah, I know … fifty grand per month … insane, right?!

I was feeling pretty proud of myself as I was living large, but not because I was living large. I did a fine job, and I became helpful to a lot of people. I turned out far better than my teachers expected when I left school for the last time at 15 years old. I had come a long way from the challenges of my youth. That feeling of pride was what got me moving, and kept me working harder. Yes, feelings of pride really can create a lot of drive in a person … keep reading.

In the big shuffle, I realized that there was a huge emotional backlash. It made things a lot more stressful, and I started losing the happy-go-lucky skip in my step. I was working more hours than before, and even more than in the earliest years of my company.

Something I saw then, and work hard to see each day, is possibility. I saw the possibility to grow, learn, and do more. I even took the initiative to write a few books, and a squillion blog posts about good marketing.

So, let me tell you something I learned along the way, and that I revisited this morning.

Remember to be Proud of Your Journey!
Remember to be Proud of Your Journey!

How You Feel Means a Lot!

I have observed that an incredible amount of potential comes from feeling good about yourself and the things you do. Sure, there is a list out there of “Seven Deadly Sins“, but I think one of them is a tool which is instrumental for success, if used in moderation. The one I considered early this morning as I looked at my lawn before the sun came up is “Pride”.

Feeling proud of yourself, your products or services, and who you are can create monumental changes in your life. Knowing that you are doing good things for good reasons helps your subconscious mind to discover ways to keep doing it, and doing it better. Feeling good, and being positive is not just some silly hype that motivational speakers sell. It really does matter, and this is something I want you to think about.

I moved to a smaller home in 2010, and I cut back on the fancy lifestyle. Although some would still call me “Mr. Fancy Pants”, my pants are not nearly as fancy as they once were. I used wisdom, and some regret, while downsizing my life during the recession. There were many things, like my racing career, that took a back seat. A lot changed, and in case you ever wondered, you are not alone if you saw some changes, too.

Even after those changes, I still have a fantastic life in many ways. I have a wife and three kids who give me great pride. I am better at my job than ever, and I feel very proud of what I do to help businesses grow their market.

It may seem absolutely silly to you, but something that got me to thinking about this is looking at my lawn as the seeds I recently planted begin to sprout and turn green. It was a matter of pride that inspired me to plant that new seed this spring. I decided that even in a smaller home, with a smaller yard, I still wanted to make my scaled-down piece of awesomeness a bit harder to leave when it comes time.

Yes, I actually did stand in my driveway this early morning, look back toward my home, and realize something very cool that I feel is worth telling you. As uncomfortable as it may sound, I’ll bet you have some seeds to plant as well.

My Questions to You:

This “lawn moment” of mine really made me wonder about you, and what you are doing, and how you feel. So, I have some questions for you, and I hope you are not too chicken to answer them … at least to yourself.

  • What has given you pride in your life or your business that has been neglected, and that you could resurrect?
  • What little things will you notice today which inspire you?
  • What “seeds” can you plant to help bring you closer to things you want?
  • What seeds are you planting today?

Yes, this is still a blog about marketing, so don’t get confused. If your answers to these questions have anything to do with growing your business, I want to remind you that the best time to sow a seed is long before you want the plant. Don’t let fear or lack of pride get between you and a greener lawn. Take pride in your work, and spread it with others around you. People really will notice, whether it is a boss, an employee, or a customer … when you have true and sincere pride, it will show.

Waiting for greener pastures, or looking over the fence at the neighbor’s grass will not help unless you are prepared to get started now!

That’s my marketing message for today. Just as I said in the title: “Make it Harder to Leave, But Increase the Odds That You Will”. I am doing that with my home today, just as I do with my business. I may soon leave here and move on to bigger and better things, but if I don’t make it a little harder to leave, and nicer to remember, then I am not doing all that I can!

Are you doing all that you can?

I hope that you will reflect on this with sincerity, and if you know somebody who can benefit from taking a better personal and/or business inventory, do them a favor and share it with them.

Photo Credit: Grass by Ian T. McFarland via Flickr

Social Media and The Absurdity of Implied Reciprocity

Want Your Back Scratched? Think First!
Want Your Back Scratched? Think First!


If you are one of those people who expect social media favors because somebody owes you something, just stop it! If you like something and find value in it, share it with others or do whatever it is that you do with good information. Just don’t assume that it means people owe you anything.

In business, and in life, reciprocity is a wonderful thing. It feels good to do business with people who do business with you, right? You have probably heard the old saying, “You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.”

A problem with reciprocity comes when people start doing things they would normally not do, only in hopes of demanding favors in return. It is nice to reciprocate, but this does not mean it is implied.

I received a message on LinkedIn yesterday that read as follows: “Hi. I liked ur PAGE through LINKEDIN GROUP. Expecting ur LIKE and SUPPORT.” I thought to myself, “Really? You liked my page in order to add to my number of people artificially interested in my work and you want me to do the same? Oh, and ‘SUPPORT?’ Does this mean you want me to feed your kids, too?” I guess I just didn’t see that as any kind of favor.

If you like what I do, and you think you could learn something from a guy with over 20 years of successful marketing experience, by all means, “Like” my Facebook page. If you think you have done me some great favor and I am going to do you a favor by liking your Facebook page which has absolutely no interest to me, you need me worse than you think!

Why would you have any desire whatsoever to have me “Like” your Facebook page if I will never, ever, be a customer or recommend you to anybody because you are a a demanding douchebag who expects something from me?

If You Like Me, Just Like Me, But Stop Expecting Favors!
If You Like Me, Just Like Me, But Stop Expecting Favors!

Rather than to rewrite the whole thing, I want to share something I said in a previous article titled “Do You Tweet and Retweet Seeking Favors?” Here is the closely paraphrased version:

People in the social media field often build relationships in which they will work together to spread a message. As long as there is honesty and integrity in the message, I am generally happy to help. However, I have been hit over the head with some of this recently. It seems that I get a lot of requests to scratch somebody’s back. It is all fine and good to be reciprocal, but is it good to take away the human filter that makes us who we are?

If all I was doing was tweeting, retweeting, blogging, Facebooking, YouTubing, Digging, Stumbling, and etcetera, because I hoped people would return the favor, would people still care what I had to say? I do not imagine the answer is “yes”.

Reciprocity Has Its Place

Don’t get me wrong, reciprocity certainly has its place, but if you are doing things with expectations of others doing things for you in return, don’t you at least think it should be something meaningful or useful?

The only time I recall actually being a little hacked by lack of reciprocity was from a car dealer. Hell, I purchased three brand new Corvettes and a Cadillac Escalade (total cost over $240,000) from this guy in under a year’s time, and I sent him many new customers. When he went to somebody else for his web hosting because it was cheaper than my recommended $209 per year plan, I kind of thought that was a bad business decision. Then when he asked me about a new website and used my website proposal to shop around, I wanted to kick him in the nuts. Yeah, I kind of felt slapped in the face, but I will still buy a car from him based on the merits of his business … not mine!

I Did Not Buy These Just to Sell a Website!
I Did Not Buy These Just to Sell a Website!

In summary, don’t “Like” my Facebook, subscribe to my blog, follow me on Twitter, link to this page, kiss my butt with kind comments in my blog, or anything else of the sort if it is only because you want something. Do it because you know I am not full of crap and because you receive value from my hard work.

I may reciprocate, but not because I feel guilty if I don’t.

I have just one more thought for you, and it is what my wife said when I mentioned this subject to her. Here is another way to look at it, and a brilliantly performed song.

Note that since I wrote this, I have replaced the Bonnie Raitt version of the song. Apparently she stopped allowing her YouTube videos to be embedded in web pages. this guy performs it nicely, too!

I Can’t Make You Love Me

Dog Photo Credit to wsilver via Flickr

Why Disqus May Be The Best Social Network of 2011

Let's Disqus This Network
Let's Disqus This Network


Even if you are the least tech-savvy person since my mother, it is clear that you will see this company popping up in more places during 2011. The name, “Disqus” (pronounced as discuss) is spread far and wide across the Internet, and its exposure is growing quickly as top tech and news blogs implement the service.

In November 2010 TechCrunch reported that there were over 500,000 communities using Disqus for more than 160 million conversations between 18 million profiles. According to Quantcast, Disqus is moving up quickly. Maybe you are not so sure about its importance just yet, but I am, and I want to share why Disqus is quickly climbing my list of favorite social networking tools.

I named Disqus a while back in an article titled “6 Essential Blogging Tools for Bloggers and Non-Bloggers” and that is certainly worth a read. Since the time I wrote that back in March 2010, my opinion of Disqus is better than ever.

The idea of using Disqus as a networking tool may sound completely off the wall to the many people who never heard of Disqus or took the time to understand its greater value. Likewise, sending a bunch of Twitter updates sounded pretty absurd in 2007, but we all watched how Twitter took off. I suppose I don’t need to say much about Facebook. The 650 million Facebook users pretty well sum up the public interest in that platform. So, how can Disqus be placed in the company of these massively adopted networks? I will explain, and I think you will have a much different view of the service by the time I am done.

Something many people may overlook about Disqus is how seamlessly it pulls together a broad picture of a user’s interests, and how well it can connect people.

Disqus will not become the next Facebook, threaten Twitter, or replace LinkedIn. What Disqus can do is to tighten people’s existing networks and create many opportunities for new and stronger network connections.

In the face of social networking becoming “looser” than ever for a lot of people, tighter networks of like-minded people are not only important, but something many Internet users are begging for. Disqus delivers on this need, in a big way, for people who choose to use it.

Let’s take an under-the hood look at Disqus for a moment. A lot of people may simply see Disqus as the commenting system on some of their favorite blogs, but completely overlook its best assets. First, let me explain what Disqus is, on the surface, for people who are unfamiliar. Then I will move on to the reason that Disqus is useful for networking, far beyond just its value to blog administrators.

What is Disqus?

Disqus is a service that is used by many blogs for moderating and responding to readers’ comments. It allows users to comment on blogs the “old fashioned” way, by entering their name, email, website address, and comment, or they can choose to use their photo and information based on a variety of other profiles, such as Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo, OpenID, or simply their Disqus profile.

Optionally, readers can choose to share their comment, on a comment-by-comment basis, with their extended network. This is good for readers to share their point of view, and also good for bloggers who enjoy their work being shared. It is a win-win relationship.

Disqus provides for real-time updating of comments. In an active discussion, this allows readers to see new comments without even refreshing the page.

Disqus also provides options for users to receive updates of replies to their comments by email, or simply within their “Disqus Dashboard” where there is a section titled “Replies to you”. It makes blog commenting more interactive than ever, and opens a lot of possibilities for people willing to look three inches beyond their nose. It is a lot easier than other methods of subscribing to follow a thread, and much tidier for monitoring replies.

Disqus Dashboard is Easy and Searchable
Disqus Dashboard is Easy and Searchable

Disqus Creates Deeper Conversations!

Maybe you have hoped that posting a link on Twitter or Facebook to an article that you read will give people a feel for what you like, what interests you, and what you read. The trouble with this is when it leaves them hanging without knowing what you thought of it. Believe me when I say that most people are not going to dig through the comments to see what you said about something. Most of the time, they will not even click to see the article, but rather draw conclusions and comment on the title.

Maybe you can add in a little bit of flair with your commentary, but then the conversation is all broken up between the article, the shortness of a Twitter post, and your Facebook comments versus the comments of the other people who read the blog. That all tends to create a lot of off-topic discussion, and dilutes what you and others had to say about the topic.

On the other hand, if somebody sees it in your Disqus profile and follows what you read and have to say on a topic, the whole character starts to change. Disqus makes it very easy to follow other people. It is a chance for others to be more involved in your conversations around the web. If they like communicating with you, it can give a good feel for who you are and your points of view. It can also help you to gain a closer relationship with the people you choose to interact with. For example, if you happen to come across my political views, you may find that I am feisty but fair. If you come across my business views, you may find that I read carefully, think a whole lot, and try to bring a my ideas to the discussion.

It is noteworthy that commenting on a blog article reflects a greater commitment than most other social networking quips and snippets that people leave behind. Blog comments are commonly lengthier and more thought out about a specific topic than comments elsewhere. It really does generally allow for a closer sense of a person’s views on a topic. I invite you to see an example of this in my Disqus profile. If you click on “Activity” at the top, you can scroll through and see comments I have made here and on other blogs.

Turn Any Website Into a Blog

I can point out a lot of reasons that Disqus is growing quickly, and this is certainly a big one. Disqus makes it simple to add commenting to any existing website. With their simple “Universal Code” Disqus commenting system can be added to any web page.

Let’s say you have a boring old static website and you want to add commenting to a page, or a set of pages. There is more to a blog than the commenting features, but many people would consider comments the most obvious feature of blogs. Disqus makes it simple to add their commenting system to any boring old website, and has excellent code and documentation for many popular platforms. They have made it extremely easy, even for a relatively novice web developer.

Disqus Security Considerations

You can certainly post on blogs using Disqus with an alias, or anonymously, but the things you have to say are the things which interest people. It is really not much fun to have people like you for one reason, but then find out they think you are horrible when they dig a bit deeper. If you posted it anywhere on a blog and somebody wants to find it, they will find it. This is the Internet, and most bloggers do their best to be sure a lot of people will see it. I think of this in a way similar to my article titled “Facebook Privacy Fears Are Absurd!“. Living in the fear of your own shadow is something that will be there with or without Disqus.

I guess this realistic view of the Internet and social media is why “social media transparency” has become such an overused buzzphrase.

Disqus and SEO

I know that a lot of people wonder about how Disqus affects search engine results, whether as a blog administrator, or as a commenter. I would stop at simply pointing out that I use it here on my SEO and Social Media Marketing blog, but that may not be enough to comfort you.

Many people who comment on blogs really love those links to their website they leave behind. After all, more links is a good thing. Disqus still allows you to leave your link, and it is still as valuable from an SEO standpoint as any other commenting system … perhaps even better. I may write about this at a later time, but I can tell you that the comments are well-indexed in search engines, and the links associated with those comments are also just as valuable as any other commenting system.

What I think sometimes confuses people about Disqus links is in the layout for non-logged-in “Guest” users. Disqus simply shows a “post as” link, but once you type your comment, you have the opportunity to add your website link and your Gravitar.

Disqus creates multiple links. If you click on the thumbnail picture of a user, it will show you their Disqus profile information, including their other communities and even their most recent Twitter update, if they associated their Twitter account. If you click on their name, it will link directly to their website of choice. If they have associated their Twitter account with their Disqus profile and you click to share your comment on Twitter, it will also send a reply to their Twitter username.

Disqus Signup and Other Links

If you made it this far, you are probably pretty curious to look a bit closer at Disqus. Here are some links to get your started.

I could keep writing all day to help you understand the ways to get the most from Disqus. There are a lot of excellent potential uses. For example, you can search with an email address to see what a person is saying on other blogs … did you know that? I wrote a 140 page book about Twitter, but I don’t plan to repeat that with Disqus. Instead, I will share what they say in their own words, invite you to discuss this, and happily answer your questions and comments. Here is what Disqus has to say:

What is Disqus?

Disqus (dis·cuss • dï-sküs’) is all about changing the way people think about discussion on the web. We’re big believers in the conversations and communities that form on blogs and other sites.

Now what do you have to say? Here is your chance to use Disqus and jump in the conversation. Please add your comments and don’t be shy. Another great feature of Disqus is that if you screw it up, you can go back and edit the comment.

Sutures: Another Reason I Love and Hate Marketing

Good Luck With Your Surgery!
Good Luck With Your Surgery!


You may say that marketing is not worth the time, effort, and monetary investment that others claim. Maybe it really isn’t what separates companies within an industry. It could just be luck which drives a company beyond their competitors’ boundaries and makes them successful in business. Maybe it is an awesome product at amazingly low cost supplied by a company that is willing to work hard while going broke. Yes, perhaps that is the real secret to success, and maybe the moon landing was a hoax, too.

The reasons for apprehension about marketing could be any of a squillion things which you can rationalize in your own mind, or it could simply be that you are scared to bankruptcy by the thought of putting a lot of money and hope into something you have pre-qualified as “doomed to fail”. Now, would you like to know why most marketing is doomed to fail, or would you rather just read another blog, buy another book, listen to another lecture, and follow what every other failed company that ever walked in your shoes did wrong?

I like to imagine that most companies would prefer to learn things without hastening failure, but I have been shocked before. In fact, I am shocked very often by things I learn while interviewing a prospective new client. Something I find most shocking is when smart people think that marketing is a matter of implementation, while strategy and planning go out the window. I hope you will have a little fun with this example I am about to spell out, because I will.

Oh No! Another Suture Hopeful

Sutures are those things that many people refer to as “stitches”. You know, like the kind you get when you bump your head and lose all of your logic.

I received an email message from the delighted VP of a surgical supply manufacturer a few weeks ago. He read and laughed his way to the bank about a story I wrote to exemplify an online marketing failure. He had every reason to love the story, because it was one of my best wrist-slaps of 2010 to a company that, in layman’s terms, “screwed the pooch”. You can say that it was an edgy move, but when this VP’s rival stiffed their marketing guy, they became an interesting study in just how bad a company can be represented online. I don’t go picking on companies indiscriminately, but I do carry a pretty big sword to wield against aggressors. In fact, this example has provided much amusement and joy to a whole lot of people in my industry.

The company who received my defensive wrist-slap was Suture Express. If you wonder why this rival surgical supply VP was delighted by my work, just perform a search on Google for Suture Express and read the first couple pages of results to find out how much love I gave them. They wanted search engine optimization, and they got it. In fact, they got enough search engine ranking that even the rival VP found me using a search for his own company name.

If Google deserves to be a verb to describe searching something online, then Suture Express has perhaps earned their place as a verb to describe companies who sabotage their online marketing hopes.

Anyway, this is not about Suture Express’ lies, or Suture Express CFO, Brian Forsythe. It is about having the guts to pull the trigger, and to understand that marketing is a huge factor in making or breaking a company.

I spoke with the amused surgical supply VP, and he was a joy to meet. He told me that he had a great laugh from my work, and that he could clearly see I know my career well. He also had a job for me to do.

The surgical supply manufacturer VP gave my name to one of his clients who wants to grow his online suture supply company and be more visible to people who buy sutures online. Since I rank right up there when people search for things like “order sutures online”, it seems pretty certain that I can help his client.

I received a call today, from the VP’s eager referral, and I was smacked with a snowball once again. Since I felt that the referral was pretty qualified, I spent some time on the phone with him. I liked him, too. I learned that he has five salaried field reps beating the streets and hitting the surgical centers and doctor’s offices, with some pretty impressive sales results at roughly a 40 percent closing ratio. It starts to sound like this guy has something that can be sold. He has technical studies to back up his products, and he is pretty enthusiastic about reaching the online market with it.

Slam on the brakes! He doesn’t have any goals, any budget, or anything more than a few basic statements to reflect why he even picked up the phone. He wants more people to know about his company, he wants more of them to come to his website, and he wants them to buy his products. It is simple, right? He lays all of his business hopes at the feet of a marketer, as so many people do, but he also wants it cheap. He would love to slide by paying a marketing guy less than he pays a sales rep, even when the rep has no sales. Yet, he wants to enjoy the branding and ongoing collateral that a marketing guy brings. That is pretty brilliant, except that it doesn’t jive. He wants what everybody else does, which is “the most bang for the buck”. Oh yes, but nix the buck part.

What I think he failed to realize, right off the bat, is that he is in a business that will go head to head with Suture Express. He knows the article I wrote explaining how his competitor spent $150,000 on a website and online marketing approach, and then called me to come and fix their mistakes. The article also explained that I turned down a lot of money to delete my story and sweep it under the rug.

With this information in-hand, he sent me the proposal his researcher gave him as the best alternative for their new online shopping cart, which was priced at $2,000. Are you kidding me?! Do people really hope to go to battle against a company who can buy and sell them with a bad day’s revenue, and do it without a real-life budget, or a plan? Worse yet, do they hope to do it with a plan that is comprised of nothing more than soliciting a marketing provider’s “off the cuff” proposal?

There is a lesson in this tale. If you don’t have a grasp on your market potential, don’t have quantifiable and achievable goals, and don’t have a solid and merit-based budget reflecting those goals, you need to pay somebody to do that research for you. Successful marketing does not come from shooting into the dark without a strategy. It is not the action of implementing ill-prepared tactics that a marketer suggests. Success requires research that experienced marketers are prepared to offer, but if you don’t have any of the basic groundwork, we get paid for that, too.

If you think that asking for a marketing proposal is how you will get the best research, think again. I can whip out a boilerplate marketing proposal that will keep you reading for hours, but it is not going to be anything more than a big number on a page if you are trying to get somewhere with your carriage pulling your horse.

I find that too many people think of marketing as simply an implementation of generic processes. If that is how you look at marketing, you may want to look again. You can search the Internet to buy sutures online, order sutures online, and an extensive list of other fancy search keywords like suture company, suture supply company, suture companies. You will find me very easily that way, and I don’t sell a single suture. To do that, it would take more than just a listing at the top of search engines and a lot of people talking about it.

Now, I ask you, does it look like I am writing a marketing proposal tonight? Oh, I guess you could call it that, but my proposal is this “Get serious, or go broke!”

That’s my rant for the day. What’s yours?

Photo Credit to SuperFantastic via Flickr