In a recent release by the Washington D.C. Centers for Unemployment Research, a study of unemployed Web developers revealed that over 68 percent were able to directly attribute their job loss to the widespread use of Internet Explorer. It concluded that adoption of Internet Explorer factors heavily in job loss within other industries outside of only technology during the years from 2007 through 2009, but particularly hard-hit was the ecommerce programming sector with up to 73 percent. Further, the study revealed that in nearly each instance, they had also failed to flog, berate, and publicly out their friends and family members who were known to use Internet Explorer.
In a more extensive study, the recently released Institute of Computer User Studies, United Kingdom Report (ICUSUKR) showed that the cost of Internet Explorer usage to business has reached an all-time high. The ICUSUKR concluded that even if you spell it out carefully, Internet Explorer users were up to 78 percent less likely to grasp basic computing concepts, including the “Any” key and other Internet-related tasks.
Does Internet Explorer Really Cause Job Loss?
Well, maybe, but I made that all that stuff up. It is a joke, but let us just look at this Internet Explorer for a moment. Internet Explorer creates such an excessive burden to the Internet public in areas of security, functionality, and design that if Toyota was to launch the next Internet Explorer, it would likely take all the heat off for their stuck throttle cables. I think General Motors and Bank of America should have rolled with something like this ages ago.
If you doubt me on the importance that you stop using Internet Explorer, please see the article on BBC News: “German government warns against using MS Explorer”. Seriously, watch the video on that article!
In any case, you probably wonder how Internet Explorer could contribute to unemployment. After all, that is why you clicked, right? I will break a couple things down for you. Let us first examine these geeky factors of cost to business. Yes, business … the ones you count on to put food on your table, and the ones you buy your stuff from. They all suffer from this Internet ailment.
We all understand that the Internet is where marketing and business takes place, right? If you deny that, get off my blog straight away. You do not belong here. Did you see what I write about?
Excessive Cost of Internet Explorer to Business
Programming Cost of Internet Explorer – When you hire a programmer to handle all of those tedious tasks of making your Website work just how you like, programmers and designers have this little calculator in their head counting all of the episodes of 24 they will have backed up on their DVR because they are busy making your site work with complete cross-platform compatibility. In simple terms, they have to count up how much extra time it will take them to fix all of the little buggy stuff Internet Explorer will do to their Web-Standards-Perfect masterpiece. Maybe you thought we use Microsoft Word to make Websites, but if you just click here, you can see what programming code it takes to make just this one measly page you are looking at. A few screwups there and you have yourself a broken Website that will not perform in Google, or get you those massive orders you were hoping for. Internet Explorer makes it a huge pain in our asses, and guess who pays for that? Yeah, companies. Companies that are already stretching every dime to put bloated junk code out there instead of doing things right … the way companies should strive to do business.
SPAM Cost of Internet Explorer – In comes the SPAM. Yep, SPAM! Since you did not flog, berate, and publicly out your friends and family members for using IE, they picked up a little something for you. They sent it in their email. It was the cutest thing, and you just had to pass it along.
You just sent your Website programmer and designer (along with all of your pals) 84 pieces of email about getting a diploma without going to school, 127 pieces of email offering cheap luxury watch replicas, and 363 offers for Viagra and Cialis. This is because when your friend’s computer was hacked, it spread like a virus. Exactly like a virus!
Yep, viral marketing at its best! You didn’t even have to participate, really. They had your email address in their infected computer and that was enough to make you even more popular. Just not in the “panties on your head singing the school fight song” way you used to seek popularity. All the same, you are popular now … be happy!
I know you may still be sore about all the time it took you to download that last AOL update, but please take the time to download a more secure and faster browser that uses Web Standards such as Google Chrome or Mozilla Firefox.
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