Social networking has been analyzed, scrutinized, bastardized, and commercialized, but my family is proof that it works, and that it has worked for over a decade. If you will give me a moment, I will tell you why I am blogging about this today, and give inspirational credit to people I met and have built deep relationships with that have lasted for over a decade and growing, and those whom I only recently met. I will start with today, and I will go back to the really good stuff when I met Peggy.
A little while ago, I sent a tweet on Twitter (for the confused, see: “Twitter Usage Study: Pass The Tweet #PTT“) and it read as follows:
“Social Networking Fact: I met my wife online in 2000 and we await the birth of our 3rd child in April. It works, I tell ya!”.
I sent this tweet after an engaging blog conversation asking “When will social media be ‘ready’?”. I am never the guy to leave a quick one-liner on a blog because I am just not a link-spammy blogger. I would rather say nothing at all than to say “Great article, it was really helpful.” As it should be, my comment was thoughtful, and it was engaged by the author, Caleb Gardner. Here is how it went:
Mark Aaron Murnahan:
When somebody questions the ROI of social media, they have already missed the point. It is worse than the mentality of trying to measure the ROI on taking a client to a ball game or going to dinner. Building relationships should not be measured by dollars and cents. I have just been communicating with a friend whom I met and have built a strong friendship since 1998. I have never asked her for business or for referrals, but you can bet that if she knows somebody who needs my services, I will get the call. Further, I did a lot of dating online years before it was common and finally met my wife online in 2000. We are now expecting our third child in April 2009. Social networking has been ready for years, but people being ready for it is another story. Social networking used to happen in ballrooms and the corner restaurant. The primary thing that changed was the venue.
calebgardner:
@Mark
I love the personal story about your wife. Way to make an emotional (literally) appeal for social networking.
It’s an interesting thought that social networking has been around for years. You’re right – it literally has in that we’ve always built relationships with those around us. I think what is happening is that the Web is making us more cognizant of the relationships we build, because we’re able to build them with people that we never would have been in contact with before.
Hmm… have to give that some more thought. Sounds like an interesting post on its own…
Mark Aaron Murnahan:
@caleb
Since my comment, I was on the phone with a good friend I know from my “other job” racing cars. His very financially successful company has a churn issue because of a hugely competitive market with tiny margins. I used myself as an example with him. I explained that he would not hear my message as clearly if he did not know me, my wife, my children, and my integrity. He has been in my garage working on racecars with me at 3:00am before a big event, and we drive around corners at 100+++MPH together, for the sake of Pete. He knows that I have a lot more at stake than a sales pitch. We have a relationship. I have tried to reach his executive staff to understand that without relationships, all we have is a sales pitch, and that people do not buy the pricetag but rather what is attached. He gets the message, and he is really excited to work together, as am I, but he is getting a lot of pushback on implementation from his fellow execs. They have a corporate stuffiness that does not even match their written message and their goals. The bottom line is that if we miss the relationships, we work much harder and achieve less. You built on our relationship by engaging me with your reply. This is how stuff really works. My next blog article about it is forthcoming.
How I Met My Wife: Re-tweeted
Remember that tweet I sent? It was re-tweeted and replied to, which is always an honor, because it means I said something that people actually heard and thought enough about to tell others, and to ask a question. A question was posed by @askorkin as follows:
“really! you met your wife online, i am intrigued how? if you don’t mind my asking :)”
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I replied:“Since you asked how I met my wife online, I am inspired to blog about it. It is my best proof that social networking really works.”
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My Social Networking in 1998
In 1998, I had a friend and business partner who did not really understand the reach of the Internet. He was a physician and I was a marketing guy. We were working on a project targeted toward pharmaceutical companies that were spending tons of money to bring doctors to luxury resorts in Miami, Palm Springs, Orlando, Phoenix, and elsewhere, to learn about their new drug. At the time, thanks to government subsidized travel and tourism in Central Europe, we found that it was actually less costly to bring American participants to a conference in Budapest, Hungary than to Miami. This became the target of our new conferencing company.
Jeff posed a lot of questions as to how the Internet worked into our business model. He did not really “get it”. I explained that I had developed a network of friends in the region, and globally. Even back then, my European social network of friends included Bianca, who was an au pair from Austria working in USA, with whom I have communicated even in the last 24 hours (see my Facebook).
We made connections with hotel managers, tourist attractions, and one of our favorites, Varsaci Karoly (“Karchi”). Karchi worked for the E.C. as a Euro Qualifier, and we were fast friends. We got to know him online, but he soon showed us many incredible times in Budapest. We had a lot of fun at the courtesy of the Hungarian government. After all, it was ideal for them to attract American dollars back then.
It was really sinking in for Jeff, by this point, that this Internet thing could be useful. However, he still questioned it as a marketing tool. It is funny how most people think of it as a marketing tool first, and a networking tool second. We (he) flipped that around. Jeff knew that I was pretty “Internet savvy”, but I needed to give him a clear example. This gets to how I met my wife.
Social Networking Study: “Mark the Single Guy”
By 1999, I was single, 26 years old, and retired. My marketing business had been pretty good to me, but my personal life was lackluster from years of focusing on my work. Jeff’s challenge to use the Internet to show localized results led me to kill two birds with one stone. I wanted a woman to hold, and he wanted to understand the Internet. Again, it is funny how he thought localization was the challenge back then, but now globalization is the challenge.
I set out to prove that there were enough people right there in our town of Topeka, Kansas, USA to show the Internet market reach. Of course, back then, his concern was that the audience may be too slim. Wow, I showed him. I used a XOOM.com account (back then xoom.com was a free host) to create a significantly detailed biography of “Mark the Single Guy”, and I used a “.cjb.net” account to shorten the URL. I included everything I liked, didn’t like, and I even had a special section about my baggage. The “Mark’s Baggage” section was complete with an affiliate link to ebags.com. I promoted my heart everywhere I could, and I used the equivalent of today’s “re-tweeting” by asking my online social network to pass along the bio and help me find the woman who would become the love of my life.
It was not too long before I was receiving 300-400 email messages per day from ladies within a 50 mile radius who wanted to meet me. I met a lot of ladies, and I had a lot of fun … yes, a lot! I met a few neurotic ladies like Sara, Nancy, and DeeAnne, and I broke a few hearts. I am still sorry for making one of the Stacys cry. She was a sweet girl, and I really liked her family. Of course, Sara, Nancy, and DeeAnne were the ones I really wanted, but thanks to them, I was single when I met my darling wife, Peggy.
After the neurotic gals had nearly broken my will, I was pretty careful when it came to being close to Peggy. I think I was in love with her before I ever touched her hand or smelled her hair. Peggy was clearly very special, and I would do my best to keep from hurting her with my baggage (and WOW, I had baggage). Peggy does not like to admit this, but she admitted back then to crying as she read the deepest parts of me, the man she really wanted but was afraid of.
Social Networking: Shedding My Skin for Peggy
Sharing the real me was like pulling a scab off my entire body and letting air hit my sensitive inside. In my biography, I had shed my skin and stood emotionally naked for the world to see and inspect. It is lucky for both of us that I was real. I showed my sweat, my tears, my fears, my body odor, and the things that made me a real person.
Is This Fact or Fiction?
Some will question if this is all real, just as Peggy did back then. The accounts you have read here are only a small part of the full story, but it is all real, and it is all me. Perhaps as you get to know me, I will tell you the really deep and hard stuff that I once shared more freely online.
It cannot be all wrong to share who you are. After all, that is how I met the love of my life and the mother of my six year old son, my three year old daughter, and the baby she carries today whom I will announce in April 2009.
If you would like to know me better, just tell me so, and we will make that happen. I know the value of social networking, and I treasure the many relationships I have built.
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