I really did not plan to write a new blog post tonight, but this came to me so profoundly that I could not avoid it. I realized a topic that has really bothered me for a while, but I just never came out with it. Well, here it is … love it or hate it.
If you tweet, retweet, blog, Facebook, YouTube, Digg, Stumble, or talk nicely about people because you are seeking favors, just stop!
I normally try to reciprocate kindness when it is due, as we all should. However, I must question where to draw the line. What I mean is if you hit me up asking for favors and you connect it to how you have done me a favor, you are not asking me to be a friend … you are placing expectations on me. It can almost feel like a threat in some strange way. It is like saying “I did something nice for you … shouldn’t you do something nice for me?” There is no kindness in that, there is no favor, and there is less room for the human filter that each of us represents. If you believe in my message and you think it is worth spreading, I certainly invite your favors. If I like your message, and I think it is worth spreading, I will do the same. If I write something that holds no merit and is unworthy of attention, or if it is disagreeable to you, I would never expect your favor.
I suppose the Good Old Boys club is still open for new members, but is it still relevant to today’s information channels? I guess the answer is both yes and no. As I wrote in my blog post “Social Media: How the Big Dogs Get Paid“ people in the social media field often build relationships in which they will work together to spread a message. As long as there is honesty and integrity in the message, I am generally happy to help. However, I have been hit over the head with some of this recently. It seems that I get a lot of requests to scratch somebody’s back. It is all fine and good to be reciprocal, but is it good to take away the human filter that makes us who we are?
If all I was doing was tweeting, retweeting, blogging, Facebooking, YouTubing, Digging, Stumbling, and etcetera because I hoped people would return the favor, would people still care what I had to say? I do not imagine the answer is yes.
Maybe I deserve this for asking my blog readers to help me spread the word about my upcoming book, “Twitter for Business: Twitter for Friends”. I would like to note, that I stated this as follows: “I hope that you will join me in this effort. If so, I humbly thank you, and assure you that I will do my best to not let you down.” The stated effort is to help me spread the word about a book that I sincerely believe can help others to understand and enjoy Twitter better. A part of this effort is to help people see greater value in Twitter and that will not happen if each of us is doing what we do because somebody is expecting something from us in return.
Be true to yourself, be true to others, and keep your human filter functioning. Do not do things only to please others. As I have said before, “I do not try to please everybody, and that pleases some people very much.” This may not be very popular, but I would rather have your respect than your favors.
NOTABLE INSPIRATION: I wish to note a couple of things inspiring me to write this article. Actually, I would consider them the straw that broke the camel’s back. One is a recent blog post by Louis Gray titled “Are Authors or Publications Impacting How You Consume the News?” This article discussed the politics of blogging. Another inspiration was a direct message I received on Twitter from somebody I had just met that read “Tweeted about ur blog to my peeps, will be happy if u say something kind re http://xxxxxxxxx.xxx to urs :-)”.
I guess it just struck me that if we all start tweeting things because we had to be asked, what happens to tweeting things because we really wanted to or cared about it?
What is the value of a Twitter follower to you? Is it going to make you the star of your high school football team? Will it make you prettier so you have a better shot in the cheerleader tryouts? Will you use that incredible popularity to turn it all into millions of dollars? What is it, really, that makes Twitter users so fascinated by gaining followers?
Why Do You Seek Twitter Followers?
It seems that having enough followers to fill a stadium provides some great sense of value, but unless you know what it is, or why you try so hard at increasing your fan base, perhaps it is best to slow the pace a bit and determine what you are after. This answer will be different for different people, but it is something I believe you should put your finger on before you try to game me for a follow and un-follow me as soon as I return-follow you. As one popular comedic act put it, “Homey don’t play dat!”
We all know that giving even the slightest glimpse of what you do to earn a living is totally taboo in social media. After all, this is social media folks … nobody here actually has a job or works for a living. If you have not already learned this lesson, you must not be following enough self-proclaimed social media experts or jealous antagonists who will try to sneak in their ads under the radar in hopes that people will swarm their Website and place orders without knowing that they are actually buying from somebody they follow on Twitter. O.K., you’ve got a whiff of my sarcasm, right?
The long and the short of it is that without either a desperate need for validation or a legitimate and useful business purpose, there should be no need to have a squillion followers!
The Nerdy Kid From Math Class
It is clear enough that many people using Twitter are doing so with the simple intent of having fun, meeting people, and enjoying learning the many wonders this smaller world offers. These are the ones so many of us like, because they pose little threat, and they are never trying to sell us something or teaching us how to get thousands of Twitter followers. They are also often the people without a massive base of followers, and not because they are not just as valued, but because they do not choose to participate in the popularity contest. Perhaps, in following my earlier comments regarding the star of the football team or cheerleader, this is the dork with the thick glasses and high-water pants. In this case, I feel right at home, because those are the kids I defended in school. Those are the kids I still talk to today. Those are the kids who somehow seemed real to me. Later, I found that they were also often the ones who avoided drug overdoses, divorce, jail, and many of the other things I watched the popular kids enjoy as their circle of friends crumbled and their popularity dwindled.
This nerdy kid from math class with only an itty-bitty follower count can be your best friend. I certainly find myself having meaningful chats with this nerd. The nerd knows me, and they know that I know them. They have earned my attention as I have theirs. They care what I have to say, and I care what they have to say. We may not always agree, but then, I disagreed with my wife once (but only once)! 😉
This nerdy kid I write about may have only heard me because there was nobody else talking to them, or because they were only listening to people who cared enough to reach out and be their friend. What may shock you is that the same nerdy kid may also decide that once they know you and your intentions, they want to hire you, buy from you, tell others about you, or leave their estate in Hawaii to you.
This nerdy kid is the majority. This nerdy kid has my respect and my loyalty.
How “Cool People” Have Many Twitter Followers
We all see the “cool” people with their amazing number of Twitter followers, but don’t you sometimes wonder why so many people are following them? I can tell you the top four ways it happens:
They repeatedly follow as many people as Twitter will allow, because the vast majority of people will return the follow.
They promptly unfollow anybody not following them, so Twitter will allow them to follow more.
They represent a value to other Twitter users, and people want to hear what they have to say.
They have a television, radio, print, Internet, or other history that draws people to follow them on Twitter.
With regard to number one, this is something I personally do not find to be of great value. However, some people that I actually kind of like to follow are engaging in this on a regular basis. This is their way, and I do not hold a grudge, but I also know that there is a very miniscule number of people doing this who will ever deliver the value which their popularity would seemingly represent. This is a tactic used by millions of Twitter users … perhaps even you. It also yields the lowest probability of users reading what you tweet, responding to it, or having any interaction with you whatsoever.
Number two is a sad after-effect of number one. I have wanted to be the guy who follows all of the people who were so “interested” that they would follow my tweets. I still test this on occasion, but it has become just about as useless as number one. I recently tested this by blindly re-following roughly 1,000 people who were following my tweets. To put it mildly, I will say that I found many opportunities to get thousands of Twitter followers, buy more real estate, read more SEO blogs, and join in more games. Yet, I still cannot determine a single user from this test group with which I have held a useful conversation, read an interesting message from, or grown my business. The amazing and wonderful result was that it did grow my follower count! So what gives? Well, number one and number two are closely joined. It seems that when I return-follow each user following my Twitter feed, my following grows massively. This is largely why at this moment, there are 15,682 users following my Twitter feed. If I did not follow them, many would not stick around long enough to find whether I hold any value or not. They simply use a combination of steps one and two above. I have commonly re-followed most people who follow my Twitter feed, which I believe is useful so that they may direct message me if they should choose. However, even when I follow them, they should know that I do not see everything they send publicly … nobody following a massive number of people will. If they want me to see everything they say, they will engage in conversation, become my friend, be added to one of my Seesmic Desktop groups, grow their way to my “Follow Close” group, and then I will read every last word they ever tweet. Short of that, just having me follow them is less useful than putting an @murnahan in the tweet, because I read 100% of those!
On to number three from the list, I really hope and believe that I am one of these people. I share what I think, I tweet some funny, entertaining, and useful stuff. I engage with anybody who will talk to me, and I am available outside Twitter at any time of night or day. I am the guy who really does care to hear from you … try me!
Number four … well, I know some. One that comes to mind is Ashton Kutcher (@aplusk). I do follow Ashton, but that all started when Ashton followed my Twitter feed, and I wanted to be sure he could return message me directly after I sent him a direct message. Since that time, he has been pretty downright respectful toward me. We are not close buddies, but we do direct message back and forth once in a while. I sometimes suspect that he is actually seeing a lot more than people think he is. I have also heard through the grapevine that M. C. Hammer (@mchammer) is also a bit more saavy than one may anticipate. However, we can generally expect that this group will not show up for your next family reunion or holiday party.
Why Does Twitter Need Another Book?
After responding to a blog post criticizing this very topic of the hunt for huge numbers of followers, I read a response to my reply on that blog that said “If you need to read a book about Twitter, you’re doing it wrong“. Of course, to this, I found a great deal of inaccuracy. I would contend that the very greatest value of social media is to gain a greater understanding of those around us, and this applies to all of us, whether we are making friends or selling weight loss products and Viagra, like everybody else. To this point, I would suggest that I have a lot to share on the topic, and it seems that a good number of people have learned about Twitter from me.
Buy This or I Strangle The Nerdy Kid From Math Class!
Back to my high school bit from above: I try to joke, but I am also selling something here. I hope that you will buy it, read it, and learn a lot from it. Don’t worry … you are not alone. I will try my best to sell my upcoming book to millions of others who may need some help figuring out how to use Twitter better, what Twitter applications work the best, how to filter information better, and much more. I strongly believe and hope very much that my soon-to-be-released book will help people to realize a greater value from Twitter, relate to others better, respect the community of Twitter, and find it as more than an update service or spam venue.
I will not bug you about this, send you a ton of junk, or stoop to a level beneath me, but I would like to ask you to help me spread the word. If you have read this far, you clearly had some interest in what I have to say. If you are even in the slightest way inclined to help me get the word out, please enter a comment to this blog post. Tell me that you are interested in helping me to spread the word about my book, read my book, or that you are sick and tired of watching Twitter friends fade away because they are too flooded with new friends and don’t know how to add you to a group where they will still be reminded of you from time to time.
Ramble, ramble, ramble … note that I have recently been accustomed to writing lengthier topics. My book, Twitter for Business: Twitter for Friends” will be completed later this week, and in print in just a couple weeks. It took longer than expected to finalize, but mostly because I keep adding useful stuff to help the Twitter community. I hope that you will join me in this effort. If so, I humbly thank you, and assure you that I will do my best to not let you down.
I visited with Loic Le Meur today about Seesmic Desktop while preparing for the release of my new book, “Twitter for Business: Twitter for Friends”. Loic answers questions about the future of Seesmic Desktop including the list as follows:
How soon do you expect to release the next Seesmic Desktop update, and what additional features do you plan to implement?
Is Twhirl a relic, or will you continue to improve it and release updates?
Have you considered adding column filters in Seesmic Desktop?
How is API resource management handled in seesmic Desktop?
Have you considered an option for opening profiles directly to a browser?
It seems that account management of multiple Twitter accounts is a hit. Would you like to expand on this?
How do you feel about recent negative reports concerning Twitter’s user retention, and do you believe Seesmic can help to change this?
I have noticed that Seesmic Desktop does not ask the popular question of “What are you doing?”. Should this imply something?
It is pretty obvious that Seesmic does not have any specific branding to Twitter, such as Tweet, Twit, or Tweeps, in the name. Do you plan to add additional micro-blogging or other social media platforms, aside from Twitter and Facebook, in the future?
How will Seesmic benefit from creating and maintaining Seesmic Desktop? How will you monetize Seesmic Desktop?
What is your vision for Seesmic?
Since Loic and myself are both very busy, we did not have a lot of lead time for this talk. We initially Webcasted this live with both of us on-screen, but uStream does not record co-hosts, so this video only includes the audio for Loic. Also, try to ignore the typo in his name on the banner … Sorry Loic! In my defense, I have no aspirations in television broadcast. I am fortunate to have spelled my own name correctly. 🙂
In great social media fashion, we all use Twitter in our own unique way. Use of Twitter often includes the use of many Twitter-related web applications. This means applications that are Web-based, and that we use to manage functions of our Twitter use. There are many great tools for finding people with common interests, finding people based on geography, scoring users’ perceived usefulness, arranging tweetups, viewing and sending tweets, and more. In many cases, we are blessed by brilliant visionaries who saw a need and got to work to provide a new tool to help us.
Help Create a List of Twitter Applications
I want to hear what you think. As many of my readers already know, I will soon launch my new book, “Twitter for Business: Twitter for Friends“ to help people to gain a greater understanding and value from their use of Twitter. In order to make it as useful and up-to-date as possible, I am calling on you to share your experience with the many Web-based applications available today. I hope to review and use your suggestions in my book.
Please add your comment to this blog post and include the name of the service, the Web address, and your Twitter username. Please include your Twitter account in the form of http://twitter.com/username, and not just @username.
PLEASE NOTE: What I am seeking here is strictly Web-based applications and not desktop applications. Click here for my survey of other Twitter applications.
I hope you can relate to this recognition of friends the way I do. When I think about the friends I meet through social networking, it brings a mental image. The particular friends that come to mind at any moment change based on my mood, or based on things around me. If I feel comical, I may think of friends who make me laugh, and if I feel intellectual, I may think about friends who make me think. These friends are a part of my life, just as much as the friends I see for lunch, or for coffee at my favorite coffee shops. These relationships deserve my attention, and when my attention to them is lessened by other things around me it can feel a bit awkward.
I would like you try and recall some of the friends you have made with which somehow the communication has faded in time. Perhaps you cannot recall why, or you had little control over the circumstances, but the communication has slowed down. One instance that comes to mind is a good friend, Jeff. I used to spend more time riding motorcycles with Jeff. Since my work has been in overdrive all year, and with a newborn baby in the house, I have not spent much time on my chopper, which is one of my favorite hobbies. We still talk now and then, but there is a kind of disappointment that we surely must remedy with a good road trip. I am still Jeff’s good friend, but life got in the way temporarily. Another reversed example is my good friend, Mike. Mike is a state legislator, and while he is in session, he becomes really busy. We still talk often, but with our busy lives it can become far too easy to lack communication. Fortunately, I spent much of my day yesterday helping Mike with a project, followed by a cookout at my home with our wives and children. It was a real treat!
How I Was a Bad social Networker
So how have I been a bad social networker? Similar to the instances above, I feel that I have neglected many of my friends here at my blog, and also Twitter, Ustream, Facebook, LinkedIn, and other social networking sites. This is something I always try to warn people against. After all, if you have invested your time in a relationship only to neglect it, it is worse than never having forged these relationships at all.
Why I have Been Bad
I have tried to make my excuse obvious, and I hope that people will understand. If you feel like I have neglected you, I want to be sure you know why.
On Sunday 10 May, I decided to write a book. A number of people have asked me to write it, and I believe I have a good message to share, so I decided to go for it. Since it was Mother’s Day, I did not begin the book that day, but rather I would begin on Monday the 11th. I decided to finish writing the book that week. That’s right, I wrote a book in a week! If you have ever written a book, you can surely understand how my days went. It was a big job, but I got it done. The reason I decided to write it in a week was to minimize the time I would be away from my social networks.
So the book is done? Well, not entirely done, but the initial writing is done. The book is now in a second round of editing, and it is all looking very good. I have two highly experienced editors combing through the book, and both of them have been very flattering to me. It should not be surprising that there is a whole lot more to producing a book than just writing the initial content.
What is This Book About?
The book is about practical use of Twitter and includes many tools for buliding relationships for both business and friendships. The title is “Twitter for Business: Twitter for Friends”. I feel very confident that this book will be a valuable resource for new and experienced Twitter users alike. I will provide a more in-depth review of the book soon.
When Does the Book Come Out?
I will let you know more very soon, but I anticipate having the book in print and available for sale within the next two or three weeks.
I Miss My Friends!
I miss my friends and the many engaging moments that we share. I promise to be back to my regular blogging, Tweeting, Facebooking, and etcetera, very soon! I hope that if you should choose to read my book, that it will make up for the time I have neglected you, and that you will forgive me. 🙂
