Use Follow Through to Increase Your Influence

Flakey is for Pie Crust, Not Marketing
Flakey is for Pie Crust, Not Marketing

I realize upfront that a lot of people do not want to address the topic of the things they neglect to do. It is uncomfortable to think about all the tasks that we forget, or put off until another day. Even the mention of it will probably make a lot of people think I am looking right down my finger at them. Don’t worry, this is not a message of scorn, because you are not the only one who is guilty of that thing you know you should have done but hoped nobody would notice or remember your failure to follow through.

Have you ever been stood up? Maybe it was a date, a business meeting, a telephone call, or many other possible ways that somebody did not follow through with what they told you. Do you remember how that made you feel? I can tell you that it is one way to end up in my recycle bin, and I am not the only one who feels this way.

When people do not follow through on their words, it often becomes a personal matter. It is insulting. It can even strangely cause a sense of shame or guilt for the recipient, with thoughts like “Well, I guess I was not all that important to them.” More often, it will bring about a dismissal of the individual’s words, both past and present. It destroys trust, and in business, that is a tragic fate which often negates even the best marketing efforts.

This topic comes up in my business and personal life once in a while, and the person I discuss it with is my wife. We have operated businesses for decades, and we have each encountered liars, cheats, and thieves on multiple occasions. We have also encountered a lot of people who are not quite classified as horrible, but rather what we call “flakey”. You do not have to look very hard to find flakey people. They are the ones you look at with a cautious eye when they tell you something that will require them to take action beyond the moment at hand.

Losing Influence is Easy

There are a squillion examples of what I call “flakey”. I’ll give you a quick example, but it can be far more subtle. In this example, it is the customer who lost influence and trust. I make this point because it can go both ways, and we each determine our own individual influence which we carry everywhere we go.

My wife and I own a thriving cakes and confections business. Mad Eliza’s Cakes and Confections has become quite a hit in our town, and I have found that cakes are about the easiest thing to sell that I ever brought to market.

Somebody recently placed an order for custom cupcakes from Mad Eliza’s and expressed urgency to pick them up at a specific time on Halloween Day for a party he had scheduled. The time came and went, and that afternoon, my wife rang him on the telephone. He quickly blurted “I’ll call you back in just a minute.” Did he call? No. Did we have some nice Halloween-themed cupcakes to hand out to friends that day? Yes, we did, and people loved them.

Being “flakey” in this case involved a blatant lie, right? Well, probably, but we cannot be so sure. Maybe he was in a terrible accident with a hair dryer and a bathtub. We do not know the whole story, but what we do know is that the lack of follow through took this person down a few notches on our “listening scale”. This guy clearly lost influence. He may not ever need any influence, but what would it look like if I saw him in the waiting room of a friend’s business applying for a job? Stranger things have happened!

With the massive popularity of social media, there is an even more profound importance of doing what you say you will do. People talk about things they find distasteful. Although you may think that lacking the integrity to follow through on simple tasks may not be conversation-worthy, you can bet that if your name comes up, there will be significantly less excitement for somebody to say great things about you. If lack of follow-through becomes a common problem within your company, even with “insignificant” tasks, it can destroy your influence. In more extreme instances, you can end up looking horrible when somebody searches for your company name.

Increasing Influence is Easy, Too!

Trust is a tricky thing. I wrote about the topic of building trust a while back, and it included some good food for thought. The article was titled “Building Trust Comes First in Business, But How?“.

Influence has a lot to do with trust, but influence can also be relatively easy to build if you do what you say you will, even when it seems insignificant to you. Being consistent and always following through with even the “little things” can build up over time.

About a decade ago when my company, YourNew.com, was new, I asked my wife and business partner what made us different. I was trying to distill what would set us apart and make our company great. She had a nearly immediate and very definite answer. She told me “I can sum it up in a single word … Integrity! That has always stuck with me, and I think of it every time I tell somebody I will call them back, email something, meet for coffee, or anything else when there is an opportunity to let somebody down by not following through.

I am certainly not a saint, but I try really hard to make a priority of keeping my word, regardless how trivial a matter may seem to me. It may matter a lot to somebody else. I hope that you will try hard, too.

Do you have an example of follow through building your confidence in a person or a brand? Do you have examples of it destroying your confidence? Please share your thoughts.

Photo credit to DigiDi via Flickr

Building Trust Comes First in Business, But How?

What Would Honest Abe Say?
What Would Honest Abe Say?

I was recently referred to a businessman by a few mutually trusted acquaintances. In total, three different people have come to me suggesting that I could help this man to grow his business. Each of these three people are involved in his personal and professional life in different ways, and each carries a different level of trust. It all got me to thinking a lot about the importance of trust, and what a role it has in business relationships, personal relationships, and how they overlap.

I thought of the trust others had placed in my work and my integrity, and I thought about ways trust is conveyed to others. How to build trust is a tricky topic, at best. There are many factors involved, and it is different to each person. I do not have all the specific answers for this, but here are a few things that came to mind for me. I hope you will enjoy the food for thought.

The First Step to Selling is Trust

The way this really came to me was when the man I was referred to set aside time to meet with me. We will be meeting for the first time tomorrow morning. I asked him how much time we could set aside to visit, because I am often long winded and wanted to know what to expect. I told him that I am not a “pitch man” and that an “elevator presentation” really does not give justice to the work I do. Ironically, a lot of my job has to do with building trust, but I do that online, through branding and delivery of consistent value. In this case, I don’t have a lot of time.

He is a bit cramped for time, so I thought of ways I could present the most important facts right upfront. I considered the specific facts, figures, and projections I could make for marketing his business better. I thought of the “silver bullet” to how I can bring him success with his online marketing. I guess I could just give him the facts, and maybe he would trust those facts … real facts, real numbers, real proof. You can see why I am not a pitch man, right? Yes, I agree … I am not a salesman. He has probably heard all of that before, or if he did the right research, he could certainly ascertain facts, figures, and proof of the things I would tell him.

Once I got to thinking a little deeper about what this man really wants to hear and believe is me. If I do not have his trust, nothing I say will matter … even the best information will be pointless. I could prove how much I know about the Internet, and how I create great visibility to a company. I could show him big profit gains by having a better marketing message. I have that proof on my side, but if I relied on proof alone, it will just fly right on by and at the end of the meeting, we will have both wasted our time. So the challenge is really in how to earn just enough of his trust that he will want to know more … and believe it once I do give him the facts.

Building Trust in an Distrusting World

I started thinking about factors of building trust online. We only have seconds to earn that little bit of trust that makes people want to know more … and believe in us. If we get just a tiny piece of their trust … enough to want to know more, we may get somewhere. Otherwise, we are shot down and we have nothing to show for it. On the Internet, that generally comes with a nice professional looking website, but why? If somebody sees a great website, it is less likely that they wasted their time and money just to throw it all away by trying to rip you off. It conveys some sense of authority.

When I considered this in the offline world, it didn’t really translate so well. Sure, we know that the numbers prove that good looking people earn more money. That is true, but being good looking does not break the trust barrier. There has to be more!

Rapport: Finding Common Threads

I thought of things I know about this man. I guess we could talk about cigars. He likes cigars, too. People like people with common interests. Maybe we could talk about my auto racing … everybody likes fast cars, right? Here is in-car video of me qualifying 7th of 77 at Road America with a top speed of around 170 miles per hour … who wouldn’t like that?! No, this is going nowhere. Rapport, or finding common threads is fine. It can make somebody feel a little more comfortable, but it still does not fill the trust gap. What is the answer? I really want to know.

Honesty and Sincerity: If You Mean it They Can Tell

This is something I guess I have always really tried hard to do. I mean, if you could see the look on my face, you would really know that I mean what I say. I have always been one of those guys who will tell people my sincere thoughts over and above telling them just what they want to hear. I am simply not a schmoozer, and I have always felt like my sincerity and willingness to polarize an audience with what I really think and feel has been an asset to me. Being honest even when it is hard is something I think my father spanked into me at a very young age, and I have been very successful as a result of honesty. It has also caused a few hardships, but it is overall my greatest gift. Some people have a good gauge for honesty, but some do not, so it still does not fill the trust gap. What’s next? There has to be something … some good answer that will make the big difference in trust.

Time and Familiarity Builds Trust … You Trust Grandma, Right?

Maybe grandma is not a perfect example for you, but in general, time and familiarity builds trust. I trust my grandmother implicitly. Over time, people observe others actions and intentions, and with experience, they learn whether they can trust somebody. Time and familiarity are huge factors in trust, but in business, we often only have a moment. Busy business people often do not have time to build trust, either from the buyers’ perspective, or the sellers’ perspective. I have put off sales representatives for over a year before. In fact, one of my largest suppliers took over a year to earn my trust, but I have been a large client to them for over eight years now. Today, that is unlikely to happen, because postponing good business decisions during a recession can sink a company fast. Besides, how many companies will really take the initiative to build trust with you the way this sales rep who called me once a week for a year did?

Referrals Convey Trust

I have written about the value of referrals, and how they can help a business. They shorten the trust gap, because when somebody you trust vouches for somebody else, some of the trust is conveyed. In my case, it seems that about every time I give a business referral, I get a call from the person I referred to say thank you. I guess it happens for two reasons. I am selective, and before I will refer somebody to another business acquaintance or friend, I want to know that they are a good match. When I give a referral, I will convey a huge lot of my influence to be sure that the two parties (referral and referred) will do business together. I almost find myself a bit offended if I give a whole-heartedly earnest referral to somebody and they go elsewhere. It is because I gave a huge piece of my trust, and when my trust is wasted, I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit.

I have a large collection of reference letters and kind words people have written about me over the years. I could give him a nice leather bound copy of reference letters to show I am trustworthy, but even that is not a perfect answer. There is still more to it than just this … a lot more.

What About the Jaded?

I told my wife I was thinking about and writing about trust. I asked her if she trusts me. I already knew the answer. She clearly trusts me like none other. She trusts me as a husband, father, and provider. Then I asked her how to build trust, and she said “it depends on how jaded the person is.” That makes sense, and it reminded me of something I wrote in one of my books, “Living in the Storm” in the chapter titled “Wins and Losses of Cynicism”. Perhaps we just can’t reach everybody, and some people will just distrust everything. It has to do with the individual’s experiences, and sometimes their own trustworthiness and intentions. It is a lot harder to trust somebody if you have been jaded, or do not feel trustworthy.

A Summary of Trust

I cannot tell you in a single blog article what it takes to build trust. I know, that would be great if I could. One thing I can tell you is that in my job as an Internet marketing consultant, if you are not doing things to convey trust among your marketplace, you are not looking far enough ahead. Trust is a key factor in doing business, online or offline, and the sooner you start, the better.

Building familiarity and authority within your marketplace is never a simple task, but if you never begin the process, you will not receive the benefits. Online social networking is a good start.

I did not come up with all the answers for my meeting tomorrow, but I know that his confidence and trust in me will play a vital role. I hope that my knowledge, history, integrity, and the trust conveyed by others will help.

What do you think? I would enjoy hearing your thoughts on trust. If you are a subscriber to my blog, why did you trust my opinions enough to subscribe? If you are a regular visitor, why do you come back? Does trust play a role in that? My guess is yes.