9 Bloggers Who Teach the Value of a Strong Blog Community

Bloggers Who Understand Community
Bloggers Who Understand Community

There are some blogs I feel bad to neglect, yet delighted when I make time for them. They are the blogs where I intend to be more active, and I want to share some of those with you. These are blogs by people who truly understand the many good reasons to blog, and they work hard to be useful to their communities.

First, I want to explain a bit about why I am recommending these blogs, and how I think you can learn a lot from them. If you don’t have time read, just hit the play button (top of page) to flip on my podcast and skip right to the list.

Did you ever go to a blog and find that the other people there were actually communicating with you? I don’t mean just a short and pithy answer, but rather an actual conversation that takes place. I mean the kind of blog where you see the same people every time, answering questions, solving problems, sharing ideas, and actually conversing just like they would in a coffee shop, or over lunch.

I know some blogs like that, and I enjoy them very much. It is not only because of their topics, either … I enjoy the people. Of course, I don’t spend a lot of time with blogs about things which don’t interest me, but if these blogs were about termite ranching or how to grow poison ivy, I would still be there … time permitting. I learn from them, and on good days, they learn from me.

Tip: Acquaintances will come and go, but if people genuinely like you, they will not just watch you succeed. They will make you succeed!

Take a Lesson from These Blogs!

If you have ever wondered why your blog is not as active as you would like, as a community filled with familiar faces who subscribe and come back regularly to read your work, there is probably a good reason. If it is filled with stuffy language about your industry, it will make many people yawn. If it is packed with a bunch of “buy this now” language, it will make people feel like the vacuum salesman just arrived at the door.

News Flash: It is easy to throw you out and slam the virtual door on you. All it takes is a click! If you want to avoid that “click” of people throwing you out the door, I suggest doing some reading and participating. Yes, of course I want you to read every one of the 300+ articles in my blog archive, and I want you to share your thoughts on every last one of them. I also want to help you to meet others to inspire you, teach you, and keep you moving forward.

If you want to learn how to build a blog community where people come to read what you have to say, and to see what all their friends are up to, take a lesson from the blogs listed below. I am not listing them in a specific order, or even by their topic. I am lumping them together as blogs where you can meet and get to know great people … people you will probably like. In fact, if you like my blog, and if you like me, you will find a lot of similar thinking people in these blogs.

These are blogs where people interact, learn, and share ideas. Some of them represent overlapping service offerings, but they don’t compete … they collaborate. They are blogs where people come together, and not just to spam a link to their website, or wear people down by being a blog troll. They are blogs where the community is consistent, and where that kind of thing would be pinched off like a wet turd.

A couple of these may not have the highest level of community involvement, but in those cases, I listed them based on the people writing them, and their involvement elsewhere in blogs. I read these blogs and pay attention as much as time permits, and they are on my RADAR … right near the center.

How Do These Bloggers Do It?

I am an observant guy. In fact, it is an important part of my job to be observant. A commonality I see in these blogs is that they each have a lot of the same people. This makes it pretty obvious that it is not all just about the topic of a specific blog, but largely about the people. They meet and interact across many blogs, and it becomes very social. After all, this is social media we are talking about. So let’s be social, people!

You will see many of the same people commenting and interacting with each other at several of the links I will provide. It is not some kind of secret club with a membership application. The application is just to come and get to know people and not act like the new kid in town who has to prove that his bicycle is faster than the local kids. These are very real and human communities that represent the greatest value of online communications. They are about the people, and not about the technology that so many people treat the Internet as.

Why Building Your Blog Community Matters

Let’s look at this from a business standpoint. A lot of business blogs focus on how to get people to buy their stuff. They want brand recognition, and they want a return on their investment of blogging. That is the focus of a business … more business. A common, yet tragic result is that they overlook the even greater value in finding people who love, love, love them enough to recommend them to every friend, acquaintance, and complete stranger. Those other people are the ones you want buying your stuff!

Do you want to know why the friends, acquaintances, and complete strangers matter more? They add up … huge! There are multiple reasons, and I will give you some examples.

I will use myself for the first example. If you think you want to sell me something, just imagine how much more potential you have of selling your goods or services if you make me a fan and I spread it to the squillion people I encounter and who read my blog, my Facebook, my Twitter, and my honorable mentions of others. You don’t really just want to sell me something do you? Sure, maybe that is good enough if you are short sighted in your marketing, but the real value is in my community. If you grab my attention with your community, my community becomes your community. Now doesn’t that sound nice?

Neglecting and Irritating vs. Cultivating and Nurturing

Now, to snap you into a seriously messed up potential reality, consider what happens if you are doing this all wrong. How tragic it is if, instead of making me a fan, you creep me out. Maybe you come and lurk around my blog, and maybe even get comfortable enough to spam my readers.

What if you never took the time to know more than just that my blog ranks really highly for a squillion different industry terms, and you want to throw your name and website link in my comments. Consider the example of a company that does not comprehend the value of community, or how to work with others. I made a case study of a company called “Suture Express“. Search Google for Suture Express (Google search) if you don’t already know that story. I hold roughly half of the top 10 listings on Google for their company name and the names of each of their corporate officers. Trust me, it is not the stuff that helps companies sell more, but it is what happens when companies get SEO and social media all wrong, and ignore the value of building their network, and working within a community.

It is my community that slaps the piss out of companies who cheat, lie, and spam. Companies such as Suture Express and Ray Skillman Auto Dealerships simply cannot match the power of a community.

Why do I tell you this? Because it shows the value of community, and the value of having more people who know you, like you, and defend you than you have people who are indifferent, or even despise your brand.

What if They Say You Are an Awesome ‘Possum?

Next, I want you to consider how much more valuable it is for somebody else to say you are awesome than when you say you are awesome. As an example, I will say it right now … I am awesome! I am awesome like sex, bacon, and a cold grape soda. Awesome is my job. In fact, my new mantra is this: “My job is to create marketing as awesome as sex and bacon. Even when I fail, it is at least as good as ham and a hand job.”

Fine, some people will believe it if you say you are awesome. Some people will do the research to see that it is true, but there is still a much better way!

Now consider how valuable is it if somebody else says “Mark is awesome!” It kind of sounds more valuable then, right? There is an implied credibility when it comes from a third party. I hope you get the point.

Stop Playing Opossum, and Be More Awesome
Stop Playing Opossum, and Be More Awesome

Is Your Blog Community a Waste of Time?

When you hear words like “blog community”, it may seem like a completely crazy concept. It may almost sound impossible, or a complete waste of time. Where does it begin? Where do those bloggers meet all these great people?

Building your community will not happen very efficiently if you are just sitting there staring at your own blog waiting for people to come and add their comments or to send their friends. It will happen when you get out of your shell and make time to meet people elsewhere. Spamming your blog to anybody and everybody will not help, either. I could write a squillion page dissertation on that formula for failure. Here is some thought candy on the topic for you to consider: “How to Comment on Blogs and Why You Should (or Should Not)“.

The SEO lies you may have heard will not help you, either. Good SEO (search engine optimization) happens when people such as some of the ones listed below whip out their keyboard and say the equivalent to “Mark is Awesome” about you.

Awesome Bloggers Who Attract Other Awesome People

If you want somebody to say that you are awesome, you had better get started building a community. I said I have some blogs to list, and I don’t plan to let you down. Here are some good people to learn from. Watch them, get to know them, and meet the great people who contribute to their blogs. Find out why I took the time to commend them. If you do that, you will better understand the value of reaching out of your shell, and why building a community by participating instead of siting like a bump on a stump is worth every bit of the effort.

Ingrid Abboud’s Nitty Griddy Blog

Ingrid Abboud
Ingrid Abboud

Ingrid Abboud (a.k.a. Griddy) shows many signs of being nothing short of awesome. She is a great connector of like-minded people, and deserves the description I once gave her of “sweet, silly, and super smart”.

In a recent version of Ingrid’s “Superpost Sunday Weekly Roundup“, the blog is compared to Central Perk from the hit television show, Friends. It really is that kind of a place where all we need is Gunther the barista to bring coffee and we are all set. Do you make a great cup of coffee? Read this blog and find out why it is loved by many, and nobody is a stranger.

Erika Napoletano’s Redhead Writing

Erika Napoletano
Erika Napoletano

Erika Napoletano is a witty, intelligent, outspoken blogger who is a bit aggressive by some measures. I like her. In fact, I like her a lot.

Erika recently landed a gig writing a business column for Entrepreneur Magazine, and her rants draw people to communicate, for better or worse … usually better. You can give her a hard time about how loose she is with dropping the F*bomb, but she knows how to bring a crowd to their feet.

Considering that she is the author of “The Bitch Slap”, there should be little wonder about Erika’s free spirited style.

Mark Harai’s Blog: Define. Imagine. Master. Execute.

Mark Harai
Mark Harai

Mark Harai is a great guy. He lives in Costa Rica and, I’m not sure if he knows it yet, but I die just a little more every time he is on a beach while it snows here in Kansas.

Mark is the father to a squillion kids (actually just seven), and he is one of those guys you just know this kind of stuff about … because you like him. His likability sets him apart from others, and his blog consistently offers up thought provoking articles about business growth and better human relations.

When I find more time to break away, I will meet up with Mark for a tour of his local beaches. For now, we have the Internet.

John Falchetto’s Expat Life Coach

John Falchetto
John Falchetto

John is very active with several of the blogs in this list, and a heck of a cool guy. Here is his take on being active within the communities he supports: “Why commenting isn’t for you“.

If you can’t like a guy like John Falchetto, your problems are much worse than blogging.

One day, when I make it back to France, or he makes it here to USA, we will go and enjoy a day at the gun club. Until then, we will enjoy our two-way communications across multiple blogs we each frequent, as well as Twitter, Facebook, and anywhere else I can track him down.

Mark Schaefer’s {Grow} Blog

Mark Schaefer
Mark Schaefer

I have made a number of interesting trips to Mark’s blog, and I am a bit guilty of lurking without jumping in with my comments. I am not sure why this is the case. I am doing the same thing I wish people wouldn’t do with my blog (keep their thoughts to themselves).

We have a lot of the same friends, and I hope to get to know Mark more and become more active at his blog. A recent visit turned up this article titled How do you REALLY build a blog community? A love story.

If you like my community, I think you will like Mark’s as well.

Gini Dietrich’s Spin Sucks

Gini Dietrich
Gini Dietrich

This is another of those people, and blogs that I am a bit ashamed to neglect. It is all my fault, but it is on my “To Do” list, and blinking away on my RADAR.

Have a look at this recent article titled Executives and the Ostrich Syndrome It is so sickeningly familiar to me that I didn’t even know how to reply … but I plan to … when I stop procrastinating.

Spin Sucks … and Gini knows it! Check her out and find out why I respect her work.

Ruhani Rabin’s Technology, Lifestyle, and Interestingness

Ruhani Rabin
Ruhani Rabin

Ruhani does not blog as much as he used to, but I like him, and I like his style. I have to give him a serious shout out here, because of his active participation across multiple social media channels. He has built a community that sticks with him wherever he goes, and whether he blogs often or not.

What do I really think of Ruhani? Well, I can say this: Ruhani is one of only a few people I put on the back cover of my 2009 book “Twitter for Business: Twitter for Friends“, and not just because he said something nice about me.

It seems very appropriate that Ruhani is VP of the company that created “Friendster” (friendster.com), because he sure knows how to make friends. Ruhani Rabin is one of the most friendly guys with a blog you could ever know.

Marcus Sheridan’s, The Sales Lion

Marcus Sheridan
Marcus Sheridan

Some call him Mufasa. Actually, maybe only Griddy (Ingrid Abboud) calls him that, but most call him Marcus. I don’t directly communicate with Marcus very much. I am not sure just why that is the case. I hope it is not because I gave HubSpot a harsh review once upon a time. I know he is pretty tight with HubSpot.

We bounce into each other on a lot of the same blogs, and we have a lot of mutual friends and acquaintances. I read his blog, time permitting. I kind of feel like I know him. That is a mark of a blogger who “gets it”.

Here is a recent article by Marcus about building a blog community: “Massive Blog Growth: Do You Really Have the Time it Takes?

Jim Rudnick’s Canuck SEO: Canadian SEO for Google Success!

Jim Rudnick
Jim Rudnick

Jim Rudnick is one of those guys who soaks up information like a sponge. He is an “old-timer” like myself, who has been in the SEO business since most search engine optimizers were in diapers, eh?

Of course, with Jim being a Canuck, he feels more comfortable if you end each sentence with an “eh?” You know, because that’s what they do up there in Canada, eh?

Jim is active across many channels of social media, outside of his own blog, and because of that, I think it would be awesome to see Jim’s own community at Canuck SEO grow like a weed. Jim gives more than he takes, and you can find a lot of great blogs just by keeping a close eye on him.

Here is a recent article by Jim: “Affiliate Scams: I Must be Lost!” Stop by and say “hi, eh?”

My Summary:

I don’t read every article from every blog I subscribe to. I also sometimes forget to subscribe to some of the blogs I encounter. I have found many great blogs over the years, and I simply cannot read and respond to everything on the Internet. I try my best to keep up with the good ones, and I try to participate in the community, as my limited time allows. I will be working on this, and trying to give closer attention to these blogs. I hope that you will, too.

Now that you have the list, and I gave you some thinking points about working as a community, are you going to sit there like a bump on a stump, or are you going to kindly introduce yourself to my community of readers? You may just end up being the tenth blogger on the list. Go ahead … impress me!

Social Media Compared to Kids on a Field Trip

Future Bacon at the School Field Trip
Future Bacon at the School Field Trip


I recently attended a school field trip with my second grade son, and I heard social media on the school bus. As the kids boarded the bus, the sound of 40 kids filled the air. The driver gave them some “noisy time” before we hit the road, and they took full advantage of it.

Each kid had something to say, and when they felt they were not being heard, they each became louder. It really was a lot like social media in this respect. Nobody was being heard any clearer at a higher volume than when they were quiet, and the distractions made communication even less effective.

Once we were on the road, the kids screamed with excitement with each bump in the street. It was social media’s equivalent of Apple launching a new iPhone that could make an endless supply of bacon magically materialize.

Mooooooo Said the Baby Calf
Mooooooo Said the Baby Calf
The parallels between the sound of kids and social media were numerous, but one that stood out was the kid who quietly raised his hand and asked for a teacher’s attention. He was the first to get the attention.

A few of the other kids learned that simply leaning close and speaking quietly was the best way to reach their intended audience. Then, if it was something really important or interesting, the message would spread across the bus, from one row of seats to the next. It actually worked as easy as that, and it formed a great picture of how social media works.

When everybody is making noise, sometimes all it takes is a well-placed whisper to make a greater impact than screaming into the masses.

The field trip was to a farm expo, where the kids learned about where their food comes from, and the many important tasks of farming. There were hundreds of kids attending from schools all across town. It was the responsibility of the volunteers and teachers to help them enjoy the trip, learn, and then deliver each of them back to the correct school.

Kids are very social creatures, and they love to mingle. Keeping our school’s group where they belonged, and holding their attention on the course was a bit like herding cats. The best way to reach them was often just as we had seen on the bus. Simply tapping them on the shoulder, giving them a bit of friendly instruction, and encouraging others to follow their example worked exceptionally well.

The Field Trip Was Fun and Educational for All
The Field Trip Was Fun and Educational for All

By the time we returned to the school and disembarked, I realized that even as they grow up, some of them will understand the value of a well-placed whisper, and others will just keep trying to scream across the bus.

Some of the kids joined in with existing conversations, and added to them productively. They were given opportunities to communicate and share their perspectives. Sometimes the conversation even went right where they wanted it to.

Other kids screamed to create their own conversations, but a frequent outcome was that they only added to the noise. They were not talking about things the other kids wanted, and they were a distraction to the others as they tried to force their topic.

I hope you can see the similarities, and that you will be encouraged by the lessons of these second graders. For me, it emphasized that one is never too old to learn, nor too young to teach.

What do you think? Do you see how we can all learn from a second grader?

They Pay for Awesomeness, and Nothing Less!

Helpful Awesomeness is What They Want!
Helpful Awesomeness is What They Want!

People ask me all the time, for ideas about how they can make their business better, stronger, and more profitable. They want to know what will convince more people to spend hard-earned money with their company.

I usually have some useful tips for them. I love to help, and I enjoy the look on their faces when they say “Why didn’t we ever think of that?” It is even more adorable when they call me to tell me that they implemented the tip and it is working for them.

It feels great to be helpful, and it keeps me sharp with new ideas. It is also why I write this blog, and why you see my direct phone line at the top of every blog post with the statement “I am always ready for a brainstorm. Call me at *REDACTED DUE TO AGING WEBSITE*.”

One of my best tips, in a single word, is “Awesomeness”. I will explain this, and how you can create greater awesomeness for your customers.

Being Helpful Grows Awesomeness!

I want to explain a principle that may seem scary to some people, but it is one which has served me very well in life, and in business. It requires patience and practice, but it has never failed me in the long-term. In order to explain it best, I will use my own experience. I could explain it in some fancy theoretical terms, but this comes from real life … my real everyday work.

It is my job to provide answers for improving companies and making them more marketable. I do a lot of my work free of charge. Well, at least I try very hard to blog about it in ways that people can use it. I’d call that work, so yes, I do a lot of my work for free.

Since I only work with a very small number of clients, and because a company has to be pretty serious about their marketing to hire my services, I make many efforts to help others without digging into their pockets. Don’t worry, it is not some kind of Jedi mind trick (video reference), and I am not selling something here. Being helpful gives me good karma, mojo, luck, or whatever you want to call it.

Being helpful is a principle that is used in abundance by successful companies, and successful people. You really don’t have to look around very hard to see this in action. It is a principle that is even more important when applied to the Internet, and I’ll tell you why. When it comes to Internet dealings, people have a very strong filter for noise. I wrote about this a while back, in an article titled “Will Your Social Media Noise Withstand 2011 Filtering?” They are also commonly very skeptical. There is a lot of “crap” on the Internet to overcome, as a consumer.

Many companies use blogs and other social media tools to be more helpful and interesting to their potential market. When they provide useful information, it brings attention to their brand. It is a means to express a company’s awesomeness and to put their helpfulness to work, and their company culture on the front line. There are many good reasons for companies to have a blog, in fact, I can offer you 10 really good reasons to blog.

I could stop right here, but I just told you this as a preface for the real point of this article. You can stop here, add your comments, tweet it, Facebook it, blog about it, and etcetera, but there is more! Yes, it is lengthy, but that is why there is a play button on my blog (at the top). If you don’t have time to read it, at least care enough about your business to push play and listen.

What Do They Pay For? That’s Right … Awesomeness!

The principle of being helpful is only one piece of success, but a huge piece that a lot of companies totally neglect. Somebody has to pay for all of that helpfulness, or the company would go broke. So, a lot of companies are left with a question of who will pay for that? Can you believe it? Companies actually treat it as a “dilemma” of whether it is a good idea for them to be helpful. This is why I find that even when they are helpful, they seldom make it to “awesome” status.

Awesomeness Creates More Business
Awesomeness Creates More Business

The reason I mentioned this principle of being helpful is because I want you to pay attention without thinking I am here to sell you something. Call it a bonus, and whatever you do, please try to implement that tip. Be helpful … It is for your own benefit!

Now I am going to tell you what people actually pay me for, and explain ways you can benefit from it without having to pay me. Come to think of it, this may not go just right, but I am pretty sure I am not obsolete quite yet. In any case, I want you to use this for your own gain.

This May Not Be Awesome, But it is Helpful!

As a marketing guy, a huge amount of my work is not focused on helping companies with the obvious marketing task of getting their name in front of more people. Does that sound strange? It probably sounds totally crazy to a lot of people. In fact, you may be wondering, “Where in the heck do you find these idiots who pay you, Murnahan?” Yes, I am paid by aliens from another planet … but they are very successful Zarkmobians from Planet Narburloid.

It is true, though, because a significant amount of my work involves making them more marketable. That means digging into who they are, as a company. They pay me to develop a strong understanding of who they are, and to uncover what makes them more like sex, bacon, and other things people love. My job is to get a solid grasp on their “awesomeness” by viewing the culture of the company from a unique perspective. With this, it is my responsibility to create their best marketing strategy.

You can get a better picture of your awesomeness by talking to people. Ask people you respect. Ask people you don’t respect. Ask people who buy from you. Ask people who don’t buy from you. Ask without a word, by researching your market, and uncovering the real forces that drive your market. Ask a lot of questions, and pay careful attention to the answers. This will help you to discover your best customers!

Discovering the Model Customer

Once I know a company’s best assets (their awesomeness), I can begin the research to build a perfect model of their customers. Knowing the right audience is extremely important, especially if you want a return on your marketing investment. I wrote about this a couple times recently, and I hope you read those articles. I will add some links below, but if you are not a subscriber, do it now … it is free. I will say it again, though … ask a lot of questions, and pay attention to the answers. Below are some links to help you with your customer modeling, but note that they will only help you if you use them!

Shotgun Marketing is Not Awesome!
Shotgun Marketing is Not Awesome!

How Does the Company Fit Into the Market?

After the ideal customer models are in place, I can accurately direct my clients as to how they fit into their marketplace. Then, I can also provide steps to better adapt to their market. This is when the real awesomeness is unleashed. It is completely different for every company, in every industry.

If you do not know your competition, you probably don’t know your market very well. You need to know your market before you can even begin to get ahead. If you learn the forces working against you, it will be a whole lot easier to overcome them.

Spend some time knowing your market, including your competition. Most companies do a terrible job of this, so it is like low hanging fruit for you. Pick it!

Producing Awesome is Not Easy!

Most companies simply cannot see their business clearly from a marketability standpoint, and it becomes their Achilles heel. This destroys many companies.

Achilles Marketing Heel
Achilles Marketing Heel

Even when they think they have a good grasp on their “awesomeness”, most companies do not express it very well. I have said a lot about good reasons to blog, and good uses for social media. None of it centers on the use of destructive interruption marketing.

The challenge here is to present your company in a way that it is appealing to the customer, based on what they want, instead of just what the company wants.

I return to the principle of being useful. Most companies, including your competitors, will not have the required patience to be useful and give their customers a reason to buy from them. Many will just hope to flash a sale price and scream their selling message, but only a relatively few will put aside the selling enough to understand what will inspire buying.

Most companies (yes, most) will choose to skip the important research. It is not easy work, and it bores a lot of people to tears. It becomes too much hassle to actually build their understanding of the customer. For a lot of people, it would be cruel and unusual punishment just to finish reading this article, not to mention actually implementing the suggestions.

Here is where the punishment really pays off: If you understand your customers’ motivations to buy, and address it properly, they will tell each other. Your job becomes a lot easier.

Delivering Awesomeness to The People

Once the marketability factors are perfectly in place, it is a whole lot easier to deliver it to the people. Delivering something marketable to the people is simple! Have you seen how many amazing tools there are for delivering a good message to people? Just think of the first ones that come to mind. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Google, blogs … and the list goes on.

You want some awesome? Check this out! Here is some unsuspecting awesomeness for you. They didn’t seem all that amazing to me at first, but you would probably never believe me if I told you how many times these made my phone ring. These are just a couple of many examples, but the articles below make a good point.

How To Become Popular on Twitter Without Actually Being Useful

Social Media and The Absurdity of Implied Reciprocity

So you must be asking, “How did these make the phone ring?” It was because those little pieces of awesomeness made people think. They made people laugh. They compelled people to share them with others, and they created a squillion new links to my blog. Bonus Points: They were also extremely relevant to my industry.

Those links enhance my SEO (search engine optimization), and reflect credibility to search engines by showing popularity. That credibility helps everything else I write about to rank higher in search engines. That is how SEO works! This matters far more than the mechanical approach to SEO. The trick is to be awesome as often as possible, or at least as a high percentage of your efforts.

Are you getting it yet? A little bit of awesome carries a long way. I don’t make “awesome” happen every time, and you will not either. I know when it is needed, how to do it, and why it matters. That comes with practice, so start practicing!

How much more can I say? I gave you a lot of good links within this article, and I did not include a single one to waste your time. I just gave you tools to learn and implement excellent marketing. I hope I have encouraged you to take the same approach of researching your market and to provide value to your potential customers.

I suggest that you give in order to receive. As an example that I mean what I say, I am giving $5,000 just to receive an introduction to somebody interested in paying for my services. That pretty well covers the “awesome” and the “helpful” in my book.

Of course, companies pay me for a lot more than what I included here. If you have the time to exercise your patience, and put some practice to use, you will find a whole lot more free assistance in my blog archive. I do it to be useful, and that works for me. I believe it will work for you as well.

I will allow you this moment to practice being helpful and awesome. This is your chance to add your helpful comment, and share how you apply these principles, or how you feel you could do better. If you want to get outrageously helpful, give this a tweet, a Facebook like, a stumble, a digg, or whatever it is that you do to share helpful things with others.

Social Media Express: Avoiding The Social Media Train Wreck

Social Media Train Wreck
Social Media Train Wreck

Social media is more than just a little bit special to me. Perhaps, if you have been using social media for a while, you feel this way, too. I have lived with my Internet connection close by my side for many years, like a good friend. Just like any longtime friend, it has changed. It has built me up, and it has let me down.

Social media has helped me to meet many wonderful people that I never would have met elsewhere. Those people include some of my closest friends of the last 15 years, and even my wife and mother of our three children, whom I met back in 2000. I think a lot of people can relate to how I feel about this special part of my life where I laugh, learn, and spend many hours working.

I still cherish many memories of times when social media was simpler. I guess it must feel kind of the way my 94 year old grandmother feels when she recalls her earlier days. The pace was more manageable, and people would still wave from their window in a train, and take more time to visit with the passengers around them.

Today, I want to encourage you to slow your social media train to avoid a crash. Yes, I said slow down … take your time. Read about one of the worst hazards of social media, and consider how you may avoid it.

Don’t Let Your Social Media Train Derail

Over the past few years, we invited the whole world to board the “Social Media Express”. It has created a time in our society which can adequately be termed “astonishing”. Now that the train is full, we all want to go somewhere, and get there fast.

Sometimes it seems that social media is like a runaway train with a huge payload of information and passengers just sitting there oblivious to the derail ahead of them. I have ridden this train to many derails, such as Yahoo! Groups that fell apart, and services that eventually phased out and friends lost communications. In cases where I looked far enough ahead, I could see it coming and warn my friends and we could slow the train down to resume our comfortable ride.

I feel very fortunate for the many people I met through social media and still communicate with regularly after teens of years. It took some effort to avoid the scattering effect of a train derailment, but it has been very worthwhile to me.

Social Media Derailed
Social Media Derailed

The big crash that I have emphatically warned people about is trying to “follow”, “friend”, “connect”, and etcetera, with excessive numbers of people with whom they never have any intention or ability to build a meaningful relationship.

I understand the huge urge for people to feel popular. I hear it all the time, even from people who have no real agenda to have a squillion connections, but just enjoy the appearance of being popular. If I had to point a finger at one single overriding challenge in social media, this would be it.

What so many people overlook is that having real communication and meaningful relationships with a smaller group who really listen to you or care about you is much more rewarding. This is true for both personal and business purposes, because it only takes about 150 people sharing something worthwhile to set it on a path to “viral” communication. Don’t try to argue this point with me, because I really will win this one.

Robin Dunbar Meets The Social Media Express

Have you ever heard of Dunbar’s Number? I will explain with a quote from Wikipedia:

“Dunbar’s number is a theoretical cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships.”

I watch people trying to push Dunbar’s Number to a breaking point every day. Once they run through each passenger car on the “Social Media Express”, they burn out and jump off the speeding train when they don’t get what they hoped for. They don’t pull the hand brake, they don’t say goodbye, and many of them will never board the train again. They broke their social media train.

I can certainly place a good amount of blame on the implied importance of somebody with a lot of “friends” in social media. After all, I must be more important if I have xxxxx followers on Twitter and xxxx friends on Facebook, right?

There is another big challenge created by the many desperate people producing deafening levels of static while trying so hard to become marketers. With enough of that static, it causes many people to build up stronger than ever communication barriers. This overheats the train’s brakes, and sends more than a few passengers jumping off between stations.

Can You Share in My Guilt?

Who Caused This Crash?
Who Caused This Crash?

I witness many examples of pending challenges in my own use of social media. For example, I tend to tune out a lot just in order to keep up with people communicating with me directly. I am always available to anybody on this Internet, but it takes a lot of effort to reach out and see what all of those people have to say. So I let them come to me. I have even found out shamefully late of people who died, because it took me a long time to make my rounds to their Facebook profile.

I do my best to put friends and interesting people into lists, and I try to keep up, but nobody is immune to the challenge of “keeping up”. Many of the people I used to hear from every day stopped participating in social media, because they felt burned out and like nobody heard them anyway. Twitter makes a profound statement in this area, and has a horrible churn rate. It is not just specific networks, either. Many bloggers have expressed concerns that although people are reading, their comments have diminished. I certainly see it here, as well. Even while my readership is consistently high, it seems that many people don’t want to discuss topics the way they used to.

Do Those Big Numbers Really Matter?

I have studied this dilemma for years, and I know the importance of reaching a lot of people. Sure, it may increase your odds, right? Well, the truth is that if those are not the right people, and they are just a number for the sake of numbers, your impact will not be proportionate with your efforts. When you see somebody with a lot of friends, followers, and whatever you want to call them, it generally happens for one of two reasons: They either sought a lot of people who were also looking for big numbers for the sake of numbers, or they earned those numbers by reaching an appropriate audience who cared what they have to say and pay attention. One method imitates popularity in order to appear important or to throw spam at the wall and hope it sticks, and the other method is to do something people care about and presenting it to the right people.

You Won the Social Media Game!
You Won the Social Media Game!

I recently looked at my Twitter followers to find that many thousands of them had not used Twitter at all in the last six months. I filtered them out by those who had not sent an update in the last 90 days, and found that for many of them it had been over six months. I unfollowed 1,000 of them, which were mostly just nameless and faceless to me, and then I stopped. I realized that it was a waste of time to keep sorting through the graveyard of fallen Twitter users. I had only followed them in the first place because they had followed me, so I don’t feel some huge loss of a close friend.

Back before it became so popular to try and follow everybody under the sun, I used to see a huge value in Twitter. I liked it enough that I was asked to write a book about Twitter. I wrote it, and it was pretty good. I published it in July 2009, but I wish I had written it a few months sooner, before the Twitter graveyard started filling up.

Back in the good old days of social media, even as recently as Twitter, people paid attention to others. There were more conversations, and the conversations turned into friendships, and many times into business.

Today, I tweet something and it can sometimes seem to go unnoticed, even if it is totally hilarious or brilliant. Very few people respond, and almost nobody retweets things, compared to earlier years. Is it because they all hate each other, or is it because they simply went blind and only communicate if you go directly to them?

It is a tough call, but the numbers clearly indicate a speeding train.

Do You Slow Down and Say Hello Enough?

As a person who works and socializes here in this social media world, I have sometimes wondered “Is it me? Did I do something that changed things? Did I contribute to the extra hustle and bustle?” I really don’t think so, but I always try to keep myself in check.

I still find great value in many areas of social media, and it is still a very good place to make friends, build relationships, and produce new business. In fact, far better than any other, but it requires greater effort than ever before. It is not as easy as it used to be, and it can be more challenging than earlier years. It sometimes makes me wonder if I hadn’t been in my industry for so many years, what it would look like to me today. I have watched it evolve, and I have evolved with it nicely, but for somebody new here, I think it could get pretty overwhelming, and lose its luster quickly.

The Social Media Train is Human-Powered

I have written volumes of thoughts on the human aspects of our technical world. I write it in books, blogs, and I talk to groups about the importance of the real human communications that social media is so great for.

We control the pace of the train we are on, and the direction it travels. There are no rails, and plenty of great people and places to see. I only hope that more people will enjoy the ride, consider the people, stop running from car to car seeking more people to irritate with bad marketing, and avoid the train wreck.

Human Powered Train
Human Powered Train

Here is just a small selection of things I have said to try and caution others, and help them become more cognizant of the people around them. The longer list is found throughout my blog archive and in my books. I would not say these things if I didn’t mean them, and can stand behind them.

A Story from My Social Media Train Car

Something slowed my train nicely a few days ago. As I was unfollowing that 1,000 people on Twitter, as I mentioned, I came across several old friends who had dropped off the face of Twitter. One of them was Tom Roquemore, whom I met on Twitter a couple years ago. I like Tom, but he stopped using Twitter last October, and we hadn’t communicated since then.

Remembering good talks we had shared, I put him on my list of people to contact by phone. Before I even got around to calling him, my phone rang and it was Tom. We talked for a while and it was great to hear from him again. The timing was kind of uncanny, but we probably would have talked even sooner if our train was just moving a little slower.

How Does Tom Roquemore Affect My Social Media Train?

I have used social media, in one way or another, since before Yahoo! purchased GeoCities. That has been a long time, and I have seen a lot in those passing years. One thing that I have found to be the most valuable of all is to focus on a core group of the right people who really listen and feel strongly about the value you represent. That is where true and worthwhile popularity stems. It is like the initial spark of an explosion, and it starts very small. This holds true in the largest of all marketing campaigns, and in the smallest of groups. If you focus more on value over volume, your success and your enjoyment will be far greater. You just have to slow the train to recognize it, and find the truth in what I am telling you.

If some of you great people will slow down and add your comments here on my blog, maybe we could show others the start of a better habit. A habit of taking the time and effort to bring better communications back to social media, and not just rushing to the next thing that seems urgent.

Conga line image credit to fallingrock via Flickr

The Biggest Fallacy of Social Media: More is Better

Social Media Fallacy Unicorn
Social Media Fallacy Unicorn


I want to discuss the biggest fallacy of social media for a moment. It surrounds a tightly held misconception that many people will refuse to let go of, because somebody with perceived authority told them it is “how social media is done.”

It is made worse every day because of all the people who have the mentality that “if they are doing it, it must be OK.”

People often want examples to follow. It makes them more comfortable with their decisions. Sometimes it turns out just great, but it often leads to a whole lot of “imitation marketing” with horrible results. Didn’t your dad ever use the line about your friends and a cliff with you?

“If they were all jumping off a cliff without parachutes, would you just follow along with them?”
–Dad

Enough of the crescendo, let me explain this famously popular trap that has become the biggest fallacy of social media. Did somebody tell you that you need whole bunch of people to “follow” you, “like” you, and “friend” you? The odds are great that the person saying that is full of crap about other things, too.

The truth about the biggest social media successes, and in fact, the way that things actually become “viral” is quite the opposite from what it seems. It does not happen because of a huge number of followers, friends, and fans. Success happens because of thinking, creating, and doing something amazing enough that your dearest core group of true listeners, who care what you have to say, share it with emphasis. Before you even consider anything else, it is important to concentrate on the “amazing” part.

Who are those “core listeners” I am referring to? They are the people who like what you have to say, enough that they subscribe to your blog, follow you on Twitter, Like your Facebook page, and link with you on LinkedIn. They pay attention because they want to know what you have to share, and not because they just want you to add to their numbers. They are often great people to have as your friends, too!

This topic was inspired by a discussion on Mark Harai’s blog, in an article titled “How to Build Online Influence“. My comment there was as follows:

“It is absolutely true about the numbers. I have enough “followers” in some circles to properly seed a new landfill. Without bilateral communication, that is where those relationships are.

I even wrote a book that gave strong caution to the big numbers game of social media. People really want so badly to believe in big numbers, unless they have big numbers, and then they understand.

The mentality is not so unlike like desire for wealth. Many people want it badly but they use it unwisely if they get it.”

What most people do is called “conventional”. Convention is lazy, and conventional will not make you stand out! It is why “The Pareto Principle“, also known as the 80/20 rule, always holds true.

No, I am not that guy who will tell you that successful marketing is only about building relationships to make your social media marketing successful. It takes a lot of other things, too. If you want my “short list” of things that make social media marketing successful, go to my blog archive. The list includes 267 (often lengthy) topics I have written about. Not a single one of them says to get more followers, but many of them certainly do address the importance of relationship building.

Social Media’s Hardest Lesson to Learn

I have argued against the mentality that more followers is the key, but it seems that as with most other things, people just have to learn it for themselves. They learn it the hard way, just like people dying to win a lottery who are broke a year after they collect their squillion dollar jackpot.

If you just can’t stand it, and you need proof that I am right about this, let me show you some numbers: 24 28 45 49 52 2

Those are your Murnahan lottery picks for this week. That will be easier for a lot of people to understand and accept than what I would say about the horribly over-valued hype about big follower numbers. By the way, this is last week’s winning Powerball Lottery numbers. Maybe they will “hit” again, you never know!

If you really want to know what I think, I offer you these previous articles which address the matter.

Social Media is Not Just Who You Know … It’s Who They Know!

I urge people to remember that social media is not just about you, and who you know, or who follows you. I know very well that I can bore the heck out of some people with things they have no interest in. I also know which people will find value in things which I produce, and I know which ones may be a good match to connect with other people in my circle of friends and “core listeners”. My friends and “core listeners” know these things about me, too. It is called networking, and it trumps all that you may hear about having a massive number of followers.

All it really takes to make something extremely popular is about 150 people who are connected to you the way I have described. Ironically, and conveniently, 150 is also the number that is commonly referenced as Dunbar’s Number. If you can focus on those people, the rest comes down to simply having brilliance, and you probably have a lot more than you are using.

Social Media Backlash of Extended Reach

Social media is a funny thing. Most people can figure out the basics of how to use social media websites like Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, blogs, and the squillion others. A few can figure out how to use social media well, and enhance their business. A tiny fraction of those people will use social media in a way that does not irritate or offend somebody, somewhere, for some reason.

Yes, social media popularity has its drawbacks, and there will always be some people who hate you, just for breathing. I have often said that if I don’t get a death threat now and then, I must not be reaching enough people. Even the littlest things can set some people off, but it is not my job to make everybody happy. I just want to make a few of the right people happy. Would you believe I actually had a death threat come as a result of this humorous article titled “Hookers Write the Best Blogs“?

You don’t need “death threat” levels of popularity to get all that you want and need from social media … nobody does. You just have to concentrate on your core listeners, and the awesomeness you can create for and with them. Let the rest of it come into place naturally and those followers will come to your awesomeness like a Murnahan to a plate of bacon.

Photo credit to scorpio58 via Flickr