Social Media Self-Analysis: How Are You Being Influenced?

Who Influences You, and How?
Who Influences You, and How?


I think it is safe to say that some people are self-conscious when it comes to social media. After all, as an audience builds, it kind of takes on something not so different from public speaking. Many people are terrified of public speaking, and being on a stage where others can pick apart every nuance.

Scarier yet, social media is kind of like public speaking where everything you say is recorded so people can go back later and catch all of your screwups, point them out to others, and make a mockery of you.

Those public perceptions, especially the criticism, can change how you think, how you communicate, and how others will treat you. In fact, I believe that strong peer influences like this can create a profound impact for many people. Sometimes this is good, and sometimes it is bad.

I think it is also safe to say that there is another opposite end of this self-awareness spectrum where people have little or no consciousness at all. They really don’t care what others say, and they take little benefit from criticism or good advice. These are the people begging for you to follow them on Twitter, sending Facebook friend requests to everybody … from a business profile instead of a Facebook Page, and have an urgency to achieve over 500 connections on LinkedIn because if the profile says “500+” it will make them feel more important. They are the ones using tactics without a strategy, and may never understand the greater value of social media.

They don’t let criticism from others affect their actions, and they think it is all done in the name of marketing … which really irritates me. These are the people who will send you automated messages promoting their website that you have absolutely no interest in, and use their favorite keywords instead of a real name when they comment on your blog. It is almost creepy to even glorify it with a mention, but it has become a huge part of our online world.

Here are some examples of utter absurdities in social media that I have discussed, and I think each of them are worth a read. Other people thought so, too, and the reader comments are definitely worth attention.

Does Bad Influence Become More Acceptable En Masse?

We should question whether bad influence becomes more acceptable in large groups, or if it is just more tolerated. What we should be really clear about, though, is that it does not become more effective or useful.

Spam and other ineffective thinking is here to stay. As society has adopted social media as a preferred communication medium, we have each encountered even more spammers and atrocious thinkers than before. As social media begins to reflect an even more accurate cross-section of our world as a whole, the smaller thinkers and late thinkers come in greater abundance. A few will develop excellence, while the majority will try to slide by on the least possible effort. This is very well defined and quantified in the long-standing Pareto Principle, also known as the 80/20 rule.

This tends to affect us all, as we become more skeptical and we scrutinize things just a bit closer. Otherwise, in many cases, people just begin to believe whatever the masses (that 80 percent) tell them as they give up any “common sense” filter. After all, if the masses are saying that you need more Twitter followers, and you don’t already know any better … you must need more Twitter followers, right? It created a Twitter follower frenzy, and a similar frenzy is in place across other networks. It is absurd, but it is a strong reflection of where these people receive their influence.

As my father would sometimes question, “If everybody was jumping off a cliff without a parachute, would you jump, too?”

People Adapt to Their Surroundings

There is a whole lot of truth to judging people by the company they keep. I don’t care how hard you argue against this, it is a fact of life. If you spend enough time around people with a regional accent, you will likely develop an accent over time. If you consume bad information from small thinking people, you will begin to adapt to that, as well. People don’t even need to know the company you keep, because it is written all over you.

We Are All Influenced by Somebody
We Are All Influenced by Somebody
Fortunately, a similar type of influence occurs when you surround yourself with bigger thinkers, with better ideas. It is why some people try hard to leave a ghetto, while others settle in and join the gang.

I hesitate to imagine that the bad influences of social media are actually more influential than the more beneficial influences. However, what I can say for certain is that they are in much greater abundance, and can create a whole lot of noise.

The more tragic part yet is when the ones making the noise are the same ones I mentioned earlier that do not learn from criticism or good advice, because they don’t even hear it. It becomes a case of the blind leading the blind, and even helping to take away others’ vision.

Avoid Becoming a Schmuck!

Yes, I could rant on this kind of thing, but the question at hand is whether you give enough self-analysis to your online communications efforts. I think it is something valuable to consider, because it is what sets the tone of who you are, either as a person, or as a company.

Watching where you pick up your influence, and asking others’ opinions can be important to helping you avoid schmuckdom … or is it schmucknaciousness? It can also help you to avoid influencing others in a bad direction.

I was reminded of it today as I went through a list of new people following me on Twitter. I found myself making fast judgments about them, to decide if I should follow them back and get to know them. It all got me to wondering how I might look, on the surface, and before people get to know me. I was giving myself a cursory audit of sorts.

We often only have a brief moment to make an impression. I think it is important to be aware of those things we do which can tarnish that moment. It should not be so surprising that a lot of it can come from who we listen to and interact with.

I hope I have encouraged you to step back for a self-analysis. Try to imagine how others see you, and how much it is influenced by others. You may find that you are not making the best connections, or that you are accidentally imitating some of the wrong elements.

What do you think? Do you notice how the people around you affect how you think, and how you communicate?

Influence Can Do Strange Things
Influence Can Do Strange Things

Say “Hi” … It is a Great Conversation Starter

Hi is Fun ... Try it Out!
Hi is Fun ... Try it Out!


I have been reaching out to some friends today, and it reminds me just how simple, yet valuable, saying “hi” can be. Some days, the networker in me takes over and I make time for just saying “hi” to people.

I often look through my Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn connections and seek out their telephone number to call and say hello. It often surprises people that I called them, because in many cases they were just “online acquaintances” prior to my call. When they hear a friendly “hi”, it can break the ice and open the door for a more meaningful and memorable connection.

Sure, you could say that you just don’t have time for it. After all, when you break the barrier between the broadcast effect of social networking and enter a more personal networking space, it takes more time. You may only reach one at a time with “hi”, but isn’t it worth a try?

How important can this be? I am not offering return on investment figures for this, but I can certainly say that it has been beneficial to me in many ways. Sometimes I find that people are really pleased that I took the time to connect by voice, and other times they wonder how I got their number (Tip: A WHOIS search can be very handy). I have often been met with kind questions about how my wife and kids are doing, or about something I recently wrote. However, I have never been met with insult.

Stop Overlooking the Value of “Hi”

“Hi” is a basic essential of networking, and yet it is so easy to neglect when we get busy or rely too heavily on a broadcast mentality. Networking with others and being friendly with a simple “hi” can have some very unexpected benefits. If you don’t believe me, just try it.

I love helping people to find what they are seeking. Whether they are looking for friends, customers, a job, or pink ponies, I try my best to know the right people to refer them to. That is the networker in me, and I have always enjoyed being able to connect people. Of course, that means knowing them, first.

It can be extremely refreshing to reach out to others and learn more about them. It is a great way to learn what motivates them, and that can be very motivating. With an attitude of seeking what they want, and how you can help them find it, you may be surprised how receptive people can be. When it is done without self-seeking, it can create some unexpected results. It can also create some great friendships and business alliances … you never know.

It can all start by saying “hi”.

Try it out, and say “hi” to somebody today.

How Connected Are You With Your Social Networks?

I get a surprise every day with just how connected people are. Perhaps it should be no surprise at all. Networking with people is a big part of my job and my lifestyle, both online and offline, but it still amazes me on a regular basis. More amazing yet is that there are still ways to improve upon that connectivity. Here are just a few of my thoughts on the matter, and I welcome yours.

Being Interested Makes You Interesting

Consider how many times you have received a message from somebody on Twitter, Facebook, your blog, or elsewhere and found yourself reading over their latest news to be sure you are up to speed on their life. An amazing thing about social networking and life in general is that people who are interested immediately become more interesting. You can bet that if you add your comments on my blog, I am interested, and you have made another step to strengthening your network. Not only with me, but also with others who connect here. It is a perfect case of becoming more interesting by being interested.

I got to thinking about this as I added the meebo chat on my blog earlier today (over on the left side). It allows for people to start a direct chat with me. I did this because I am interested in what readers have to say, and I want to give them another option to reach me. Try it now by typing a message to me. I may just answer. It is pretty cool, and another way to be even more connected.

I think nearly every blog author wants to start a dialog, but some people are too shy to give their opinion in public, too lazy, or just don’t understand the benefits of blog commenting (like the conversation, or those extra incoming links to their Website). Whatever the reasons, a direct chat is another great connection tool.

OK, so now that you are more interesting, let’s look at how connected you are. Once you realize how connected you already are, it is easier to find ways to make it even better … and why!

Realize How Connected You Are

I keep finding that people know a lot about me. Some will call it “transparency”, and I am all about that. I try to be sure that people know who I am … just me, without any false hype. People like people, so I don’t try to be any more than that. Being genuine seems to be a huge benefit if you are trying to connect with people. Even if you do not think you are very interesting, you are plenty interesting to some people, just the way you are.

Now that you are interesting, look around and see how much people recognize you. They may be noticing you more than you think! Those people who find you interesting are the roots of your network. I will give you examples:

Just a couple days ago I was talking with my brother and he asked me about things I didn’t expect him to even know. He asked if my wife was upset that I uploaded a video of her karaoke performance. David is not all that technology oriented, and does not spend a lot of time on Facebook. However, he does have a Facebook account, along with about 350,000,000 other people. Even if he does not check his Facebook, his wife, kids, or somebody else who knows me may ask him about something relevant to my current life or even tell him something that I had mentioned in my social networks. I also hear similar things from people all around me who seem to know a lot about my daily life, and I know theirs. We are connected!

Another instance was when a long time friend contacted me earlier today to ask about book publishing. Since I wrote three books in 2009, I guess I seemed like a good guy to ask. We chatted for a while and I found that he also needed a printer, a picture framer, and some tips for his photography business. So I referred him to three different friends whom I know well and trust in their fields.  By recognizing the connections around me, I was able to help four friends … the one I was visiting with and the three I recommended.

As the conversation went on, he commented that I seem to know people in nearly any given line of work. I explained that I consider it my job to know everybody. It can do a lot of amazing things, both for personal and business purposes. Here is a piece I wrote about a year ago on building referral business.

I think networking should be a big part of everybody’s job. If your paying job is to change light bulbs on water towers, it may be good to know the guys who paint the towers in case the light bulbs ever stop burning out and you need more work. The tower painters may have work for you someday, or you may get busy and need more light bulb changers. The point is that it is always good to know where to find reliable people, and it is best to know them before you need them or they need you.

Here is the catch! How do you weigh the importance of quality vs. quantity?

Quality Over Quantity in Networking

Being connected with a lot of people is a great thing. Being closely connected is an even better thing. The importance of quality should be obvious, but it can also be easy to overlook or underestimate. Quantity is fine, but not without quality.

I got busy in 2009. In fact, I got real busy. I welcomed the birth of a son, wrote three books, and managed four new blogs, on top of an already busy job as CEO of YourNew.com, Inc. What I found was that as I became tied up in so many projects, some of my network became even tighter, while some of my network got kind of loose. Without a focus on quality in my network, it could have been a disaster.

A quality network remains solid, even when you are not looking. Like any relationship, some of your network will require more attention than others. Give them all attention, but the ones who reach out to you in return deserve a special focus. Good networkers know this, and will seldom let you down.

What do you think? How can you improve your network connectivity today? I cannot read your mind, but I can read your comments!