marketing Archives - Page 12 of 21 by Mark Murnahan

Social Media Rat Race: Avoiding Social Marketing Burnout

I surely cannot be alone in my thoughts when I reflect upon social media and the rat race it can sometimes represent. There are millions of people out there in our social networks who are trying so hard to be brilliant every day, in their respective industries and job roles. It can be really challenging to find the right balance between burning hot and burning out.

If I am the only person who feels that pressure of striking the perfect balance, I would be really shocked. On the other hand, if I am the only one who will admit it, there is little surprise. People are proud (often far too proud), and they don’t like to admit their weaknesses.

Some of you certainly must relate to the burn that keeps you “hot” in your social media efforts. Just like any fire, it takes fuel to keep it burning. When the fire rages, it takes more fuel. After a while of burning really hot, it is easy to run low on fuel and need to go chop some more wood. That means it is time to find new inspiration!

There should be little wonder why so many people burn out and give up on their efforts. I see it all the time, and I see it across many networks, and with individuals and companies of all sizes. It is really hard to be brilliant on a consistent basis, and it is even harder when you try to balance long-term objectives with short-term frustrations. This is true for individuals and groups alike.

How can you control this “fuel consumption” dilemma and keep your fire burning steadily? I may not have all the answers to your individual burnout challenges, but I can offer you some ideas. First, I would like to direct your attention to the term “Rat Race“ as it is described in Wikipedia. Here is a quote:

“A rat race is a term used for an endless, self-defeating or pointless pursuit. It conjures up the image of the futile efforts of a lab rat trying to escape while running around a maze or in a wheel. In an analogy to the modern city, many rats in a single maze expend a lot of effort running around, but ultimately achieve nothing (meaningful) either collectively or individually.”

The first step to keep your efforts from becoming (or remaining) like this description of a rat race is to be aware of it.

Who Are Those Social Media Experts, Anyway?

I have a strong suspicion that the reason you took all of that “brilliant” advice the world kept shoving at you about social media marketing is somehow related to money, right? They told you to use Facebook and Twitter, they gave you all the good reasons to blog, and urged you to jump on the social media express train. Maybe a few even advised that you be “human” but yet, whatever you do, be brilliant every single day!

Social Media Rat Racers Are Constantly Feeding

Maybe “they” didn’t put it quite in those terms, but that is the writing you saw on the wall. Social media marketing became the clearest answer for helping your business to survive and hopefully thrive while other marketing failed like an untied balloon sailing through the air as it deflates. You have seen how thin newspapers and telephone books are nowadays, right? Perhaps you noticed how many television stations had cutbacks, or how thin your telemarketing cousin is looking these days. All paths seem to lead to social media as an ideal cure for the cancer ravaging your business.

Social media is the one place where “they” tell you that you can do it all yourself and you will save a ton of money because it is “free”. Of course, “free” will never come without a cost. That is another blog article altogether, but let’s be realistic: Social media marketing is not designed to save you money, or save your sanity, but rather to earn you money more effectively. There is a huge difference in saving and earning, and I love how Thomas Jefferson said “The man who stops advertising to save money is like the man who stops the clock to save time.”

Social media marketing done well will often require an even larger investment than those things of the past. One of the steepest costs comes from right there between your ears. It takes a great strategy to achieve great results, and great strategies can be just about challenging enough to put most people on the doorstep of an insane asylum. Whether you hire it out, or you try and do it all yourself, there is a big cost of time and energy, or money.

In a perfect world, success may be simple or it may be free, but you can bet that it will not be both. In either case, the famed social media miracle cure has probably let you down more than once.

Grab Your Social Media Rope

Since you are hip-deep in it now, I want to throw you a rope to help pull you from the ashes and give you an ember to rekindle your efforts.

I will admit that I am not feeling very brilliant today. I am worn out from long hours of work, and we have had a nasty cold running through my family. How else would I be able to reflect on burnout so clearly, yet confused at the same time? Hey, I am human … Imagine that! You are, too, and that means you are full of faults. You have all kinds of lovely faults, and each of them provides opportunities to do better.

If what you are doing is burning you out, it is time to regroup and rekindle. It is time to rethink things, and create new solutions. My example is certainly different from many, because I am a marketing professional. After long days of building upon theories and crafting marketing strategies for everybody else, it is easier to just ignore my own marketing needs. I guess it is why there are so many metaphors about plumbers with leaky pipes, sick doctors, and cobblers with barefoot children. If you are in the marketing field, this should be a cinch for you, but it can be applied to any marketing endeavor.

Grab my rope and pull yourself out of those ashes and let’s reflect on your strategy. Is it outdated for your needs? Do you have more insight to work with today than you did in the past? If so, it is time to redefine and reshape your social media strategy.

In the Social Media Rat Race, It is Better to Be A Squirrel!

Redefine Your Strategy

Why did you ever begin a social media marketing effort? Did you do it to solve short-term objectives and squelch immediate fears of jumping in too late? One of the most tragic things I see with companies is the act of just dipping their toe in, only to find that it is quicksand.

If you take a step back and consider this, you may find that you entered the social media arena with a tactical approach, but without a well-formed strategy. If this is the case, don’t be ashamed of it, and don’t be overwhelmed by it. It is a common mistake, and my experience says that it is the most frequent cause for burnout. I was not kidding or trying to be “Mister Popular” when I wrote “Social Media Tactics Without Social Media Strategy Fails“.

Taking a new look with a fresh set of ideas can make a huge difference. What have you learned along the way, and how can you use that knowledge? It is worth the effort to discover things you may be overlooking or procrastinating.

Measure and Enjoy Your Social Media Successes

I can often share things best by recounting things from my professional work. Real stories are very often my best inspiration and source of that “fuel” to keep me working hard. It is a good way to get a point across and help you to think about how it may relate to your world.

I met a college student on my blog this morning. You see, I have this nice little chat on my blog where I can see what people are reading and engage them in a chat. I saw the article he was reading, and I struck up a conversation. We had a nice 19 minute chat, and I found that he was very interested in learning from my work. I have given a lot of hard lessons and grief to newcomers in my industry, because there is a widely held perception that it is easy. I strongly dislike the type who come into my industry and treat it like a Gold Rush. It is not a “get rich quick” kind of job, and it took me years to earn my first million. On the other hand, I respect the newcomers who have integrity, are willing to work hard, and want to learn. I work hard to help them, and I feel good about doing that.

What? You don’t consider that a success story? It did not pay me a penny, but you can bet that I came away feeling better about my work. It gave me more fuel, because it reminded me that I have a lot to offer, and that I can make a useful impact in somebody’s learning. It reminded me why I love what I do, and why my objectives always follow along behind my purpose … and not the other way around.

Maybe this seems too longsighted, but it is what works in the real world. Anything else is like trying to harvest a crop without sowing any seeds. All you get is dirt!

Restate Your Objectives

Are your objectives honorable? Do you have integrity and honesty? Unless you are representing something despicable and unworthy, it is OK to make your objectives known. Regardless of the stigma which some (usually jealous or unsuccessful) people place on those seeking a benefit from social media, most people won’t hate you for that. What they hate is when you try to harvest a crop without planting any seeds.

If you work hard to provide a value to others, and they appreciate your work, it is fine to ask them for something in return. That may mean asking for the sale, asking for them to subscribe, or many other possibilities. If they don’t like it, they are probably selfish about other things, too. Some misguided people will always want something for nothing. A lot of people will respect you for it, and it could be a big breath of fresh air for your business.

You don’t have to take it as far as I do with stating your objectives and your strategy publicly, but you must at least mark them in your business plan and keep them in your sights. When you have a clear definition of your strategy and how it will help you achieve your goals, it is a lot easier to do what it takes to reach those goals. It will also be much easier on the people you hope will listen to you and take action.

It was perhaps not my most brilliant moment, but I think I said it pretty well in my article “How to Make a Blog Popular: Consider Your Intent!“ This is not just about a blog, either. Your intent will have a lot to do with how people perceive you, and how receptive they are to your brand. Here is a quote from that article:

“The focus of this blog is to help educate people about things which can help them. I like to help people think and create their own ideas. I like to teach people about things which they may find useful. I also like to dispel the many SEO lies which are common in the industry.

When I say that intent is important, here is how I look at it: If my intent was centered around selling something rather than educating and helping people, the direction would be totally different. The intent would show through, and the value to others would be far less.”

When I consider this intent, it is a lot easier to achieve my hopeful outcome. That hopeful outcome is that you will subscribe to my blog, share it on Facebook, Twitter, email, blogs, and scream it at the top of your lungs in a packed office, train station, street, or any other place where there are people. My strategy involves people adapting and sharing my ideas far and wide. Since I only seek a very select group of businesses to provide my services, my strategy is to help others enough that they will help me in return, by getting me in front of my special somebody.

Did you follow that? My strategy is to help enough people that some of them will help me to find my special client … the one I call “The Right One”. Be helpful? Not a bad idea, right? Sure, I am only seeking one good person to see value in my work, and you may be seeking a million of them. Trust me now, or resent me later, but I can tell you that the principle is the same regardless of the scale.

Can you see the parallels in your industry? I hope so, and I hope that this gives you some fuel for thought and keeps your social media bonfire burning for another day.

The strategy almost seems too simple, right? It should seem simple, because then it is manageable and sustainable. If you make things too confusing, or if you don’t have your objectives straight, your strategy will fail. That is a perfect recipe for rat racing and eventual burnout.

What do you have to say about this?

Photo Credits:
Two Rats by Matt Baume via Flickr
Rat & Squirrel by Peter Pearson via Flickr
Rats Drinking Milk by Mandy via Flickr

Here is That Extra Time You Asked For

I am excited to hear from you if you can relate to this. Have you ever had somebody ask you to do something and use the phrase “when you have some extra time”? It may be just fine if a friend says that, while asking you to go and do something fun. When it attacks your profession, there is a line to be drawn.

I get this “extra time” concept thrown my way almost every day. I am not joking or exaggerating about this. I know that a lot of other professional service people get this, too. It is hard for a lot of people to understand that when your product is knowledge or time, it still has a cost.

Yes, even those intangible things like rubbing brain cells together to create a spark, blowing on it, and turning it into a flame actually have a real and measurable cost. So, how can we deal with this, and make it understandable to people who think there is some magical “extra time” laying around to hand out for free?

It seems apparent that old sayings like “time is money”, “you get what you pay for”, and “time is our most valuable resource” have outlived their usefulness. They have become as cliché as a passing stranger asking “how are you doing?” They don’t really want to know how you are doing when they utter that. Try it out the next time you hear it, and give them a big earful and you will see what I mean. People often overlook respect for other peoples’ time with a similar disregard.

I suppose that free time can be a touchy subject for a lot of people, but not for me. I am going to share my responses when people slip me this sort of “give me free stuff” proposition. If you are a professional who deals with this, I hope it will help you to manage your time. If you are a time-beggar, I hope this will help you to be more understanding and respectful the next time this absurdity begins to spew forth from the vile and disrespectful hole between your lips.

Defending Your Extra Time

If you are ever faced with similar matters of requests for your free time, think about what else you could be doing with it. These are just a handful of thoughts which stomp loudly through my head when people ask me to provide professional services in my extra time:

Extra Time? My Kids Would Love That! – When I am asked for my extra time, the first thing that comes to my mind is how much my wife and kids would really love it if I had some extra time to share with them.

Have You Tried This at a Restaurant? – I imagine it like this: “Hey waitress, when you have some extra food back there in the kitchen, can you do me a favor, please? In return, I will send my hair stylist in to see you, and I am sure he will make up for all of the free food I gobble while I keep you from earning your tips. He is a great guy, and I am on my way to see him for a free haircut as soon as I leave here.”

Doctor, My Toe Hurts! – “I know that you usually charge people for this, and you have huge liability and licensing in the balance, but since we are not in the office, could you do this one as a freebie?”

I Want a Free Car, Too! – This is funny for me, because I have had car dealers offer to trade me very nice cars for my work. This always reminds me to say: “You want my extra time, but you would like it for free? Let me think about that and get back to you when I have something really large with which to hit you over the head.”

Motorcycle! – See the 47 second video … Enough said.

Misconceptions About “Extra Time” Are Worse in Some Industries

I realize that in some industries, the lines are a bit more blurred than others. In my job role, I find that a lot of people want me to simply “look it over” and to give them a “quick estimate”. Although it may not seem to be a big deal, performing marketing asset reviews and building marketing strategies puts food on my table. It is not just the act of implementing what I know that I am paid for, but also the research and strategy.

Researching, planning, and “looking it over” are things which most people expect to pay for in the accounting, legal, medical, and many other fields. Those of us in the marketing industry are also paid for that time we spend doing the things you may imagine to be “quick and easy” for us. Otherwise, it would be common for us to waste enormous amounts of our time writing boilerplate marketing plans for people who are not serious enough about their business to do what they really should be doing. Worse yet, if we provide a plan and you decide to try and implement it yourself or have an inferior marketing person do it for you, we look stupid for a plan that failed but could have succeeded with abundance.

Drunken Sailor Coming Through!

I could really go crazy with some drunken sailor language on this topic, because in my world it is easy to see it as theft of my goods. It is hard to describe my struggle to be diplomatic about this. Any shred of diplomacy I display comes to me because I understand how people may view this from the outside. After all, the vast number of semi-professionals on the fringe of the marketing industry make it appear so “salesy” and like marketing people are all begging people for their money. It creates an absurd illusion that marketing people earn more money for themselves than they earn for their clients.

The reality is that for true marketing professionals, our time is worth just as much as that iPhone you are holding, that car you are driving, or that house you live in. You see, this is because our time and knowledge is what we earn our living with. We don’t sell items … we help other people to sell items. Our job is to earn more money for our clients.

If I had some extra time, wouldn’t it make sense that I would use that “extra time” to work harder and to sell it at its fair market value? Yes, that’s right … that is exactly what I would do. So, here you go:

Dear Friend:

I appreciate your show of confidence by asking me to look at your business and give you recommendations to make it more marketable. I would be delighted to write you a researched marketing plan and proposal free of charge … if it was free for me, too. You see, my time and knowledge is what I earn money with, just like a shoe store uses shoes to make money.

This is my extra time, right now. I am using it to write this blog so that more people will know who I am, respect the value of my time, and pay me money for that extra time I had laying around.

Respectfully,

Mark Aaron Murnahan

All of my extra time is gone. If I find any more, I will use it to further my business reach. Fortunately, you also receive a benefit from it, because I am providing you with a constantly growing blog archive to teach you things that you can put to use in your extra time.

If you want some of my time to help you decide if it is worth paying for, I have already used that time, too. I used it to build a fantastic reputation, and an exemplary work history.

Whether this reaches you as a person who earns a living with your time and knowledge, or a person on the other side, I hope I have helped you see things a bit differently. I have tried my best to express consideration for both parties, and I hope you will do the same.

Thank you for your time.

Big Ben photo credit to peterpearson via Flickr

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“How Much Does SEO Cost?” is The Wrong Question

If you are in a customer-facing job role, you have surely heard the common question of “how much does it cost?” Many of us hear it long before questions of value even come into consideration, and it seems especially common in SEO (search engine optimization).

I consider the “how much does it cost” shopping approach a very worthwhile reason to scream at somebody and demean them. I usually try to hold back that urge, but it is definitely scream-worthy. I have very often answered it by hanging up the phone. That is because I take it as an indication that the person asking will only see a dollar amount and not what it represents.

When it comes to SEO (search engine optimization), “how much does it cost” is absolutely the wrong question to open discussions. I will explain why the cost of SEO is far down the list of things which will matter, and whether you are on the buying side or selling side of SEO, this should be useful to you. I will also explain why the question of how much the SEO will cost is not only a moving target, but also ways to determine an appropriate cost.

First, consider this: The topic struck me when I see how often my wife, Chef and Owner of Mad Eliza’s Cakes and Confections, answers burning questions about the cost of wedding cake. It happens very often that a bride-to-be will ask how much her wedding cake will cost, before even having a good idea of the design or even how many guests it needs to feed. I find a lot of people shop for SEO the same way. From now on, you will know better!

The SEO Cost Should Be Based on the Need

There is no practical way of answering questions of the cost of SEO until the variable of need is addressed. Assessing the need for SEO should be based on client goals and accurate marketing projections. To get to the right number, you must have a good fix on the overall market potential, and how much market share can be reasonably expected at a given level of action.

This is not rocket surgery, but it does require more than just guesswork. A good projection will be based on multiple variables, but a good start is to know how many people are looking for what you offer.

If you are not clear on how many people are looking for you, and what they are looking for, close estimates can be made using tools such as SpyFu, WordTracker, and Google’s keyword tool. These tools can help you find out how many people are searching for what you offer, and provide a glimpse of the overall market potential.

More useful information on this topic is available in the article titled “Improve SEO Return on Investment (ROI) With Simple Math“.

The Point of Diminishing SEO Returns

It is possible to overestimate your efforts and do more SEO than you need. I have never seen it happen in real life, but the theory makes sense. If you are spending more money on SEO than the potential for your entire market, there is a point where it would be wasteful. However, the ugly monkey which stares many people in the face is that in the beginning, most SEO efforts will cost more than they return. So, this brings up the point of how far you can see into your future.

Short-Term SEO Cost vs. Increased SEO ROI Later

Let’s look at this with a bit of logic. There is no return on investment (ROI) at the point when you write the first check for SEO. Having short term (30, 60, and 90 day) goals is important for most companies. When more effort is focused on short term SEO goals than long term goals, the expected overall ROI is lowered. There is a balancing point which is important to reach.

If you need to meet short term objectives in order to produce cashflow to achieve longer term goals, the end cost will generally be higher. This is because you are overemphasizing the short term objectives just to pay for the higher return long term goals.

Where SEO Cost Goes Off The Rails

While I was writing this article, I was distracted by the ding of a message coming from the live chat on my contact page. It was from a really nice guy named Eric, and here is how the chat went:

[11:04] Eric: Hi Mark I’m interested in asking you about some of your services if you have a few minutes

[11:04] murnahan: Sure.

[11:05] murnahan: You are welcome to ring me if you prefer. My direct line is *REDACTED DUE TO AGING WEBSITE* or my Skype username is “murnahan”.

[11:05] Eric: I came across your site researching SEO tips and first off, great information. I’m trying to gain an understanding of SEO, and it’s obviously very in-depth. I’m a vey tech savvy person but not really on the “up and up” for SEO. Anyway, I manage a national moving company, and we’re looking to increase our search traffic. What type of services do you offer that you think could help us out?

[11:07] murnahan: There are a lot of answers to that question, but perhaps the best one is this: I can make your company more attractive, somewhere along the lines of sex and bacon.

[11:08] Eric: Hm. I do like both of those things

[11:08] murnahan: When you make your company more attractive, the word spreads, and you get bigger pay checks.

[11:08] murnahan: See what I mean … most people do! LOL

[11:08] Eric: I would actually like to speak with you. can I call now?

[11:09] murnahan: sure … my ears are on.

Well, Eric called me and we spoke for a while. It was a good talk, and I listened to what his company does, and where they hope to go with it. As we talked, I was thinking … I do that a lot. One of my first thoughts was how important it is for a moving company to gain people’s confidence. I have heard a lot of nightmares about how moving companies break stuff, steal stuff, and scam people out of extra money once they have your stuff in their trucks. In fact, I have a friend who is in a lawsuit against his mover right now.

Eric asked me if I had any ideas on how I could help his company. Although this is the exact stuff I am paid to do, I thought I’d at least let him know I was listening and thinking. I discussed a few ideas with Eric about how we could make his moving company a little more sex and bacon-like.

Since his company has complete access to people’s stuff, I suggested that overcoming the potential customers’ fears about movers would be an important step to increasing their business. Of course, this is only one piece of a larger strategy, but a critical one.

I told Eric I thought it would be really neat for them to walk into each job and hang a half dozen IP cameras on the walls and provide customers a website login in case they want to look in on the progress. Then I pointed out that the cost of an 8 gigabyte SD card is under 30 bucks, and it may be cool to hand people a complete video record of their move when he hands them their bill. Not only could this set them apart as a more trustworthy company, it could also be a nice benefit for people to document all of their belongings for insurance purposes. It would provide customers with greater confidence, and give them something valuable, all at once.

OK, so it may cost a few bucks. It could easily have a one-time cost a thousand bucks or more per truck for wireless cameras and a laptop with a built-in Internet connection. That is not bad, considering it is a tiny fraction of the cost of a tractor trailer and other moving equipment. It would take them an extra 10-20 minutes (of a 4-6 hour job) to hang some stick-on hooks to place the cameras, and $30 for an SD card. The technology part would be a breeze, for me. Heck, I did a 6,000 mile live mobile webcast from a race car. This one would be a no-brainer, and the moving guys would only have to know how to turn on a laptop and click a “start” button.

Can you imagine how much that relatively small extra effort could pay them with customer confidence? Can you imagine what would happen if major tech blogs picked up the story of their success in using technology to overcome real-world trust barriers? It could make a nice press release for tech bloggers, television, and more. Can you imagine how that could affect their SEO?

How Much Does SEO Cost Now?

I never worked with a moving company, and this idea sprouted up fresh from a short conversation during a free consultation. It gets even better if Eric pays me for my ideas. Eric didn’t call to ask me about the cost of SEO. He asked the right questions, centered around value and calculated return on investment.

When he asked me about how much SEO would cost, it was more about how much he needs to beg, borrow, and steal to get the results that he wants for his company. He understands that good marketing is what makes companies bigger, and that bad SEO can cost a lot more than good SEO. That is a whole lot different than simply fearing the cost of SEO.

Get the SEO Questions Right

If you know the right questions to ask about SEO, you will have a lot better results. It will help you to avoid being taken advantage of by SEO lies, and to realize why SEO is a lot more than just technical geeky work.

I have always said that coffee and cigarettes are the best SEO and social media marketing tools. If that sounds crazy, please be sure to see this video explaining why I know it is true.

My Answers About “How Much Does SEO Cost”

Every search engine optimizer will have a different answer about the cost of SEO services. Some of them will be right, and some of them will be woefully wrong. We each work differently, and each have different skill sets and levels of marketing talent. In my case, I require a sizable investment, and I am not a good match for most companies. I prefer to only work with two to four clients at a time, and my projects come with a three to twelve month commitment. That should pretty well explain why I don’t do SEO for dog walkers.

Something important to consider is that until the other important questions are answered, the matter of cost will always be incorrect. This is simply not a commodity business, and everybody will have different needs and expectations. Throwing around dollar amounts is a waste of time if the purchaser and the provider do not fully understand each other, and the job at hand.

I want to leave you with these thoughts regarding the cost of SEO from my perspective:

Yes, I have a family of five, and each of them like to eat every day.
Yes, I do own a motorcycle that cost more than my first two houses, combined.
Yes, that is a real Picasso hanging in my living room (pictured above).
Yes, it will cost you a lot more than the money in my hand to get my attention.
Yes, my clients always earn more profit from my work than I do!
Yes, I will probably scream at you and hang up the phone if you call me to ask “how much does SEO cost?”

Some search engine optimizers will promise 1,000 links to your website and first page ranking in Google for $300. Isn’t that search engine optimizer a great deal?

Now, please answer me … do you really think that it is the same thing wherever you go?

Here are some related articles I have written regarding the cost of SEO and placing cost above value. I hope you will enjoy them.

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Social Media and The Absurdity of Implied Reciprocity

If you are one of those people who expect social media favors because somebody owes you something, just stop it! If you like something and find value in it, share it with others or do whatever it is that you do with good information. Just don’t assume that it means people owe you anything.

In business, and in life, reciprocity is a wonderful thing. It feels good to do business with people who do business with you, right? You have probably heard the old saying, “You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.”

A problem with reciprocity comes when people start doing things they would normally not do, only in hopes of demanding favors in return. It is nice to reciprocate, but this does not mean it is implied.

I received a message on LinkedIn yesterday that read as follows: “Hi. I liked ur PAGE through LINKEDIN GROUP. Expecting ur LIKE and SUPPORT.” I thought to myself, “Really? You liked my page in order to add to my number of people artificially interested in my work and you want me to do the same? Oh, and ‘SUPPORT?’ Does this mean you want me to feed your kids, too?” I guess I just didn’t see that as any kind of favor.

If you like what I do, and you think you could learn something from a guy with over 20 years of successful marketing experience, by all means, “Like” my Facebook page. If you think you have done me some great favor and I am going to do you a favor by liking your Facebook page which has absolutely no interest to me, you need me worse than you think!

Why would you have any desire whatsoever to have me “Like” your Facebook page if I will never, ever, be a customer or recommend you to anybody because you are a a demanding douchebag who expects something from me?

If You Like Me, Just Like Me, But Stop Expecting Favors!

Rather than to rewrite the whole thing, I want to share something I said in a previous article titled “Do You Tweet and Retweet Seeking Favors?” Here is the closely paraphrased version:

People in the social media field often build relationships in which they will work together to spread a message. As long as there is honesty and integrity in the message, I am generally happy to help. However, I have been hit over the head with some of this recently. It seems that I get a lot of requests to scratch somebody’s back. It is all fine and good to be reciprocal, but is it good to take away the human filter that makes us who we are?

If all I was doing was tweeting, retweeting, blogging, Facebooking, YouTubing, Digging, Stumbling, and etcetera, because I hoped people would return the favor, would people still care what I had to say? I do not imagine the answer is “yes”.

Reciprocity Has Its Place

Don’t get me wrong, reciprocity certainly has its place, but if you are doing things with expectations of others doing things for you in return, don’t you at least think it should be something meaningful or useful?

The only time I recall actually being a little hacked by lack of reciprocity was from a car dealer. Hell, I purchased three brand new Corvettes and a Cadillac Escalade (total cost over $240,000) from this guy in under a year’s time, and I sent him many new customers. When he went to somebody else for his web hosting because it was cheaper than my recommended $209 per year plan, I kind of thought that was a bad business decision. Then when he asked me about a new website and used my website proposal to shop around, I wanted to kick him in the nuts. Yeah, I kind of felt slapped in the face, but I will still buy a car from him based on the merits of his business … not mine!

I Did Not Buy These Just to Sell a Website!

In summary, don’t “Like” my Facebook, subscribe to my blog, follow me on Twitter, link to this page, kiss my butt with kind comments in my blog, or anything else of the sort if it is only because you want something. Do it because you know I am not full of crap and because you receive value from my hard work.

I may reciprocate, but not because I feel guilty if I don’t.

I have just one more thought for you, and it is what my wife said when I mentioned this subject to her. Here is another way to look at it, and a brilliantly performed song.

Note that since I wrote this, I have replaced the Bonnie Raitt version of the song. Apparently she stopped allowing her YouTube videos to be embedded in web pages. this guy performs it nicely, too!

“I Can’t Make You Love Me“

Dog Photo Credit to wsilver via Flickr

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Anybody Will Sell You Stuff: Some Will Ask “What About You?”

Listening Builds Friendships ... and Companies! — Listening Builds Friendships
... and Companies!

Let’s consider a trait that we can each benefit from, and most of us should work harder to achieve. I will tell it in personal terms, and then explain how it applies to marketing a business.

I am sure you must know somebody who makes you feel comfortable to talk with about anything you want to talk about. When I find myself encountering this rare-as-a-unicorn person who just wants to know about me, and the things I want, it almost feels awkward at first, but in a uniquely good way.

I am talking about those people who listen attentively and do more than just nod their head and yawn as you ramble, while waiting to assert their agenda. I mean the kind who draw you in and make you feel totally comfortable to want what you want, think what you think, and be who you are. You tell them things, because they actually show their interest in you.

When you encounter this type of person, it is easy to feel that their story has got to be a great one. Their expressed interest in you has made them more interesting, and it makes you want to know them better, and to hear their side. Suddenly, there is a desire to switch things around and make the conversation more about them, what they want, what they think, and how you can be a better friend to them.

I hope that you have had the privilege to know somebody like I have described here. If so, you are probably nodding and smiling as you think of the way it makes you feel about them. It may even make you want to ring them on the phone to catch up on things since you last spoke.

Applying Listening to Marketing a Brand

Think about how you feel in a scenario where a person really cares what you have to say. I don’t mean the kind who fake it, but rather the kind where you can sense a sincere interest in you. Don’t you want to be more like them?

Have you ever encountered this feeling that you are talking too much and listening too little? All of the sudden you feel a little bit like a conversation hog, but it is so hard to change. When you want more business, you have to talk more, and it becomes hard to remember those listening skills.

This “listening person” we all enjoy is often there, in the back of our mind, but they are very hard to emulate. What I described is a common dynamic of any relationship, but the special ones we think so kindly about are simply better at it than we are.

In business, we each have our agenda, and our sets of rules for what we think is the best outcome for our own interests. We plan things in ways that we will get what we want out of the relationship, and deviating from that plan is a threat. It is simply against the rules.

In marketing, it is very popular to be the one doing all the talking, and nod and yawn while customers try to tell us what they want. I see extreme selfishness every day in marketing. I see it most profoundly online, because it is easy for companies to scream louder when they think that nobody is listening.

It is important to notice when our set of rules and a selfish mindset diminishes our potential. This is a common outcome when we forget to listen and be that person who becomes more interesting simply by being genuinely interested.

Consider for just a moment the instances when it may be best to approach business as a bit more of an interested introvert, and less of an interesting extrovert. It may create a chance to reset your objectives and become a better “friend” to your customers. The outcome will often be that you will become more interesting, and others will think kindly and smile when they think of your business. The good news is that this truly is scalable to any size of brand!

Are you taking enough time to ask people “What about you?” I guess we could call compassion and listening matters of “growing up” or “wisdom”, but I believe that we can each do more to cultivate our listening and caring skills.

How can you better address the importance of listening to what people want? Will you do the necessary research? Will you take that extra time to slow down and get to know what people want and expect of you?

What do you have to say about this? I welcome your comments, and I want to know “What about you?”

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