Internet Archives by Mark Murnahan

Grammatical Reasons They’re Taking Their Business Over There

There are spelling and grammar errors that can make you look astonishingly lazy, and then there are spelling and grammar errors which simply make you appear stupid. The lazy errors happen to the best of us. I have never read a book that did not have an error, somewhere, even after many rounds of professional editing. Hekc, you may even find an error here on my blog.

I cannot expect people to be perfect, but what I can do is have a whole lot of fun at their expense. Perhaps you do not feel strongly about these failures of education, but do you ever read something which indicates that you are shopping in the wrong place?

I encounter horrible spelling and grammar every day, and I often wonder how these perpetrators of illiteracy keep up their fight to grow a business. Below are some brain-failures I hope to one day see eradicated.

Your Prolly May Hate Me For This

I think the first time I saw “prolly” used in somebody’s marketing material, I wondered what other kind of seafood they had. A “prolly” is the deep sea cousin of a prawn, right? Otherwise, I am at a loss to understand how anybody could slaughter a word so horribly.

I later learned that they were probably referring to the probability of business failure for being so damn lazy. “Prolly” is not a word, but if it ever becomes a word, I imagine that it will probably be used to describe a deep sea crustacean.

You’re Not Using Your Head

“You’re” is a contraction that means “you are” and “your” is a second-person pronoun meaning something belonging to the subject, you. “Ur” is deep sea text messaging code that the prolly kids use to keep grown-ups from understanding what the heck they are saying.

If you try telling me “your going to love our stuff” you had better be giving it away, because I am not buying it. My what is going to love your stuff? My wife, my kids, my libido? If you say “your going to love our stuff” you need to add something to help me understand you better. Perhaps you meant “your prolly is going to love our stuff!”

If you use “ur”, I may boil you in a seafood gumbo. There is not even a “dumb camp” for people so dumb to try and pass off “u” or “ur” as words. That is, unless you’re a 14 year old prolly girl and want to disarm the boys by downplaying your intelligence.

The words “you’re” and “your” are not even close to the same thing, and they are pronounced differently as well. Maybe understanding the pronunciation will help you to remember the correct usage. “You’re” begins with the sound of the word “you” and since it is a contraction, it slurs in the word “are”. Try it out and begin with “you” and add “are” and keep slurring them together faster until it sounds right.

The pronunciation of “your” rhymes with lore, more, store, and whore. So if you think about using the word “your” try using it as follows: “Your store is creating more lore.” Now remember that if you are talking about somebody’s whore, you can use the word “your”, because it is something they posses. It is their whore, and it shows possession. On the other hand, if you say “You’re whore”, you just called them a whore, because you said “you are whore”. That makes it more personal and is more likely to start a fight than simply talking about the whore they possess. You might just as well talk bad about their prolly while you are tossing around the insults.

One more thing: “Youre” is another prolly word. Please refrain from using it unless you are deep in the ocean and related to prawns.

They’re Going to Take Their Money Over There

If you don’t get this one by the time I am done, you should be sent to swim with the prolly. Again with the damn contractions. I largely avoid contractions, in speech and in writing, but they are widely accepted in the twisted version of the Queen’s English that is used in my country.

“They’re” means “they are”, “their” means that they possess it, and “there” means somewhere else or the existence of something. Here is some practice for you to consider: There is a good chance they’re going to take their money over there if you screw these up. Now read this sentence again and think really hard.

There is a good chance they’re going to take their money over there if you screw these up.

“Their” is a personal pronoun. If you remember that lesson about “your whore”, just flip that around and now you are talking about their whore. If you get this wrong they’re probably going to take their money somewhere else … over there.

Your Till Will Ring Less ‘Til You Stop Abusing This

Note that I have edited this for clarification after receiving a comment (below) assuming I had a problem with using “till”, which is not the case. The problem is in trying to make a contraction of “until”. Think for just a moment about the word “until”. Until is just five letters long, but I see a lot of people who try to shorten it. If you want to shorten “until” consider how you may do so with the least absurdity. Would you add another letter to the word that did not previously exist and say “‘till“. That seems kind of useless, considering that you just removed one letter and added another letter plus one more character. In this case, maybe you mean the word till. Otherwise, “until” is still five characters long in this iteration ( ‘-t-i-l-l ), but it makes you look five times as stupid! I suppose you can get a down home feel by using “’til“, which would be the correct usage if there were an acceptable contracted version of until. On closer inspection you may notice that it is still only one character shorter.

A “till” is a place where money is stored, or something you do to the field before you plant corn to make your whiskey. Until you understand that “until” only has one letter “L”, and that till is not a contracted version of until, you may sound like you are drinking from a still. At least you will sound like a hillbilly for trying to make a contraction of the word until, in case that is what you are after.

The Alot Eats Prolly

I find a lot of people who like the “Alot”, but they abuse him. The Alot is a unique creature, and should not be taken for granted. I do not have a lot better way to describe the Alot than to introduce you to the creature in a blog article titled “The Alot is Better Than You at Everything“. Here is a snippet for you:

The Alot is an imaginary creature that I made up to help me deal with my compulsive need to correct other people’s grammar. It kind of looks like a cross between a bear, a yak and a pug, and it has provided hours of entertainment for me in a situation where I’d normally be left feeling angry and disillusioned with the world.

For example, when I read the sentence “I care about this alot,” this is what I imagine:
(see Hyperbole and a Half)

I have just one more thing to mention on the subject. Get your “‘s” (apostrophe s) and “s'” (apostrophe s’) right. If it needs an apostrophe or does not, you should learn the difference and also the correct placement. Otherwise, don’t blame me if your customer rides their alot over there to another store to buy their prolly.

What Makes You Want to Rant?

I could go on with rants about bad grammar until I am as blue as a prolly. What makes you want to rant? Perhaps it is people who correct your grammar? 😉

Is Your Marketing Microcosm Too Micro?

This is not just about thinking bigger, but more about thinking outside of what you know … or rather, what you think you know. This is not an attack against you, or it must be attack against me, too. The fact is that we plain and simply do not know how much we do not know. Until we know it, and address those important but unknown issues, we stand to suffer many losses.

Some people will term it “thinking outside the box” but that is not natural for most people, and it can certainly hold its dangers in office politics. Let’s face it, independent and creative thinking is not encouraged enough. Most people think the way they are told to think. After all, that is most of what proper schooling is about. I respect the way Albert Einstein observed it with his statement as follows:

“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”

–Albert Einstein

It is hard to believe this occurs in a time with such great communication and collaboration tools, but it is quite common. Just consider how many times a creative person is suspected of gunning for the boss’ job and gets kneecapped for having great ideas. Even when this is not the case, it is often feared to be reality, or there are fears of not receiving proper recognition. Most companies hate to admit this, but a lot of great thoughts never make it up the flagpole because of a culture like I describe here, or somebody mediocre shot it down prematurely. Maybe it is because the decision makers do not understand the value, they are threatened, or otherwise just can’t get their head out of that box. Whatever the case, I know that it exists, because I see it all the time. Companies create their own misery, and the same thing happens in companies from one employee to thousands of employees. It is often a case of not knowing what they do not know, and it stunts their growth … often very badly.

The Tragedy of Projecting Your Own Beliefs

The fact that we do not know how much we do not know about our potential customers and their way of thinking can be tragic. It is so simple to think we have a good picture of them, but a very common fact is that we project our own lives and ideas onto them. When we think we know what they want, or what they should want, it gets in the way … badly! For example, I recall roughly 20 years ago selling cars to supplement three companies I was getting off the ground at the same time. I was pouring everything I could into those companies, and thank goodness. Two were pretty big hits for me.

At the time, I did not really relate to buying high dollar cars. Later, as life changed and I started buying nicer cars, I started seeing things differently. I realized signs of mistakes I had made back then by projecting my own thoughts or lifestyle. I have witnessed it from salespeople who were shy to ask for the sale or to ask for their reasonable profit, because they could not see themselves in my position, as the customer. I like buying nice things. I like cars and motorcycles … a lot. I have spent well over half a million on cars in a given year. I recall making a believer of a sales manager when I purchased three Corvettes, and a Cadillac Escalade from him. He learned to ask for the money when I came to buy cars that range from $60-80,000 each, and I admire him for it. I wanted those fine things, and even though it was not something that made a lot of sense in his life, he realized it made perfect sense in my life. You see, he stopped second-guessing the sale by projecting his life onto customers, and he did a lot more business for it.

You Know Your Market, But Could You Know More?

I am a marketing guy. I work with clients every day who think they know their market. To some degree, they do … they must, or they would not be in business at all. Would it surprise you to hear an opinion that the majority of businesses are really far off the mark where it comes to the most valuable resources for growing their business? This is not just something that struck me today. No, not at all. This is something that I have learned in over two decades of marketing experience and studies.

It is astonishingly true for many companies that a more refined look at their own marketplace is simply impossible from within. They need outside eyes, and new ideas. They do not have the means to reach beyond their microcosm … their little box where they are comfortable. I consider the locker scene from “Men in Black” or “Horton Hears a Who” by Dr. Seuss. These are good examples of not seeing beyond a small microcosm and realizing things from the other side.

Unless a company is enjoying a huge burst of market share increase, they can generally make big improvements. Come on, we can agree on this point, right? Even in instances of a dwindling market, if a business is not growing but yet somebody else in the industry getting bigger, there is some reason. Would you like to guess the most common reason? I hope you guessed marketing, because it is true that if a company reaches the right people, at the right time, with the right message, and there is a sufficient value proposition, their business will grow.

Marketing … really good marketing makes a difference, but that often requires an uncomfortable look beyond what a business thinks. It means thinking outside of themselves. It all sounds simple, but I have seen it a squillion times that a whole room of marketers will all turn pale and their mouths get dry when you show them how wrong they were. Although it often feels like lightning just cracked through the room, the reality is that it is often far more subtle differences that make the big difference.

It means taking the uncomfortable look outside of what you know. It means knowing that if you do not know it, you had better find somebody who does, and is willing to share it with you. It means finding that lightning and bottling it.

In the end, it often means getting a clean set of untarnished eyes to stand outside the box and help drag you out to see what you could not see before. It should not be a surprise to learn that one of the distinct advantages of a marketing consultant it that they are not already contaminated by what cannot be done, or what a client thinks cannot be done.

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Internet Marketing Truth: An Internet Marketer Fights Lies With Truth

In today’s marketplace with all the desperate static on the Internet, it seems that honesty is hard to find. I can give you instances like the guy I found claiming to be an Internet marketer for over 25 years; the liars telling you that more followers on Twitter will make you money; or the many search engine submission jokers with pink ponies for sale. I can list instances of lies, deception, and fraud in Internet marketers all day long. I have heard Internet marketing described as “the last refuge of sleazy,? get-rich-quick scumbags too slimy to sell used cars.” and I agree with that statement.

The fact is that I am not here to sell you anything. Only a small fraction … and I mean a tiny number of the people who will read this can afford my services or care enough about their company to build a business the way I do it. I want their money, and not yours. Just relax, my hand is not reaching for your pocket.

This article will possibly bore you to tears, but at least you cannot say I never gave you something. I am going to give you some harsh truth about Internet marketing. For those who choose to brave the truth, my work here is worth my effort.

If you smell one whiff of typical Internet marketing “bullshit perfume” in what I will tell you, just turn the page and don’t bother coming back. I want to tell you how to truly achieve success in a market, and I am not going to lead you wrong. If you don’t come back, at least I know that you are not serious about doing the right things for the right reasons. That shame is on you.

You can chock this up as just another blog post from an Internet marketing guy trying to seem revolutionary, or you can drop what you are doing and listen to the truth. The truth of how I truly, factually, and without lies, have earned millions of dollars for myself and my clients using the Internet … and how much I hate the directions my industry has taken. You may not want to read all of this, because it will not spell out a glorious pink pony ride to success or the convincing unicorn hunting expedition that other Internet marketing and SEO people hit you with every day, like this Johnny Come Lately Internet Marketing Parody video.

I made a late night coffee run with a friend who reminded me how much truly spectacular marketing takes benevolence, persistence, honesty, integrity, intelligence, and marketing talent. It really requires a whole lot of other “magical” secrets that the huge wave of Internet marketing “experts” will try to sell you, but the piece I want to focus on here is truth about Internet marketing. Not the kind of truth you may expect, and not the kind of truth you may want to stick around and endure. I am offering the real deal. I want to give you the honesty about Internet marketing that you may be missing, and help to set you in a better direction.

So, you want the truth about Internet marketing. This will require you to read, and against all forces of outside persuasion, to pay attention to what I tell you. Only a desperate need to rush and read the next ineffective ideas of how to improve website traffic and reach more people to sell your stuff to should tear you away from this. I understand, there is a lot of that bad Internet marketing out there, and it all seems very tempting. If you are under time constraints to get rich today, go ahead, you probably have something more important to do. If you must go, just get lost … this is a story of truth in Internet marketing that I am telling, and not a ploy to help you get rich fast or to get you to buy my stuff.

Oooh, look … there is something shiny over there … *blinking advertisement* … you should click and check that out. Really, go ahead, you are not going to hurt my feelings. That is the way of the Internet. Click away, because you may get massively rich with that very next click. That seems to be the popular message these days.

OK, since you are still with me, and if you can shut out the temptation to go see the next message on Twitter or the next thing your friends on Facebook just did, sit there until you finish this.

I am going to give you a tip. I am going to tell you why and how it takes more than all those Internet marketing lies people will lead you to believe, and why I drink more coffee and smoke more cigarettes than the average person. It is so that I can be consistently alert and useful in my SEO and Internet marketing career. I know work … I know real work, and what it really takes to earn millions of dollars in Internet marketing, for myself and for my clients. No, not the crap you see in most marketer’s arsenal of fakeness … the real deal. I have walked a high and narrow path with hell on each side and I have battled business alligators until I found the swamp plug. I have endured insane work schedules and taken the risks that wives hate their husbands to take. I even released a book titled “Living in the Storm” to share what it takes to become successful. I wrote it as a man who dropped out of school at fifteen years of age and owned successful companies before many of my classmates finished their schooling. I have also been there to wave goodbye to a half a million dollars in fine cars when I decided that I could not justify my six digit per year second job as a race car driver. The truth is that I have walked along the highest steps in the top percentile money earners worldwide, and I have also looked in the cupboard and found nothing but peas and pancake mix and found a way to make a fantastic meal of it to get there. If you want lies and you want to find a shortcut, at least be ready to live as hard as that successful dropout kid I have grown up to be. That is a bit of truth about what it actually takes to be a success. You have to be ready and willing to make sacrifices, and be ready to work hard … or pay somebody who has been willing to make those sacrifices for you, and learned the truth about Internet marketing.

For your own sake, if you think it is easy to have Picasso hang on your wall, walk across a rug worth more than the $50,000+ desk you write blogs at, or ride a motorcycle that cost more than your first two homes combined … go ahead and read from those Internet marketers who know an easier way than I did, because it took me to my knees more than once to have those things. Go ahead and suck it all up and believe them, but don’t come to me to fix what they mess up for your business. Also, don’t blame my industry for your being too naive and getting conned into something stupid. Now, if you are ready to work hard and stop chasing unicorns long enough to learn something useful about Internet marketing, keep reading.

I am going to give you a piece of truth about Internet marketing, social media, and SEO that you can confirm. Here you go:

Internet Marketing Success Requires Hard Work

If there is no sacrifice, it probably will not work. Otherwise, everybody else would be doing it, and then the market would no longer be so great … kind of like the market for good SEO and Internet marketing. Instead of selling real services with real marketing strategies that work, the majority of Internet marketers are all trying to sell you some crap about how you can get it all and have it all just by sitting there at your keyboard adding up your money. They are lying to you. Go back and read my blog to see if I am telling you the truth. Just go and read the last few days, few weeks, or few months of my work of telling the truth about Internet marketing.

Maybe you think that due diligence will take too much of your time and you may just miss that next click from a Twitter friend or you may not catch that link that will make you filthy stinking rich. What it may save you is a whole lot of wasted time and money spent on Internet marketing with the wrong agenda. Let me remind you that I am not here to sell you anything. What I want from you is enough of your time to stop believing in all the unicorn chasers and static makers, enough to put them out of business. Then, perhaps without all the suspicion and static making the Internet deaf with something worthless to sell, we can all benefit. We can start looking forward to a world where people can see through the clouds and build their businesses the right way again, instead of getting scammed out of more money and then looking at the whole Internet as a failure.

Let’s face it, good marketing that brings loyal customers is trickier than ever. It gets harder and takes more creative marketing to be heard above the rumble of bottom-feeding Internet marketers who want you to believe that you will get what you want and will not have to make big sacrifices. You have probably heard somewhere that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Yeah, well it seems that a lot of people overlook that sensible statement as soon as they switch on their computer.

As I visited with my friend late last night, I gave him a fantastic rendition of many things he could do to effectively build his business and reach all the right people. He and I both know that I would never sell him anything for money. The things we brainstorm together are the best kind of honesty, and without any awkward agenda. He is a long-time technology guy, like me, and he strongly agreed to everything I said. If he disagrees, he is a close enough friend to be extremely stubborn. As it was, it was one of those light bulb moments for him, and he quite frankly flattered me with his attentiveness to my ideas. I shed light on his marketing thinking, and I feel really great about that.

We had one of those conversations where we came up with some brilliant business ideas for his company, but he kept trying to switch it around and focus me on how to improve my company. He complained about how I constantly have great ways to help monetize other people’s ideas, but yet, I will overlook the best direction in my own business. He called me a “cobbler with barefoot children”, and I had to agree. He really nagged me about how hard I work for others, and the sacrifices I make to build their success. It is not the easiest thing for me to hear, because I actually know he is right. He is one of the closest friends in my life, and when he kept trying to focus me on how little I try to maximize my own company, I had to internalize it. It kind of stings to feel my shortcomings, just as it does for most people. It is not because I don’t have the talent or the drive. I guess it is just because I am really focused on what I do. I make people more successful in their business. That is my job, and it is something I am passionate about.

So, my plan for following up on Mike’s urge to focus on my own business is not just for my own benefit, but to benefit others as well. My intent is to inform people that as long as there is static in my industry, it hurts us all. As long as people keep believing that it will be easy and not take serious efforts and make sacrifices to build their business, I have done us both a disservice.

Internet marketers who will tell you the truth and the ones who are just out of your reach are the ones you listen to. You know that you probably cannot afford their services anyway, so they really are not a threat to you. You nod your head as you read their blogs, and it all makes very good sense. Then you walk away from it and try to trust an industry of thieves to implement it cheaper, or try to do it yourself. If this rings any bells for you, please take a step back and look at your motivations. Take a moment to decide if you have the persistence to do things better than before. Take the time to use the sincere honesty that you will find here at my blog and those of a few other industry leaders. Use it … don’t just try and hold onto that hope in the back of your mind that there really is a simple way to win.

The truth about Internet marketing as I know it is that I have to keep turning away companies who want and need my help, but they have wildly misguided ideas of what it really takes to be successful. I am tired of watching so many people suffer from the belief that it should all be so easy and that anybody can do the job. These are the same companies who come back to me after they get the shirt ripped off their back and can no longer afford to implement the best solution to their needs. I think it is a damn shame.

Maybe if I tell you the truth that you didn’t want to hear, we can all be more successful tomorrow than today. The truth is that I am seeking one new client … just one, and it probably is not you. I have turned away a lot of people in the process of seeking that one new client. Maybe in exchange for some truthful and useful articles about Internet marketing, you can help me find that one new client. Maybe you can help to clean up my industry and remind people that there is no pink pony ride to success.

Perhaps you know a business person who wants to do it right and is not afraid to start seeing the truth. If you know somebody who needs to impress their board members or investors with more profit, please pass them my name. If you know somebody who can make serious sacrifices to make their business more profitable, please pass them my name. I only want one, so it would be hard to call me a big threat.

If you know somebody being conned with the vision of easy and cheap success, please help them to know the truth about Internet marketing, too. It is going to take a lot more work than most people are ready to withstand.

The Lazy Internet Culture: A Culture of Internet Marketing

Do You Understand Global? — Do You Understand Globalization?

The Internet has created a lot of change in culture around the world. It is not true for everybody, but on a large scale, globalization and greater awareness of the world is a reality. People learned more about the other side of this planet in the past decade than in all those thousands of years prior to the Internet. We have embraced other cultures that we were not previously aware of, and we have blended into a larger culture … the Internet culture. The Internet truly has been instrumental in creating the more global society we know today.

I am an American. I live within about an hour drive from the geographical center of the continental United States. I am about as far away from another country as you can be while within the USA boundaries. At the same time, I would estimate that I have more experience in dealings outside of the USA than 99.9 percent of United States citizens. Much of that is due to the Internet, but not entirely. I have traveled extensively, and I have spent time in many other countries. I have done business in countries all around the world, and learned a lot of interesting things about many cultures. I guess you may call me “worldly” based on my experiences, but I have learned more about people and cultures by using the Internet than in my travels. I should perhaps also add that it has provided me with a unique view on Americans and American Work Ethic vs. Globalization.

The Lazy Internet Culture and Internet Marketing

It seems that the Internet has a downside. Actually, the Internet has a few downsides, but I want to address a particular one. I want to address the culture of laziness that the Internet has made widely available. It is a lazy culture of believing that the Internet will fix everything, and that it is a simple place to earn a living. After all, who wouldn’t love to sit back and watch money flow in all night and day for doing nothing, and risking nothing? That is how the Internet is viewed by a frighteningly large number of people.

This really is a problem, and it really does have an affect on your business future! It has an affect on how people view their jobs, and it creates a laziness with a backlash that we cannot even quantify as of yet.

A Story of Our Internet Culture

I received a call a couple days ago that sincerely troubled me. I actually get a lot of calls like this, but I will share this particular one with you. The woman on the other end of the line asked me “how much does a website cost?” I have been answering this question for over a decade, but the absurdity is getting worse. The woman wanted to know what it would cost her to get what she wants. I needed more information, because after all, websites are not created equally … not even close. An ecommerce website with seven digits of monthly traffic will not cost the same as a novice site invisible to Google by the kid who just took his first high school computing class. If you really want to know how much a successful website will cost, without any clue about how it will succeed, my easy answer is “fifty-two squillion dollars and thirty four cents” (plus a fresh pot of coffee and a carton of cigarettes). Read “How Much does a Website Cost?” if you want a more defined look at the variables involved.

I asked her what kind of website she needs, what she will be offering, and what her goals are. She told me that she wanted to sell travel, and she wanted to earn between $1,000-$2,000 per month. Please note that I don’t market for hobbies … I market for businesses. This was clearly not a client that I would accept, but I wanted to help her with some guidance anyway. She seemed really earnest in wanting to do something, but she was extremely confused. So, we talked for a bit. I did not charge her a penny.

I came to discover that she did not yet have a service to offer. She was looking into an opportunity to sell a travel service. The company she had been considering offered a package for $399 with a website and everything she would require to make the money she needed and wanted. She was actually coming to me for comparison shopping. She thought maybe I could offer something for less than $399 that would earn her $1,000-$2000 per month. (Note: I do not deal in hundreds.) She really felt interested in the opportunity the company offered. I did not want to hurt her hopes, but I was just dying to know how she thought she would stand out beyond 672 million other results in a Google search for travel, with a budget under $400. I wanted to know her angle. I also really had to know whether she had heard of Travelocity, Expedia, Orbitz, Priceline, Hotels.com, or the others. I wanted to hear how she planned to get her piece of that market without any sense of a marketing budget, and without any travel industry experience. Don’t judge me just yet. I was nice about each of my questions … I was sincerely nice.

All of the sudden, the topic changed. When I asked about how she would target her audience for selling travel, she was at a loss. I guess she got a bit scared when she realized it would be kind of hard to earn a living selling travel to her friends and family. Then she wanted to know about marketing her line of perfume. No, not just perfume, but wedding perfume. Wow, this was a big shift from travel. She wants to market a very targeted perfume, specifically for a Christian woman on her wedding day. Really, she had a good case for it, too. The story was complete with things a nun had taught her as a young lady. She is ready for targeted marketing. Well, except for the fact that the target is like shooting a pea with a spitball at 100 kilometers.

Please see my point here. I hear a lot of stories about the next fantastic idea every day. Sometimes it is a new idea, and sometimes it is a person who just wants a piece of an existing market. Many times, it is just somebody looking for a way to get out of a job or to increase their lot in life, without any focus whatsoever. In nearly every instance, it is a person or corporation who thinks they have what it takes to be a success. They think this right up to the point of going broke trying to prove it. Sometimes they get lucky and find somebody who will tell them the truth before they waste a bunch of time and money. It is the lucky ones who find somebody to be honest and let them know it will not be as easy as the advertisement they just read about the Internet being their new savior.

I am usually pretty abrupt about things like this by giving an Internet marketing reality check. I felt really kind toward this woman. I guess I just needed to know more about her hopes, and I wanted to try my best to understand the mentality of people and what they respond to. I wanted to have a feel for people again … real people … like the ones struggling with hopes that they secretly believe are foolish but really want to hold onto. I wanted to feel somebody’s hopes, without just immediately crushing them with the truth. I wanted to let her down softly and not just be the everyday brutally honest Murnahan.

Three Lazy Internet Marketing Categories

I want to offer my views of three very sad categories of people I find in my career in Internet marketing. These three lazy categories of people that the Internet culture has created are as follows:

Type One: They heard the Internet is a great place to earn more money. This is a common message delivered by people trying to rip somebody off. It is so common that I would categorize it as the most destructive factor of the Internet. The majority of Internet users falling into this trap do not understand business, marketing, or even conceptualize earning a lot of money. They just know that they hear a whole lot of talk about making a ton of money, and websites … and there was something else. All they really heard was “money” and “website”. The rest was just filed off as something they did not need to know. They deeply believe that there actually is a quick and easy road to riches, and they just have to keep looking under every rock until they find it. There is a big belief that “somebody is getting rich the easy way, and it may as well be me.” What these sad folks will never grasp is that if anybody is getting rich easy, it is the one who sold you that delusion. The truth is that they are usually not worth the paper they are printed on.
Type Two: They already tried to use the Internet for a business, and it failed. This usually happens when somebody fails to implement due diligence. They did everything they heard would work, and they still failed miserably. Their business did not grow, and they lost every penny they spent. This is a sad category to me, because it is the kind I may have actually been able to help if they came to me earlier. There really is a huge marketplace on the Internet. Success is attainable if you have a business with a really good Internet marketing plan. If you are in this category, I wish you the best. If you ever want to try to do it better than before, I will be delighted to visit with you about a solid marketing plan with real numbers.
Type Three: They keep hearing about the Internet and are curious, but they are paralyzed by fears. They do not want to make the wrong decisions, so they make no decisions at all. They do what is comfortable, and they are afraid to push the marketing go button.

How Can I Call Internet Marketing Culture Lazy?

People who have followed my blog or my career for a while realize that I have been very successful in my line of work. Many also realize that I took it on the chin for the small guys about two years ago. I took some big losses in 2009 by standing up for people like this. It caused a loss to my annual income of more than an average twenty Americans earn per year, and postponed a planned 2012 retirement. That happened when huge corporate suppliers and clients alike started laying people off and ceasing services that I sold to my clients. I was a stand-up guy when they needed a stand-up guy. I feel mostly good about my decisions, and never regret holding integrity above profits.

I have always had a bit larger view of the Internet than average, because I provide the services that a lot of Internet service providers sell to their customers. I was not a bastard when I perhaps should have been a bastard the most. When I talked to the woman in the conversation above, I wanted to get back to understanding these people who have hopes without common sense getting in the way. After all, I created a massively successful Internet business back in 2000 with that same positive spirit. Fortunately, I also owned a 13 year old marketing company at the time.

There has been a lot of change in the world since I started my wholesale Internet services company. It was not easy then, and it is even harder to get a good foothold now. The opportunity is greater than ever, but it is incredibly irresponsible to start a new business with no budget, no marketing plan, and nothing but a huge set of blinders on to keep you from seeing anything but a carrot of hope in the distance. Success does not work that way.

What will make you different? I have an idea! Try some marketing talent. If you don’t have marketing talent, you better have money to hire it out.

A Positive Note About Internet Marketing Laziness

I want to leave you with a positive thought about the laziness and easy-money attitudes about Internet marketing. I have been in this industry long enough to see a lot, and I have had a lot of success at it. I have also worked very hard for it. If it helps you to feel any better at all, I will show you three little kids who will never in my lifetime be allowed to think the Internet is an easy place to earn money. These are my children, and I love them too much to destroy them with such nonsense.

11 Important Internet Marketing Laws

There are many legalities in doing business online. It shocks me just how many people are unaware of the laws they break online. I have spent well over a decade learning laws relating to the Internet. There are laws dealing with credit card handling; laws to address copyright; industry-specific laws for things like medical records, legal records, and etcetera; and of course, laws to deal with SPAM.

I believe it is time to consider a list of important Internet marketing laws. They may seem elementary, but I think these are still laws worth addressing. So here is the short list, but of course there are many more. I just want to start you off with eleven Internet marketing laws, and you can add your own comments.

Internet Marketing Law One: Typographical

If you think it has not already been done, you probably just made a typographical error. Google it again. Somebody else already does that.

Internet Marketing Law Two: Urgency

If you think it can be done better, hurry! There are many people who agree with you, and they are already working on it.

Internet Marketing Law Three: Correctness

If you think you have done everything flawlessly and nobody can fault it, blog it, Facebook it, and tweet it. You were probably not as correct as you expected.

Internet Marketing Law Four: Persecution

People will persecute you, but if you do not receive an occasional death threat or flame-letter, it just means you are not reaching enough people. You probably suck at Internet marketing. Give up now, before you anger me. You will not like me when I am angry.

Internet Marketing Law Five: Client Errors

Client errors only happen to new or inexperienced Internet marketing people. Fire them and start over with new ones (but give them my number).

Internet Marketing Law Six: Delegation

If you think somebody else can do it better than you, delegate it. Pay somebody else so you can get back to working on the things that delight your customers. This will save you a lot of headache and lost opportunities.

Internet Marketing Law Seven: Perfection

You are not perfect. Somebody can always do it better than you. This is the Internet for Pete’s sake. See Internet Marketing Law Six. You know what to do.

Internet Marketing Law Eight: Expenditures

Internet fame and fortune will not be yours for the taking with just a couple hours per day when you pay only $299 for the magical out-of-the-box online business. That dude is lying! If he was extremely convincing, it is because he is still really wanting to recoup the $299 that he spent on his magical box. Don’t you think that if it was true, corporations like Google, Microsoft, McDonald’s, WalMart, and Pepsi would have already purchased all of those magical boxes? Well, they didn’t, and that means the one holding the box is a sucker with a few hundred less buck to waste on their next blue sky failure.

Internet Marketing Law Nine: Success

There is no magical pink pony ride to success. Just ask somebody who has done it. Live with it. Success will not be as easy as the job you left. If it was easy, nobody would call it success. They would call it … hmmm … oh yes, they would call it average.

Internet Marketing Law Ten: Public Exposure

If you get really great at Internet marketing, the traditional sense of “public” can be a frightening place. Those people talk, think, look, and act different than you remembered. All that time basking in monitor-glow has made sunshine a creepy notion, and you forgot that offline cash registers actually still make sounds (so old-fashioned).

Internet Marketing Law Eleven: Time

If you are going to make it with Internet marketing, you had better stop wasting time on silly junk like this and get back to work. Just don’t forget to pass it along to all your friends so they don’t get too far ahead of you.