business decorum Archives by Mark Murnahan

Remember Who Your Friends Are … And What They Do, Too!

Everybody Needs Friends: Treat Them Right!

Do you remember who your friends are? If you care about them and respect them, why not consider how they earn a living? Times are hard for a lot of businesses, and it may mean more to them than you think. More than that, you may eventually regret going elsewhere … where they will appreciate you less.

I am reminded of a story of two friends, John and Mike. I introduced them many years ago. John was the number one real estate agent in town, and Mike was seeking to sell his house, and buy another. One day, Mike called John and asked him to evaluate his house for market, and make suggestions for improvements to increase the sale price.

John was glad for the call, and he offered his professional time and efforts to help Mike. A few days passed, and John discovered that Mike had listed the home for sale … but chose a different listing agent. As the top agent in town during a good time in real estate, John certainly did not need the commission, but was disappointed because he had wanted to assist our friend Mike in the sale, and subsequent purchase. Plus, he had been somewhat crudely taken advantage of professionally, by his friend.

John was a bit confused as to why his friend chose a different agent. He feared he had somehow offended Mike with the suggested listing price. No, Mike took his advice on the price. Was it the suggested improvements, the commission, the way he combed his hair? No, no, and no … the agent Mike listed with was a young sexy lady. Mike hoped he may have a chance with her, so he took all of John’s suggestions and listed the house elsewhere.

Once the house was sold and Mike was ready to buy his next house, he still overlooked John. He went with a different agent, again.

I really don’t think John ever felt the same about Mike after that. Whether it is right or wrong, I can understand how John could feel insulted. After all, he would have done the sale transaction and the purchase transaction for his friend, without a commission at all. Ironically, Mike had done a similar thing to me, years earlier, and he was on his way to building a reputation for it.

I am certainly not a fan of implied reciprocity (as you can see if you read that link), but you can probably imagine (or remember) how it feels when a friend overlooks you and buys from your competitor, right? It actually kind of stinks, and it is easy to take it as an insult. It also feels even worse when the friend is hurt by a competitor, when you know you could have saved them the trouble. No, it does not feel satisfying … is stinks!

Have you ever witnessed a friend go somewhere else when they needed something? I have heard speculation about the mindset, but I refuse to understand it or adopt it for my own use. I know that some people think you shouldn’t do business with friends, but I think that is largely a horrible attitude.

I will always try my best to give my business to a friend or acquaintance above a stranger. They may really appreciate that you thought of them, and they may really appreciate the business.

Now I’ll tell you what got me to thinking about this.

What Reminded Me of This?

I recently had a friend ask me if I knew a good option for web hosting. Now, when I say “friend”, I don’t mean just a random acquaintance on Twitter. She has sat at my bar for drinks, she co-chaired a school fundraiser with me, and we have celebrated kids birthdays together. She has sat in my office, and she has even seen and touched the corporate YourNew.com, Inc. Race Team Corvettes. She has also been my friend on Facebook for years. So, I know she knows I do something “Internetty”, and she knows I do it very well. She knows I know a lot about this Internet, so she asked me about web hosting.

The sad thing is that she didn’t really know much about what I actually do, or just how much I am able to help her. It bothered me, but mostly because of how I could benefit her, rather than that her business would pay me a dollar or two per month. That’s why I decided that I am going to start letting more people know.

I know that a lot of people who know me don’t really know or understand my work. I do more than a couple things here on this Internet, but I don’t really promote them very much. It’s mostly kind of an “obvious secret”, in a way, because the majority of my work is operating as “the geek behind the geeks”. I generally don’t promote my services to a retail market, or to friends.

You see, aside from my work as a marketing guy, I founded a company sometime over a decade ago, as a merger of two other companies. That company sells Internet services to wholesale clients … who often sell those same services to resellers, who sell them to the public. We’ve been very successful at that market segment, and retail sales are a minimal part of what we do.

We sell web hosting to web hosting companies. You knew it had to come from somewhere, right? In fact, if you have used the Internet very long, there is a very high probability that you have used services I have created or brokered. The company is still my full-time employer after all these years, and I work there as the CEO.

So, why don’t I promote that to my blog readers? It is mostly because I have enough search engine traffic and recognition in that specific area of the industry that it is just a distraction to what I do here at aWebGuy.com. In any case, if you are in need of any of the many Internet-related services we provide, I’m always happy to help … I am just not out to push those on you. In fact, you may even see Google ads for my competitors right here on my blog. It’s ironic, right? 😉

Let Me Show You Why I Have a Reputation

I want to show you why I have a good reputation in my industry. I’m going to start with this: If you have been a reader for a while, you probably have some sense of who I am. You may even know a good amount about my principles and my ethics. You can probably tell that this is not some big scam waiting to suck you in.

Today, I have decided to offer web hosting to my readers and friends at a rate of $10 per month, or $5 per month for ten or more websites. I was going to say free, but come on … having a guy to call who really knows his stuff has got to be worth something, right? I’m not just offering basic web hosting, either. I will include the same web hosting system that is used here at aWebGuy.com … which clearly exceeds an average demand when it comes to web hosting. I’ll even include all the bells and whistles like website builders, ecommerce tools, plenty of email, and support for about any technology you can dream up … just ask me.

Better yet, I will provide your web hosting technical support, myself. Sure, I will have my tech support folks waiting in the wings in case you encounter something really pressing and I am in the shower or otherwise cannot take your call … but I will be the live voice at the other end of the line if you need web hosting help. How many CEOs do you know who will do that? I’ll bet that “Daddy” guy won’t take your call on his way to pick the kids up at school.

In fact, to take me up on this offer, I want you to contact me directly, and I will personally help you to set up your account and walk you through the basics. Now that doesn’t sound like such a scary offer, does it?

The one caveat is that you subscribe to my blog and keep reading to learn more about how to use that web hosting to build your business. If you are a subscriber, just ring me up and introduce yourself. I’ll be delighted to help you.

If you need web hosting, or you need better web hosting, contact me. I’ve provided web hosting for over a decade, including many websites you know and trust. Maybe even your bank, your city, your hospital, or your university. It’s better to trust somebody you are familiar with than trusting a total stranger.

I also want to add that if you know somebody else in the industry … by all means, call them! I really do believe it is valuable to do business with people you know and trust. I think it is always important to know who your friends are, know what they do, and remember them when they can help.

Oh, and one more thing … this is just for new web hosting accounts. I can’t just give away the whole farm. If you are already paying me more, I’m confident there’s a good reason for it. 😀

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Here is That Extra Time You Asked For

I am excited to hear from you if you can relate to this. Have you ever had somebody ask you to do something and use the phrase “when you have some extra time”? It may be just fine if a friend says that, while asking you to go and do something fun. When it attacks your profession, there is a line to be drawn.

I get this “extra time” concept thrown my way almost every day. I am not joking or exaggerating about this. I know that a lot of other professional service people get this, too. It is hard for a lot of people to understand that when your product is knowledge or time, it still has a cost.

Yes, even those intangible things like rubbing brain cells together to create a spark, blowing on it, and turning it into a flame actually have a real and measurable cost. So, how can we deal with this, and make it understandable to people who think there is some magical “extra time” laying around to hand out for free?

It seems apparent that old sayings like “time is money”, “you get what you pay for”, and “time is our most valuable resource” have outlived their usefulness. They have become as cliché as a passing stranger asking “how are you doing?” They don’t really want to know how you are doing when they utter that. Try it out the next time you hear it, and give them a big earful and you will see what I mean. People often overlook respect for other peoples’ time with a similar disregard.

I suppose that free time can be a touchy subject for a lot of people, but not for me. I am going to share my responses when people slip me this sort of “give me free stuff” proposition. If you are a professional who deals with this, I hope it will help you to manage your time. If you are a time-beggar, I hope this will help you to be more understanding and respectful the next time this absurdity begins to spew forth from the vile and disrespectful hole between your lips.

Defending Your Extra Time

If you are ever faced with similar matters of requests for your free time, think about what else you could be doing with it. These are just a handful of thoughts which stomp loudly through my head when people ask me to provide professional services in my extra time:

Extra Time? My Kids Would Love That! – When I am asked for my extra time, the first thing that comes to my mind is how much my wife and kids would really love it if I had some extra time to share with them.

Have You Tried This at a Restaurant? – I imagine it like this: “Hey waitress, when you have some extra food back there in the kitchen, can you do me a favor, please? In return, I will send my hair stylist in to see you, and I am sure he will make up for all of the free food I gobble while I keep you from earning your tips. He is a great guy, and I am on my way to see him for a free haircut as soon as I leave here.”

Doctor, My Toe Hurts! – “I know that you usually charge people for this, and you have huge liability and licensing in the balance, but since we are not in the office, could you do this one as a freebie?”

I Want a Free Car, Too! – This is funny for me, because I have had car dealers offer to trade me very nice cars for my work. This always reminds me to say: “You want my extra time, but you would like it for free? Let me think about that and get back to you when I have something really large with which to hit you over the head.”

Motorcycle! – See the 47 second video … Enough said.

Misconceptions About “Extra Time” Are Worse in Some Industries

I realize that in some industries, the lines are a bit more blurred than others. In my job role, I find that a lot of people want me to simply “look it over” and to give them a “quick estimate”. Although it may not seem to be a big deal, performing marketing asset reviews and building marketing strategies puts food on my table. It is not just the act of implementing what I know that I am paid for, but also the research and strategy.

Researching, planning, and “looking it over” are things which most people expect to pay for in the accounting, legal, medical, and many other fields. Those of us in the marketing industry are also paid for that time we spend doing the things you may imagine to be “quick and easy” for us. Otherwise, it would be common for us to waste enormous amounts of our time writing boilerplate marketing plans for people who are not serious enough about their business to do what they really should be doing. Worse yet, if we provide a plan and you decide to try and implement it yourself or have an inferior marketing person do it for you, we look stupid for a plan that failed but could have succeeded with abundance.

Drunken Sailor Coming Through!

I could really go crazy with some drunken sailor language on this topic, because in my world it is easy to see it as theft of my goods. It is hard to describe my struggle to be diplomatic about this. Any shred of diplomacy I display comes to me because I understand how people may view this from the outside. After all, the vast number of semi-professionals on the fringe of the marketing industry make it appear so “salesy” and like marketing people are all begging people for their money. It creates an absurd illusion that marketing people earn more money for themselves than they earn for their clients.

The reality is that for true marketing professionals, our time is worth just as much as that iPhone you are holding, that car you are driving, or that house you live in. You see, this is because our time and knowledge is what we earn our living with. We don’t sell items … we help other people to sell items. Our job is to earn more money for our clients.

If I had some extra time, wouldn’t it make sense that I would use that “extra time” to work harder and to sell it at its fair market value? Yes, that’s right … that is exactly what I would do. So, here you go:

Dear Friend:

I appreciate your show of confidence by asking me to look at your business and give you recommendations to make it more marketable. I would be delighted to write you a researched marketing plan and proposal free of charge … if it was free for me, too. You see, my time and knowledge is what I earn money with, just like a shoe store uses shoes to make money.

This is my extra time, right now. I am using it to write this blog so that more people will know who I am, respect the value of my time, and pay me money for that extra time I had laying around.

Respectfully,

Mark Aaron Murnahan

All of my extra time is gone. If I find any more, I will use it to further my business reach. Fortunately, you also receive a benefit from it, because I am providing you with a constantly growing blog archive to teach you things that you can put to use in your extra time.

If you want some of my time to help you decide if it is worth paying for, I have already used that time, too. I used it to build a fantastic reputation, and an exemplary work history.

Whether this reaches you as a person who earns a living with your time and knowledge, or a person on the other side, I hope I have helped you see things a bit differently. I have tried my best to express consideration for both parties, and I hope you will do the same.

Thank you for your time.

Big Ben photo credit to peterpearson via Flickr

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Use Follow Through to Increase Your Influence

I realize upfront that a lot of people do not want to address the topic of the things they neglect to do. It is uncomfortable to think about all the tasks that we forget, or put off until another day. Even the mention of it will probably make a lot of people think I am looking right down my finger at them. Don’t worry, this is not a message of scorn, because you are not the only one who is guilty of that thing you know you should have done but hoped nobody would notice or remember your failure to follow through.

Have you ever been stood up? Maybe it was a date, a business meeting, a telephone call, or many other possible ways that somebody did not follow through with what they told you. Do you remember how that made you feel? I can tell you that it is one way to end up in my recycle bin, and I am not the only one who feels this way.

When people do not follow through on their words, it often becomes a personal matter. It is insulting. It can even strangely cause a sense of shame or guilt for the recipient, with thoughts like “Well, I guess I was not all that important to them.” More often, it will bring about a dismissal of the individual’s words, both past and present. It destroys trust, and in business, that is a tragic fate which often negates even the best marketing efforts.

This topic comes up in my business and personal life once in a while, and the person I discuss it with is my wife. We have operated businesses for decades, and we have each encountered liars, cheats, and thieves on multiple occasions. We have also encountered a lot of people who are not quite classified as horrible, but rather what we call “flakey”. You do not have to look very hard to find flakey people. They are the ones you look at with a cautious eye when they tell you something that will require them to take action beyond the moment at hand.

Losing Influence is Easy

There are a squillion examples of what I call “flakey”. I’ll give you a quick example, but it can be far more subtle. In this example, it is the customer who lost influence and trust. I make this point because it can go both ways, and we each determine our own individual influence which we carry everywhere we go.

My wife and I own a thriving cakes and confections business. Mad Eliza’s Cakes and Confections has become quite a hit in our town, and I have found that cakes are about the easiest thing to sell that I ever brought to market.

Somebody recently placed an order for custom cupcakes from Mad Eliza’s and expressed urgency to pick them up at a specific time on Halloween Day for a party he had scheduled. The time came and went, and that afternoon, my wife rang him on the telephone. He quickly blurted “I’ll call you back in just a minute.” Did he call? No. Did we have some nice Halloween-themed cupcakes to hand out to friends that day? Yes, we did, and people loved them.

Being “flakey” in this case involved a blatant lie, right? Well, probably, but we cannot be so sure. Maybe he was in a terrible accident with a hair dryer and a bathtub. We do not know the whole story, but what we do know is that the lack of follow through took this person down a few notches on our “listening scale”. This guy clearly lost influence. He may not ever need any influence, but what would it look like if I saw him in the waiting room of a friend’s business applying for a job? Stranger things have happened!

With the massive popularity of social media, there is an even more profound importance of doing what you say you will do. People talk about things they find distasteful. Although you may think that lacking the integrity to follow through on simple tasks may not be conversation-worthy, you can bet that if your name comes up, there will be significantly less excitement for somebody to say great things about you. If lack of follow-through becomes a common problem within your company, even with “insignificant” tasks, it can destroy your influence. In more extreme instances, you can end up looking horrible when somebody searches for your company name.

Increasing Influence is Easy, Too!

Trust is a tricky thing. I wrote about the topic of building trust a while back, and it included some good food for thought. The article was titled “Building Trust Comes First in Business, But How?“.

Influence has a lot to do with trust, but influence can also be relatively easy to build if you do what you say you will, even when it seems insignificant to you. Being consistent and always following through with even the “little things” can build up over time.

About a decade ago when my company, YourNew.com, was new, I asked my wife and business partner what made us different. I was trying to distill what would set us apart and make our company great. She had a nearly immediate and very definite answer. She told me “I can sum it up in a single word … Integrity!“ That has always stuck with me, and I think of it every time I tell somebody I will call them back, email something, meet for coffee, or anything else when there is an opportunity to let somebody down by not following through.

I am certainly not a saint, but I try really hard to make a priority of keeping my word, regardless how trivial a matter may seem to me. It may matter a lot to somebody else. I hope that you will try hard, too.

Do you have an example of follow through building your confidence in a person or a brand? Do you have examples of it destroying your confidence? Please share your thoughts.

Photo credit to DigiDi via Flickr

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Social Media Transparency Meets Business Decorum

Decorum is defined by Wikipedia as “Appropriate social behavior; propriety” or “A convention of social behavior”. Since it is a social topic, the standards of decorum are different depending on the social group. Yes, the people count, and what may seem completely innocent to you could be a great offense to another person with a different imposed expectation of decorum. It is more important than ever to be aware of the standards of decorum as it applies to your business, particularly due to the vast mingling of social media in business.

A lot of people talk about transparency in business these days. It is a really fantastic thing, but it can also backfire. I don’t just mean “backfire” like clients finding pictures of the CEO passed out with a couple of strippers. It can be a lot more subtle at times. Transparency and decorum in business does not just have to do with hiding things you want to hide and letting fly with things you want people to see about you. Transparency and business decorum meet when you present the person or company you really are, while also actually being what people expect and deserve of you.

Transparency and Business Decorum

So what about transparency? Some people think that transparency is the latest and greatest new invention, but some of us have always known the importance. Making transparency and decorum play nicely together is even more important.

When you walk into a doctor’s office, you expect to see people in scrubs and suits, behaving “properly”, but if you go to Hooters, you expect to see people wearing tight shirts and helping people get drunk. The same people can be found in either place, but there is an accelerating shift in the sense of what is proper.

I am clearly not the only person who has noticed changes in our world. What defines decorum today is not what defined it in times past. We see examples of business decorum changing all around us. Some of it we like, and some of it we despise. I like wearing blue jeans, and I don’t give a damn what my clients or peers wear. You see, there goes my decorum in a big wreck, but it matches who I am and also my readers’ expectation, which shows transparency. I am a creative geek who thinks stuff up. I am not the guy greeting people at a grand ball.

Business Decorum and Attire Are Not the Same Thing!

Business decorum and attire are not entirely the same thing, although attire is a part of decorum. Since it is an easy way to visualize, I’ll go with it. I am reminded of a funny thing I saw while I was speaking to a group of marketers a couple months ago. It was a great event, with over twenty speakers on different marketing topics. At the speaker’s reception afterward, I visited with Jamie Turner of Bennett Kuhn Varner, Inc.

Jamie gave a great talk about marketing. While we bellied up to the bar and prepared to answer questions about our respective talks, I joked with him that it looked like we were at a coroner’s convention. Everybody was wearing a dark suit, while Jaime and I were the only guys with enough good reasons to come in blue jeans and sport coats. We were the best dressed guys in the whole place by a long shot! Everybody else looked like the guy you saw when your sweet aunt Crystal passed away. Did our blue jeans and more relaxed attire make us less desirable to clients? If so, I suspect either of us would thumb our nose at a pretentious client without ability or sense to read into the numbers anyway. The real mystery is in who could see the market, and who grasped the shift in expected decorum. My bet is that if you walked into the same group of people in another city, you would see a different outfit on both attendees and speakers. We were on the front of the shift for Midwest USA.

That same night, I also saw attendees doing things that were so entirely opposite of the propriety their business suits suggest that I went back to my room and called my wife to remind her how much I love her. OK, here goes my decorum flying off the hook again when I say “Who is proper now, bitches?”

Decorum Guidelines Are Blurry Lines

I work in a very diverse group, in many cultures, and with many varying expectations. So, in my case, my clients know that I can be as prepared in marketing a medical supply manufacturer to hospitals as I am marketing burritos and beer bongs. That is just me. I am a quintessential marketing guy. I do what is best for my clients, while maintaining their transparency and business decorum at the same time. It is like magic how it all comes together, and I love this about my job. I am expected to be a little quirky and occasionally pop off with something unexpected and sound like I suffer from Tourette syndrome (shit). Yes, I am expected to be unexpected, but for many people and companies I would suggest: “Do not follow my example!”

Something I find astonishing is how often a client will be just as quirky and unexpected as me and do something totally stupid in their marketing. I can do it … I am supposed to! Unrestrained expectations of what works for one company automatically working for your company is like testing cyanide to see if it works. It is best to send it to a lab.

In reality, we are all collectively the ones who make decorum exactly what it is. It is a social standard that is bestowed upon us by those around us, and carried on by each of us. When there is a great disparity between your sense of decorum and that which people expect of you in business, you have the making of a marketing failure … or success. Knowing which way to go is where the lines are very blurry, and if you are not up to proper research, you could end up on the wrong side of the cyanide test.

Business Decorum Changes Over Time

Standards change, as they always have over time. It may happen too slowly to notice the change until you see extreme instances. The video below gives examples from a supreme court nomination floundering for smoking marijuana, President Clinton being teased, and then the rush for politicians to talk about their marijuana use. Today USA has a president who spoke to a group of high school kids about getting high and doing blow. That is change! It should also speak to the importance of transparency and decorum working together. Transparency for transparency alone can be very off-putting to many people.

The standards of decorum for one person may be completely repulsive to another. With enough exposure to a change of standards, the repulsion weakens, and we take a “since we can’t beat ’em, join ’em” approach. Considering this from a business standpoint, it can take a whole lot of branding to overcome and win people over. Sometimes this works, but sometimes you are better off to stop trying to beat your market and join them. First, you should know who you are, who they are, and what is proper in your instance.

Tell me what you think about the marriage of transparency and business decorum. That is why my blog has a comments form.