Are You Ashamed of the Social Media Company You Keep?

Haven’t we all had a gawky friend or bizarre “Aunt Nancy” type whom we are nice to but that we kind of keep to ourselves? I think so, and I will be the first to admit it. When it comes to social media, I have found myself cringing at the thought of some people posting something awkward and out of place on my Facebook Wall or letting the public see that I have responded to something that may seem strange to some people.

What do you do about these folks? I will not say that you should go way out of bounds and get racy or scandalous in your social media space, but let’s face it: somebody likes them! Even if they seem a bit off key and you kind of wonder how it may make you look to associate with them, the fact remains that if you like them, they are just another part of your life’s tapestry. Who doesn’t know an Amway representative? I do, and one who comes to mind is a super nice guy named Rick Wright. I met him as a client when my company developed a Website for his auto dealership. Sure, I give him all kinds of grief about his “Amway Gospel”, but I like him, and I like his family. I also know a guy who puts an aluminum foil hat on and talks about all kinds of strange stuff in his Webcast. He is about as odd as a marshmallow on a turkey sandwich and often as offensive as a fart in a steam shower, but he is a very intelligent guy and sometimes talks about some interesting topics. Strangely, he also has a large and loyal following of viewers and participants of his chat.

Being yourself in social media and being responsible for only you is what matters here. It is largely accepted that we are judged by the company we keep, but on the social networking stage, the rules are different. Social media will introduce you to all kinds of people, and you may find a few with a strange attraction. Heck, there is me … the know-it-all who fears nothing, has a broken inner dialog, and keeps on promoting his all-knowing books (Twitter for Business: Twitter for Friends and Living in the Storm). You still seem to find it in your heart to keep me out of your shadows. What other interesting characters make you laugh or provide an interesting point of view? Share them with the rest of us here in the comments.

“I Want My Life Back!” Roars the Crowd

In the mad dash to seek a sense of security in 2009, It seems that “I want my life back” is a pretty common sentiment. This has been a very challenging year for many people. This is not to say that challenges did not exist before, but the troubles people have faced in the past year changed the world. It is a very different landscape today, from a year ago.

When you find yourself frustrated and wanting your life back in place the way it was, you may be looking in the wrong direction. I want to encourage you with some of what I have learned. I think this may help you to feel better, and I know it can help somebody close to you.

Just so that you do not take this as some guy on a pedestal speaking about things he does not know, I will tell you that I lost more since 2008 than most people. My corporation took some big hits, and I cut my own salary to zero in order to keep other people working, I gave up my hobbies, and I sat down to write three books that would each have a benefit to my readers.

Something I found in my work was that a completely different outlook was necessary. Things would not be the same as before just because I worked harder. Believe me, I have tried, and more work is not all that it is cracked up to be unless it is the right work. Simply working harder is not the answer. It takes a different approach and a new look at the world.

It seems that I find a lot of people trying hard to keep their chin up and hold a happy face, but then when you dig a bit deeper, there is despair in their life. For some it is right there on their sleeve, and for others it is closely guarded, but a sense of fear and despair is there for many people. Some are afraid that their life will never be as good as it once was, and some are afraid because of the challenges they have seen in others’ lives.

If you find yourself looking back at a life you once had, or at the positivity you once held, you are looking at a life that was forged on a completely different set of facts. The world holds a different landscape, and in order to see the best future, it is important to take a fresh inventory of life today.

If you can relate to this, or know somebody who can, please find the time to review my newly released book, “Living in the Storm“. I believe it can provide much help for looking forward and creating more joy and inspiration than ever before.

Are Twitter Users as Dumb as I Suspect?

Yes, I really do think that many Twitter users are about as intelligent as the rocks that line the bottom of a fish aquarium. Do I think I am better than them? Oh, if I have to go into that, I will just piss you off and show what an arrogant, annoying, and “better-than-you” person I really am. If you really want the truth, I may have to write another book just to explain how much smarter and better I really am. Hmm? I think I will get to work on that one right away, in fact. This is not because it will sell tons of copies, but just so I can get it off my chest and so that I can continue with more self-righteous Twitter use.

WOW! You must think I am biting the hand that feeds me. After all, I wrote a book about Twitter, I have spent a lot of time masterfully deceiving all of those Twitter minions and collecting their precious dollars to further implement my evil plot to take over the world. *Mwah haa haa haa* laughs the evil scientist of social media. “I will exact my revenge upon you and you will now do as I say.” Oh, yes, that is me … the evil social media scientist, plotting my revenge and sucking up your precious nickels-and-dimes-per-book royalties to fund my massive takeover of all things that once existed in your mind. You have no mind now, and your thoughts belong to me.

OK, a little less drama may be in order. Something that I added in that silly little book was “The Antagonist”. What I did not have time to include as I rushed through my semi-masterful plot to take over the planet was that many Twitter users love to argue and mince words to prove that they are right and you are wrong. There you have it … Twitter sucks. Every Twitter user knows it all, and even if they do not, they will bitch and moan to their friends until you give up and let them have their glory.

Am I kidding you? Yes, partially, but not entirely. I encountered a response just moments ago that embodied the minced words and drama of social media. I sent a message with a lot of meaning behind it, and it was met with an unsupported and negative comment from a Twitter user whom I always kind of saw as positive. This time, it was not. I direct messaged him to ask for clarification. I even stated that his message seemed much unlike himself, because I had always considered him a more positive and upbeat person. He asked his users to chastise me because I had replied to him in a direct (private) message asking for clarification. He claimed that he had tried to keep it private but apparently since I made a general statement that I had an antagonist (no names given) that I would like to invite for a live video Webcast, his stupid little boy gloves were off. I wish he had taken me up on that Webcast. The amazing thing was that the only private message I received from him was a single word, and I quote “Yup.” Well now, that was insightful, right?

The dumbness goes on … A few days ago, I held a video Webcast, as I always do on Friday nights, which allowed for others to join in and turn on their Webcam to participate in fun and social discussions.  A woman came in and started extolling her greatness and stated that she had received a million unique visitors to a given tweet. She then overran the whole Webcast with her recommendations of who we should all follow, and blabbed on for a long time about some crap. This was a Webcast that I have hosted for a long time, and I never met this egotistical loudmouth in my life. While this happened, I was receiving private messages asking why I had not cut her video feed off. Yeah, a million unique visitors from one Twitter message … try again! I think I saw that same thing once, but that was after I bumped my head REALLY hard and then I woke up. She was purportedly a friend of a friend, so I tried to avoid confrontation. *Damn dumb Mark.*

Of course, I waved the bullshit flag on her million unique visitors statement, and she back-pedaled to say that a million people could have seen it. Oh yeah, but that was only if they gave a damn about her blah blah blah about yada yada yada. The craziness came in when she started throwing ultimatums to others that if they did not unfollow me that she would block them or whatever such crap. I had a lot of people telling me that it was a huge drama for her, and for her minions. One of them just keeps on begging people to unfollow me for disrespecting her by asking her to leave. It seems funny how his continued defense of her and expected offense to me could get him anywhere he wants to be in life. Note to that dude: “She will still not get naked with you, Chump.”

To all of this, I have to say “Who gives a damn?” I mean, really, if you do not like me, if you think that I am out there to put an endangered spotted owl between a couple pieces of bread for lunch while I make my excursion to go club baby seals and hunt whales while throwing out matches to light forest fires on my way to the “Ruin the World” convention … click your unfollow button and create a better life! You deserve it … really, even if I do not!

To those who seek joy in arguments and take their win from promoting negativity, you really need my latest book! It is titled “Living in the Storm” and it is available for sale TODAY. Get your life straight and stop nagging others for things that really do not matter to your own life. Heck, if you are so desperate for something to do, maybe you should feed your mind instead of only feeding your egotism. Twitter is not your bitching board for showing how screwed up and cynical you are. It has much more positive uses.

One last note for those Twitter knuckleheads: If I am such an awful influence, why do they keep putting stuff like this about me out there on the Internet?

Create Something Different: Create a Cheering Section

“Create something different” were the words that came to me when I thought to myself “I should really update my blog today.” Then I started to wonder if every great idea that could ever be written about social media has already been written somewhere on a blog.

I unsubscribed from a lot of blogs today, because so many of them just started to look the same. I started to question how many blog posts about the iPhone the world really needs. Whenever there is a hot new craze or breaking news article, bloggers rush to their keyboards and bang out another “brilliant” article hoping that theirs will be the one that becomes a real hit. If they get it retweeted, Stumbled, and dugg enough to reach the front page of Digg, their job is complete. They grew their audience massively, but too many will overlook the question of whether the audience will stick with them.

When I unsubscribed from some pretty good blogs, I realized that I was simply not the fan they needed. They had never created that spark in me that made me a loyal enough fan to be sure I always saw every word they wrote. It was kind of the same old thing just regurgitated in a different way. What was missing was not just creativity, but rather a connection. The ones I felt connected with and that made me feel a part of the relationship remain on my list, and I am their fan.

A Flash in the Pan Mentality

It is easy to take a flash in the pan mentality and see that little glimmer of gold in your prospecting pan when something you do becomes popular. I do not have a problem with that, at all, but I think that it can be too easy to forget the importance of a core cheering section. Creating your cheering section of people who cheer you on, take the initiative to comment on your blog, click to receive your updates by RSS, Twitter, email, or any of the many other methods, and will stick with you over time is far more important. This is your cheering section!

A strong cheering section has been a basis for success from the very beginning. I mean everybody’s success, and everybody’s beginning. From the time a child first attempts to ride a bicycle, it is their core cheering section that helps them to keep trying until they get it right. In the instance of blogging, it is really not so different. It only takes a small number of really loyal friends/fans to create a massive cheering section that keeps you moving forward.

Creating a cheering section has been a huge message in my work as a writer for a long time. In my last two books, I wrote of the importance of relationships. I must really believe it, or otherwise I would stop writing about it. Here is a snippet from each:

From my book, “Twitter for Business: Twitter for Friends” in a chapter titled “Social Networking Takes Dedication” I wrote: “The people mentioned here and many more are among the very important relations I have met using social networking. I communicate with these people regularly online, on the telephone, and in person. They are all parts of a very important network of people whom I can count on to be friends and to have something nice to say about me, with or without prompting.”

These are the people who will spread your work to others and expand your cheering section. They should not be overlooked!

In my new book, “Living in the Storm” I expanded a lot on the importance of that cheering section, and how to create good will in others. Here is a paragraph from the book: “There are many unknown aspirations of those around you. Knowing the motivations of others and finding out how you can help is a great way to rally them. It will make you feel good to do it. It will also often prompt people to wonder about your goals. They may or may not already know what you want in life. Share these things with friends, and build a support network. The best way to begin is by giving to others and becoming one of those altruistic people you admire. Even if you are already doing it, do it more.”

If you wonder how this may apply to social media and blogging, it is simple. Listen to your readers and know what they want. Respond to them, interact with them, and give them what they want. Once you develop your core cheering section, they will often give you what you seek in return. Yes, it is true, giving is the best step toward receiving. I hope that I am able to give you what you want, and a whole lot of it!

Living in the Storm is Complete!

We can surely each recall moments of relief that we feel when an important chapter in our life is completed. The sense of accomplishment is refreshing. I am excited to share one of those moments with you, and I hope you can sense my enthusiasm.

Only moments ago, I submitted my latest book for print. This is not just any book to me. I believe with every bit of me that this book can help others to feel more joy and inspiration in their lives. I have shared some very important lessons that often came to me with great difficulty and sacrifice.

This book is a huge departure from my technical writing of the past two decades. “Living in the Storm” uncovers many lessons of life, people, and creating joy from each step in the journey of our lives.

I sincerely hope that you will take a moment to read the cover below to find a distilled version of what this book offers. We have each heard that we should not judge a book by its cover, but I am asking you to do so. I will sincerely appreciate it if you will express your opinion as a comment to this blog post.

I really want to hear you, so please take a moment to read this cover and tell me your opinion here on my blog.