I have been around this Internet a long time. I suppose I may have a bit of a different view through the eyes of experience, but haven’t we all had some sense of caution about our online identity at some point? For over a decade, I have presented myself as “just me” and never tried to hide a lot of what I think, feel, do, or where and how I live. I guess you could say that I kind of just grew into an acceptance of my job here on the Internet.
In the early days of many Internet users’ online experience, I think a lot of people have a hypersensitive caution of “those people” out there lurking on the Internet and seeking a way to pick them out as the next victim. This is certainly a possibility, and they have all the right and reason for a healthy concern. I have a lot friends and relatives I would never want to see present themselves too openly to the Internet. Many of them would surely be picked off quick as the next identity fraud victim or have their life’s savings re-purposed for the benefit of a historic Nigerian bank transfer scam.
There are a lot of people using the Internet, such as me, whom have developed an understanding of the Internet. This includes the good and bad sides of the Internet. Something we all eventually learn is that the people we meet online are the same people we can meet in a grocery store, our kids’ schools, a restaurant, or elsewhere. The same good people and the same serial killers are found both online and offline. In fact, with the exception of only a small few serial killers, the grocery store would be a common place where nearly all of us may be found at some point in time. I am sorry if I frighten a grocery store clerk or two, but let’s face it … a grocery store gets about as many psychos as any other place. We all have to eat sometime!
A huge difference with the Internet is that it is easy for many people to say and do things that they would otherwise never say or do. It is not only a false act of courage, but also often a lack of consideration that the recipients are real people, with real lives, and with real feelings. I can give many examples of this. I mean, we see it all the time. I will share one that sticks out for me right now from a conversation I had with a good friend who shared comments of a hateful email he received from a viewer of his television news program. He is the Chief Meteorologist and he gives his best effort as a weatherman. Note that this is a guy who is scolded for his work, whether it rains, or whether it is sunny … he cannot make everybody happy (just like the rest of us). He was telling me of a scathing email message he received from a viewer who was angry for his mention of the sponsor of a tower camera that he uses to illustrate the local weather. Seriously … the guy was actually mad at my friend because he would recite the name of the hotel where the camera resides. Not only that, but he spent the time to write a mean-spirited email to scold my friend. I do not know about you, but I see a serious sickness in this. Anybody who will spend their time to hold anger and to project that anger on to others must have a seriously sad life, indeed.
I have witnessed one of these angry and unfortunate souls lurking on the perimeter of my life, but I consider mine more of a stalker than only a sad and depraved soul. I have an antagonist who spends time from each and every day of his life to seek ways to spew his falsely-begotten anger for me upon anybody who will listen. If you are wondering why, or how I have done somebody so wrong that they would waste their energy on me … well, I am wondering that same thing. I mean, I do not remember any outstanding atrocities that would bring about these feelings for a “normal” human being. This brings me to the point … it is not normal … not even a little bit, for somebody to actually pinpoint a complete stranger and focus anger upon them.
When I encounter this, as I did once before from a person claiming to be a vampire and threatening to come to my home and devour my family, I do my best to handle it in a grown up way. I try to ask them why, and how I can make them stop obsessing about me. I do my best to make reparations for whatever perceived damage I have caused them. It eventually becomes a battle between which of the following options I have the patience to muster. Perhaps you have better ideas, and I warmly welcome your comments here on my blog. Here are a couple ways that I see it once it gets out of hand, and early diplomacy and ignoring it has not worked. Yeah, this is a true instance, in case you were wondering.
Option One: “Wow, I am sorry that you feel so consumed by this. Maybe we can sit and talk about it as two grown up human beings. Heck, we may even find out that we are both human and even gain respect for each others’ space.”
Option Two: “Look, Punk … If you continue this path, you may find that you are screwing with a Man, and not a Boy. I have a family of five to support and defend. When you interrupt that, you are treading in a very dangerous and sacred territory. You are way out of your league, and you will do best to get this obsession out of your head, now.”
Yeah, that is right, you reached my radar. I have read your spewing hatred, and I will happily give you many proper rebuttals to show you that what you say, and what you assume, is entirely inaccurate and falsified by your lack of a back-story. If you think you are going to benefit, go ahead. The truth is that you are only going to make this a ridicule of yourself more than me. I have been a grown up and quite kind about your antagonism, but when my wife starts questioning when we will find “this freak” sitting on our porch or peering in our windows, you are crossing a line that you are best to back away from.
What if you are messing with somebody other than me? What if you mess with my family … my wife … my three children? What if I grow concern for it and feel a need to defend? What if I return-pitch and you have to answer these questions?
