SEO Factors Archives - Page 3 of 21 by Mark Murnahan

Do You Accept SEO or Social Media Marketing Contracts Under $10,000?

I could sit here at my computer all day and tease people who are willing to take on small contracts in the field of SEO and social media marketing, or the clients willing to pay them. Many of those clients are broke, and there are a lot of bad people with an SEO and social media flag waving to attract the last of their money.

Giving them a hard time can be very fun, but it is not really all that productive. After all, there is a huge majority of small businesses who seek somebody to help them, but do not have the needed resources for a grand entrance to the online market. There are also some talented marketing minds who like working with small or short-term contracts. I prefer to help bring them together.

I don’t accept those contracts, but not because I am an arrogant jerk who thinks he knows it all. I don’t arbitrarily look down upon those companies, and I don’t automatically look down upon the people serving them. It is just not my market, and I turn away business every day because of this.

If you accept small projects in SEO and social media marketing, I have some free leads for you. I don’t mean just a bunch of shabby sales leads from people hoping to spend an hour of research online to find a free website that will earn them a squillion dollars. I mean real companies hoping to make an entrance to their market.

This does not mean that I am a bad option, or that I am expensive. I return huge profits for my clients, and I am worth many times my rates. It also does not mean that you are bad, or “cheap”. We all have our market space here, and mine is in long-term and well-funded strategic projects. In fact, you can use me as an example to show your potential clients that you are not just trying to rip them off. It really does cost a lot of money and work to create success. Bigger success takes bigger experience, bigger money, and bigger strategy. Those are the projects I accept.

I believe that we both have a similar challenge of building confidence in customers. I even expressed some troubling truths only a few days ago in a long-winded article about a short-sighted customer who has done business with me for years. Check it out for yourself: “Marketing ROI Factor: Are You a Client or a Customer?”

In reality, the upfront cost of an optimal campaign in SEO or social media is prohibitive for the majority of companies. Sure, if they could pony up the money for a well-researched campaign, they could turn over their investment at a much higher velocity. As it is, they will have a higher opportunity cost by cutting corners, but that is often the only option. It is an option that you may be able to deliver.

Even when the cost is not the biggest hurdle, putting money into an online marketing campaign is a damn scary proposition for many companies. Even when and if they can swing the money, they will dip their toe in to check for sharks before they go swimming. It is frequently not the best option, but it is a popular option. Again, it is an option that you may be able to deliver.

Note: Sharks are my friends, and whales are my clients. The other fish are looking for you. You like fish, right?

People probably ask you a lot of questions about this industry. You will sometimes need a third-party resource to help make your point. I am happy to help you ease their tension, and to help them make better decisions. My blog is always here, and there is a lot of useful information in my archive. I don’t even want a finder’s fee to send paying customers your way, or to help you explain the benefits of SEO or social media marketing to your customers. Not at all, because if you have a small budget to work with, the last thing you need is to spiff me with money.

I love spiffs, but I prefer to pay them rather than receive them. Reference my article earlier this year titled “SEO and Social Media Reward: $5,000 for Introduction“. Yes, I really do prefer to pay you a $5,000 finders fee than for you to pay me a hundred. I am a money-spending madman like that. 😉

The Caveat … Yes, The Fine Print

The first thing to do is add your comment here on this article.

Of course, I don’t just want every cockroach in the Twinkies dumpster to hold out their hand for a free crumb. I want to hear from people who actually have a quality value proposition. The big catch is that for each person with their hand out, I will be watching. Yes, I will be looking at you, and judging you. I intend to provide a small degree of vetting. If I like what I find, I may put a spotlight on you in a follow-up article.

Because we are talking about people who looked to me for help, I am not about to mess up my reputation by referring them to somebody who will rip them off. I will watch my server logs to see how much and how long you have read my work. If you have been reading, and if you have subscribed, it is far more likely that we share similar principles. I will also notice if you have been a blog troll or lurker. If you are a non-communicating type of person, start communicating, and stop hiding in the shadows if you want my referral business.

Very Important: I will notice whether you are honest with your comment, and with your communications elsewhere on the Internet.

I welcome you to add your comments to explain your value. Feel free to spam all you like. If you seem spammy to me, I have a delete button for that. I tend to react pretty abruptly to people who annoy me. For example, don’t even think about commenting with your favorite keywords in place of a name. I am looking for people … real people with real names … who want more business.

The upside of my offer is that if you are legitimate, I would like to help my readers with appropriate options, and for us to possibly work together for mutual benefit. I am serious when I say that I want quality people to refer small project business to. If you are good and honorable, we may work together a lot in the future.

I have assembled a phenomenal team for producing massive success, but there never seems to be enough marketing talent to trust with the smaller projects.

I would also ask that in the event that you are ever over your head, that you consult me. You may find that you have enough resource to help that whale of a client after all.

Other Cost-Related Articles
Although it may seem hard to turn away a client only because of their budget, there are minimums I simply don’t work below. For more thought-provoking articles on the cost of SEO and social media marketing, and perhaps help with explaining cost to your clients, I offer the links as follows:

Photo Credit:
Broken Piggy Bank by Images_of_Money via Flickr

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Bashing SEO and Social Media Experts: Humor or Hazard?

I had to ask myself whether this is humor or hazard for me to give a swing at our ever-increasing population of SEO and social media “experts”. I guess the idea gave me just a little guilt pang at first, because I always heard that I should treat people the way I want to be treated. Who am I to tell anybody they don’t have what it takes?

Then I grinned from ear to ear, tucked my sweet love-everybody nature back in my shorts, and put my middle finger in the air. After all, this is not “biting the hand that feeds me” … this is harsh and very real truth. This is about educating, and saving a few lucky others from huge disappointments. This is about shining a spotlight on liars. This is a glimpse of reality! In fact, it is a reality that I intend to illustrate for you very clearly.

Are All SEO Liars?

No, not all search engine optimizers are liars. There truly is an enormous value in the trade, but because of that, it has attracted a lot of liars. Any good SEO knows that there is no reason to lie about the service. They may even help you to understand the most common lies of the industry. For example, here are a couple useful articles: “7 SEO Lies: How to Know When the SEO is Lying” or Good SEO vs. Bad SEO: How to Tell the Difference. Each of these include objective means to weed out the liars and cheats.

On the other hand, many self-proclaimed SEO will make claims like the one I found on Twitter pictured below. I am only listing one, but not because I have a problem with this one in particular. I just picked this one at random, but I actually dislike all of the squillion others out there lying to people about SEO. I just don’t want to waste more time making a huge list of them.

The Classic 2000 Website Visitors Per Hour Pitch

Khubah Jogja offers the opportunity to “make money online” and “get 2k visitor per hour”. That’s great, right?! I guess it may sound great, but then I checked out this Twitter user’s website and imagine what I found … some reality! The funny thing is that they actually have their website statistics viewable to the public using a service called “whos.amung.us”.

The biggest hour I found was three visitors, and the maximum visitors in a day was sixteen. In the image shown here, the one visitor represented was me. That is kind of a stretch from 2,000 per hour.

I don’t want to leave this up for too much confusion, so I checked with Alexa, Open Site Explorer, and others. Two thousand visitors per hour was not to be found. Then again I knew that already when I saw the article claiming that keyword meta tags make a big influence in search ranking. Not just that it was total crap, the article was not dated 1998 … it was from this year! If you think that old meta tags pitch is true, it will serve you well to read “SEO Meta Tags: Oh, You Must Be Another SEO Expert!”

Social Media Expert / Cattle Farmer

Perhaps not every instance is so extreme as the social media strategist / cattle farmer depicted here, but I really need to share this with you, because it almost made me pee myself with laughter and sob at the same time!

It is funny, but actually sad when you think of how widely accepted total confusion has become in social media.

I know that farming and ranching is hard work. It is really tough to get ahead in that industry, so why not augment the income and work as a social media strategist? That may just be the perfect fit!

Social Media Strategy ... or Cows ... We Have it All!

Yes, you can call me a jackass for singling this poor dear out. I mean, after all, at least she didn’t use a picture of some young hot chick in her profile, the way so many others do. In fact, she looks downright sweet, and wholesome. She is probably a really nice person, too … but she is also lying to herself and others. Her appearance would absolutely not turn me away if I was in the market for cows and chickens. Social media strategy, on the other hand, requires something other than just being sweet.

According to her website at “Lynda’s Social Media Strategy“ she is suggesting to “Use Social Media to Promote Your Business”. She even has descriptions and very low prices for her services. It includes pricing for a service that I pointed out as an absurdity and largely a rip-off a while back when I wrote “Hourly Rate for Setting Up Social Media Profiles?!”

How We Do it Down on the Social Media Strategy Farm

Contrary to her own advice and service offerings, when I clicked on the social media links on the right side of her page where it says “Follow”, I found a non-existent Blogger profile, the link to edit a LinkedIn account, links to Digg and Delicious (but not to a specific profile), an incorrect Feedburner link, a Facebook personal profile with 28 friends, a MySpace account, and a Twitter account.

Being a social media strategist, you may think she would use social media a lot. She was pretty scarce across the board, but I enjoyed this example. Within the Twitter account, the last five updates included a lot of weather change as follows:

“Snow outside. Good time to do some ghostwriting.” (on 20 January)

Then, five tweets and six months later …

“It’s hot no rain pasture’s drying up feed bill going up everything’s going up except my pay. Oh well…could be worse.” (on 19 July … earlier today)

I thought to myself that maybe she is actually doing what she says, and using her social media strategies for her own business down on the ranch. No, there was not a single social media instance of anything whatsoever at the Belle Manor Farms website. Go ahead … see how Lynda’s social media strategy is working out for her. Check out the Lynda’s Social Media Strategy Facebook Page that I only found after looking it up on her personal Facebook profile (not on her website). Maybe you could give it a “Like” for sympathy, since nobody else has.

Perhaps I’m just not clear on this yet, but it seems that Lynda, like so many others, is struggling with confusion of the difference between social media strategy and social media tactics.

Now Let’s Bash Murnahan

I know I may seem to be a real jackass when I ask questions like “Why Do You Want to Become an SEO and Social Media Expert?”

Maybe I’m just jealous of them for having a lack of a conscience. Maybe I’m bitter with them for becoming experts without actually having to spend decades to learn about marketing. Maybe I’m pissed because they get to have fun jobs outside of the Internet, while I am stuck here all day as CEO of a decade-old Internet company.

Sure, if I could have done it so easily, I would have a lot less gray hair today. Let me explain something for you, though, before you start calling me names.

Just because a person has a new computin’ machine does not mean they have an equal shot at this mythical money generator that people make the Internet out to be.

Just because “everybody” said you will miss huge opportunities by not being on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and the many other social metworks, it does not mean those “huge opportunities” are what they told you, or that they will come to you without equally huge effort.

Maybe “everybody” was exaggerating just a tiny bit when they said you would “earn millions online … easy … in your pajamas!” Maybe “everybody” was not lying to you, but just made it a little easier to lie to yourself.

There are a lot of damn liars out there on the Internet! Worse yet, the online marketing fields of SEO (search engine optimization) and social media marketing have them breeding like cockroaches. I think that an astonishing number of them are lying to themselves.

I hope you don’t let them lie to you, too. There are no “innocent victims” in these cases, because we each have the same opportunities to gather due diligence. The victims are better described as “ignorant victims”.

So, was it humor or hazard that I chose to share this with you? In my opinion, the humor is that anybody could actually be fooled by such absurdities. The hazard is that such absurdities even exist.

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5 Spam Tactics Good People Use to Kill Business Efforts

I am being pretty generous by using “spam” and “good people” in the same line, but I am trying to be forgiving. As surprising as it may seem, there are instances where otherwise good people will do spammy things which tarnish their business hopes. I don’t mean the canned meat, SPAM®, either. I mean the spam that happens when people try anything to get your attention.

I view spam as a desperate attempt to be productive while using counterproductive means.

When I say that it is an otherwise good person, it is often simply because they don’t know any better. They get confused by so much hype about the Internet, and end up doing spammy things that tarnish their business hopes, and hurt their chances for successful business communication.

Spam Tactic Number One: Company Names

It may seem innocuous to use a company name instead of a human name, but there is a time and a place for each. You may think this is subjective, but the numbers have come in, and if you are making this mistake, you are very likely hurting your odds.

Regardless what some flunky want-to-be “expert” may have told you, if you are not communicating explicitly on behalf of a company entity, it is best to use your human name. Even in those cases when it is “all business”, if you will be accepting any feedback, you should include your name. You know … the one your parents gave you.

An instance of this spam offense which has come back to hurt thousands of unwitting businesses is creating a Facebook Profile under the company name, but then having it deleted for a Facebook terms of service violation. Why would Facebook delete a profile with a business name? The answer is easy … because they should have been using a Facebook Page. If you don’t know the difference, or just how much it matters, you would be wise to read “Facebook Profiles Are Not For Business … Facebook Pages Are!”

You may argue the perceived benefit of using a company name in place of a personal name all you like, but before you get too set on your opinions, you may want to read an article titled “Social Media Profiles: Keywords, Company Names, and Humans“. It will explain how some of the best researched companies in the world are handling the matter. If you think that using your company name as a replacement for your given name is a good idea, think again!

There are many instances when the brand of a person is far more important than the brand of a company. Sometimes the company name adds authority to the person, but it is even more common that a person adds authority to the company. Heck, in my instance, only a small percentage of people I communicate with are aware that I am CEO of a successful decade-old wholesale Internet services corporation. The ones who need to know (customers and potential customers) are very aware. It shows up on their bill.

A real person with a human name will win the hearts and minds of people over companies every time. Many successful corporations know this, and prove it to be true.

Spam Tactic Number Two: Being False

Claiming to be something or somebody else is just asking for trouble, but it happens all the time. It is more common in personal communications than in business, but it happens in business more than you may like to imagine. This is done in many forms, but I will classify it as “Hot Chick Spam”.

I recall a specific instance of a beautiful lady (or “hot chick” if you prefer) whom I quickly realized was not what she claimed. It was a man who used a name and photograph of a beautiful woman instead of his own, because he was sure that more people would listen to and buy from a good looking woman.

There are certain word patterns, even in short Twitter messages which can give away even the best lies, as well as other obvious discovery tools. In the instance of my “hot chick” example, it only took a moment to figure out that it was a man, so I looked up the website owner with a WHOIS lookup and made a phone call. As I expected, when I asked to speak with the woman from Twitter, the truth came out really quick!

He got over this absurd plan for success once I pointed out how easily he could be exposed. His company also ended up hiring me to handle the search engine optimization for a highly competitive million+ page website. No, will not tell you who he/she was … under any circumstances! What I can tell you is that their business communications are far more legitimate and far more effective now that the company is represented by real people.

Spam Tactic Three: Spammy Blog Comments

If you have a blog, you surely get spam comments, but did you know that some people actually think it is a good strategy? This spam offense aligns with the previous two, but it goes further, and it can become a very destructive tactic for the spammer and the blog owner alike.

This is What Blog Comment Spam Looks Like to a Blog Owner

This spam tactic is generally executed by using industry keywords (or a company name) in place of a proper name when posting comments to a blog. Since those keywords will then be the link text pointing to the spammer’s website, it is assumed that it will be great for search engine ranking. It makes sense, right? If it could only be so easy, don’t you think everybody would do it? Then it would just be a battle to see who could produce the largest amount of spam. Actually, that does pretty well sum up this kind of spammer’s mentality, but they are so wrong, and they kill their chances of success like you may never believe! Search engines are simply not this stupid.

Ironically, this particular tactic was also previously implemented by the company I mentioned in “Spam Tactic Two.” In their case, they had paid some guys in India to write thousands of pithy blog comments including their website links. They got some extra website visitors out of it, but not the paying kind. When their website was brutally punished by Google and other search engines, they were ready to jump out of a third story window. You know … not really committed to death, but definitely upset enough for a jump.

If you think that something may be spammy, it probably is. I recently replied to this kind of spammer, and he actually answered back saying that he was not a spammer. My answer to that was as follows:

I am glad you responded. I just figured it was pretty unlikely that Mother Business Card and Father Brochure actually came together and decided to name their little beloved one “Logo Designer”.
REF: SPAM or Not SPAM? The First Test is Your Name!

Many people agree with my view of blog spammers, but apparently some people still don’t grasp the downsides.

Spam Tactic Four: Follow Me!

There are many obvious examples of this spam tactic found every minute of the day on Facebook and Twitter. It is commonly expected that having a lot of people “follow” what you have to say will matter. But guess what?! Those people who are quick to follow you without a good reason are also likely following about a squillion others just like you. They aren’t paying close attention and just waiting for the right time to send you a wallet full of money. They are usually just following you so that you will follow them back. You know, because that way you will both gain some amazing authority.

The truth that is hard to drive home is that more is not always better. I have given examples of this more times than I can count, but people usually have to make their own mistakes before they learn.

It stunned me how many people thought it was a useful action-list when I wrote a completely smart assed article titled “How To Become Popular on Twitter Without Actually Being Useful“. Apparently a whole lot of people missed my disclaimer that stated as follows:

“If you follow this list without deviation, you are sure to become massively popular. Just remember that if anybody says “I hate you and hope you die a miserable death” or “You deserve a really bad case of herpes” … those people are just jealous because they will probably never be as popular as you.”

It does not always have to be an extreme overstatement or effort to be spam-like. If you want people to follow you just to feel better, try buying a feather … they tickle, too!

This obese woman selling weight loss has offered to help me build a huge following on Twitter. — Obese Woman Selling Weight Loss

When the “Twitter Follower Frenzy” or “Facebook Please Like Me” epidemic gets to be so desperate as this obese woman selling weight loss and trying to tell me how to grow a huge Twitter following, it is a clear failure (click the image to enlarge). Note: She has six people following her. Perhaps she meant something else when she said “huge”.

If tweeting and facebooking to a large number of people who do not care about what you have to say is really so useful, how are you measuring that success? Is it in the bank?

People who fall into this addictive need to spam more disinterested people will be better off measuring the cost of their missed opportunities from all that wasted time and energy. If you have fallen prey to the disease, it is time to regroup and get some help to develop a better strategy.

Spam Tactic Five: Shooting at Innocent Bystanders

Trying to reach everybody, instead of a targeted audience is really the widest use of spam. Do you remember how I defined spam as a desperate attempt to be productive while using counterproductive means? Trying to reach everybody is about the worst conceivable spam of all. It not only wastes the time and resources of the spammer, but can create a lot of other possible business communication side-effects.

A Lot of Ammunition is Good, But Sharper Aim is Better!

Before trying to market something, it is important to remember that “everybody” does not want what you offer for sale. “Everybody” is not a target. Lack of focus is the most costly mistake any company can make in marketing, and is often the biggest missing piece in a failed campaign.

The task of targeted marketing using customer modeling based on demographics, psychographics, and propensity analysis really does make the difference. You can count on it!

If you target the right people, and stop shooting blindly, you will no longer need to reach all of the people. The right ones will do the “heavy lifting” for you. When others are promoting your virtues on your behalf, it is no longer spam … it is marketing.

Spam Tactics and the Ignorant

Sure, anybody can be guilty from time to time, and sometimes a small degree of spamminess is just an accident. Ignorance does not mean a person is stupid, but simply that they don’t know any better.

I know that some people will try until their last breath to defend these atrocities. That would be easier than admitting to making huge errors. Maybe they believed a bad pitch from an ignorant marketing agency, or they believed the fairy dust that so many people are promoting each day about Internet marketing.

Sometimes it is the company itself that is the perpetrator of the spamminess, but even more often it is because they trusted the wrong people to handle it for them. I have encountered many companies that believed a crooked marketing consultant, without ever caring to understand whether their tactics were sustainable, and an overall strategy was never even a consideration.

Once the pain sets in, it is too late, and they end up paying somebody like me a whole lot more money to fix their mistakes. That is, to fix the mistake of their prior ignorance.

An even more tragic result is that many companies will keep trying to do the things which do not work, just because they refuse to listen to good advice. When their marketing isn’t working for them, they assume the whole thing just doesn’t work.

These are the people I call the willingly confused. I generally try to be forgiving and patient with them, but those are not my strongest traits. The reason my patience often fails is not because of ignorance, alone, but rather the apathy which so often comes along with it. When you throw a dose of apathy on top of ignorance, the ignorance is sustained because they don’t care enough to overcome it.

Without apathy, ignorance is much easier to fix. When people care to do better, and to know more, ignorance fades with each thing they learn. If you know somebody going down this path, you will be kind to warn them.

Photo Credits:
No Pooping by johannal via Flickr
World Cup Babes Australia by gnews pics via Flickr

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The Biggest Blog Failure Ever

You may be thinking I am going to write about some huge blog scandal that embarrassed a CEO, relieved somebody of their U.S. Senate seat, or made somebody in Hollywood look like a complete loser in some way. Those stories are abundant, and even quite popular, but they bore me. I’ll save that for the day when I crash my head into a speeding train and decide that there is value in luring brainless zombies to read my blog.

For the time being, I still plan to write for you business brainiacs who care more about building a business than the latest juicy gossip or fad-of-the-day.

Today, I want to discuss an even far more punishing type of blog failure that comes with either having a blog without a strategy, or not having a blog at all. First, for anybody muttering some nonsense like “Pffftt … Blogs, schmogs … who needs ’em?” you may be wise to read “10 Really Good Reasons to Blog“. In any case, just hold your seat and pay attention for some eye-opening considerations.

Maybe you think a blog is just for making an online diary or to directly promote something, but take a breath and give me your attention. I want to start by pointing out some different types of blogs and their respective social media strategy.

Types of Blogs and Blog Strategies

There are obviously many different types of blogs, and each has its own strategy. I cannot list them all here, but I want to give you examples. Some of them are just for the purpose of bringing squillions of people to click on something brain-numbingly stupid to waste their time. Other blogs are designed to help brain-numbed people to believe that the Internet will give them “easy money”. We all love these blogs. I say “we all”, but the ridiculous numbers don’t lie. In fact, check this out … I brought some numbers!

Brain-Numbing (but Hilarious) Blogs

These are some very successful blogs, but many people do not even comprehend where the success is. They are ad-supported, and some sell shirts, hats, and other stuff, which is fine, but it takes a lot of visitors to make money this way. I mean a lot! If I had to guess their revenues, I would bet most of these earn their company a lot more money than your company blog. They are spending a lot more on personnel, too, because that is often what it takes when a strategy requires huge traffic numbers.

icanhascheezburger.com: As the home of “lolcats”, the “I Can Has Cheezburger” blog appeals to people’s love of cats, and it brings people back frequently to look for the latest funny stuff cats are doing. It is working like a charm, too. The website is ranked in the top 1,000 websites visited by Internet users in USA and in the top 3,000 in the world, according to alexa.com. The Internet collectively says “we love this stuff!”

failblog.org: “Fail Blog” fascinates readers around the world with the astonishing stupidity of people. General “run-of-the-mill” stupid people doing stupid things is a sure bet to help otherwise productive people to melt brain cells and burn hours. Fail Blog is ranked very similar to icanhascheezburger.com, and is a part of the same extensive network that reports more than 20 million website visitors per month. Cheezburger Network takes about 65 people and a lot of money to manage it well. If you don’t have that kind of manpower, creativity, and dollars, this strategy probably won’t work for you.

peopleofwalmart.com: How could this one possibly fail? “People of Wal Mart” lures people in by the nose and helps them stick it high in the air. Even a brief look at the People of Wal Mart website will show you how much better you are than those horrid looking creatures cruising the aisles of Wal Mart stores. This website is roughly in the top 2,000 most visited websites in USA and in the top 10,000 in the world. Yes, we really love to make fun of people … especially when we can see how clearly “better” we are than them.

It May Be Funny to You ... But Just Keep Laughing, Sucker. I Can Has Money!

Socially Numbing Blogs

People love to read about social media. Although there is no obvious correlation between wasting time reading everything you can about the latest iPhone apps or social media corporate buyouts, these blogs are taking it all the way to the bank! Don’t take this all wrong, they have some reasonably good information sometimes, but between the overt brand bias and repetitive drivel, I feel compelled to announce these with a bit of a snide slant. In any case, they are about as popular as bacon.

mashable.com: This social media giant is astonishing! Mashable is a time-sucking cult favorite of glassy-eyed people hoping to be on top of a social media wave. It commonly ranks in the top 200 most popular websites in the world. Why? Perhaps it is because the whole world wants to become a social media expert by reciting what they read at Mashable. As long as this is the case, it will be wildly popular. If you want to know which technology company is doing what, or which iPhone app is better, it is fine. Click on an advertisement while you are there … they love that!

techcrunch.com: Tech Crunch is kind of like Mashable with a bad toupee. They have a couple reasonably decent writers with good intentions of reporting on technology issues, but let’s be serious … will that make you an expert? I guess it is great if you want to know which online game company was just purchased for a billion dollars, or the new fads in cell phones. Will you really do more business if you read everything Tech Crunch reports? The answer is “probably not”, but if you want to sound impressive to a non-paying audience, you may want to retweet everything you see there, and expand upon it in your own blog. Just don’t plan on getting rich that way.

Socially Engaging Blogs

It is a very popular myth that “engagement” in a community is a key to online success. It has its high points, but it also has some pretty big downsides. Note that I did call it a myth.

Being engaging and engaged can provide amazing benefits, but without an appropriate strategy, engagement still fails miserably from a business standpoint. If you are just engaging an audience because you think it will bring success, think again. You can have a squillion buddies, but if it has no relevance to your business strategy, you can spend a lot of time being unproductive with those buddies. You may not like it, but that is the harsh truth. I can be your friend, and I may even help you to spread the word about those awesome knitting needles you are trying so hard to sell, but I only have so many friends interested in knitting.

I wrote about some engaging bloggers recently, and they provide great examples of reader engagement. These bloggers are hard-workers with a lot of talent, and they can show you some fine points. Here is the list of “9 Bloggers Who Teach the Value of a Strong Blog Community“. These blogs generally don’t need huge numbers of readers, and are often very targeted toward specific topics that attract specific readers. This is commonly a much more readily achievable type of blog strategy for individual bloggers or small companies.

Building relationships and engaging with others is very important in building an online success, but it is still not a magic success potion. Sorry pals … but somebody had to say it.

Commonalities of Failed Blogs

Back to the story line, I want to submit that there is not just one single thing that will make a blog successful. The biggest missing piece I see among unsuccessful blogs is a strategy. Popularity is great, but it takes a lot of work, and usually a lot of money to make a blog popular enough to succeed on traffic volume alone. Carefully curated content geared toward a popular topic is a way to become popular, but that can still fail if there is not a targeted and well-defined expected outcome.

I see it all the time that the first reaction of companies who don’t see great results from their blog is to give up. Instead of making the needed strategic adjustments, they assume it was a bad idea that just doesn’t work.

A truth that most people are slow to accept is that if the blog isn’t paying the bills, it is not the Internet public’s fault … it is their own. In the case of most blogs, and statistically, probably even yours, the results are a bit less than hoped for. So, do you give up, or do you shift gears?

It is easy to see common factors of successful blogs. Some of the blogs I mentioned have a sizable staff that work hard every day, others have a small staff of one. They are diverse, but each of them have some things in common. They each have a strategy, and they each understand that nothing comes from nothing. Doing “nothing” is popular, too, but that is probably not a good strategy for you.

A Competitive Strategy

A strategy that is extremely popular and competitive is to rub a genie’s lamp, keep your fingers crossed, knock on wood, pray like a nun in a whorehouse, and hope that your blog will somehow become a huge success without hard work. That is just dandy, but it is a pretty weak attempt that usually yields even weaker results.

So, in case you may wonder, what is my strategy? After all, it would be silly to write about it if I didn’t have one. I cannot tell you the whole thing, but I can at least give you enough to help get some thoughts flowing. Maybe you can pick up some ideas about your own strategy if I share some key points of my own.

Blogging is Competitive and Requires Strategy

Is it the ads? No, they barely pay for my coffee and cigarette bill. Is it the cozy notion of having a squillion friends who will send flowers when I die of starvation from blogging instead of working for a living? Well, not exactly, but you are certainly welcome to send donations to The Murnahan Memorial Fund, c/o Widow Murnahan, PO Box 4426, Topeka, KS, 66604. Widow Peggy thanks you in advance.

I take a mix of each of the above approaches, plus some other special considerations. I discovered, long ago, that when I write things that people find useful mixed with amusing (or at least not dreadfully boring), and I make good connections with people, they share it with others in their social circles. That helps me to achieve my objectives of tens of thousands of incoming website links to my work, high website traffic, and ability to rank extremely well in search engines for darn near anything I choose to target. This also helps me to establish credibility as an authority in my industry and provide irrefutable proof that I am very good at my job. This is a pretty sound strategy, overall, and it can apply to many other types of industries.

Each of these things help more people know to my work. Some of them will realize that this Murnahan character has uncommon talent and is quite good at creative marketing. A tiny few of my readers will realize they could do even better with additional professional help, and they contact me to develop their marketing strategy, and to execute the plan. That is how I get paid. That is my success. You didn’t actually think I do all of this because I’m bored, did you? Most bloggers don’t work so hard just because they have nothing to do.

The Worst Blog Failure in Summary

In concert with a previous article about reasons to blog, I also explained reasons blogs fail. I may be the only person that this amuses, but if you search Google for either of the terms I just linked to (reasons to blog and reasons blogs fail), you will find my work quite readily. That would never have happened if I didn’t write something about it, implement my strategy, and execute it better than others.

Doing nothing, or doing something without conviction is an easy path to giving up. The same holds true for anything from talking your first love out of their pants to talking your next customer out of their money.

How is your strategy coming along?

Photo Credits:
Cat in a big box by CelloPics via Flickr
Shaved Cat by Jamie (ajmexico) via Flickr
Cat on bird house by Josh (joshme17) via Flickr
Roslyn_cat by Joshin Yamada (ocean yamaha) via Flickr
Fail Cat by Tara Hunt (miss_rogue) via Flickr
Doomed by Robin Corps (robad0b) via Flickr

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11 Humorous Answers to Dumb Google Searches

You may wonder how I will make this turn out to be both useful and humorous, but have a little faith, my Google searching friend. This is a list of my answers to some the dumbest Google searches I recently found in my server logs. Before I cut straight to my list of absurdities, allow me just a moment to set the stage.

I love SEO. There, I said it! I really do love my work, although it is usually much more fun to do it than to explain it to people. I am the first to suspect that, as I have often said, “When I Go to Hell, They Will Have Me Selling SEO“. Yes, fun to do it, but tortuous to explain it.

One of the reasons I love SEO so much is the great humor and insights to the human mind that it offers. This is also one of the reasons you may sometimes find me to be condescending and uppity, because there are truly some dumb people out there. Yes, saying that makes me a jerk, but actually more of a “PECKER” (Reference: “New SEO Acronym to Replace SEO by 2012“).

It takes all types to make a species, but wow … just “Wow!” I am a fan of people, but sometimes I have to feel just a little tinge of embarrassment for the floaters in our genetic pool.

The term “SEO”, for the uninitiated, is an acronym for “search engine optimization”, and as a practitioner in the field, it means that I can generally rank at the top of the list for damn near anything I choose. That is why companies pay me to provide this service for them. Yeah, can you believe it? Being ranked at the top of search results is actually worth paying for. That is totally crazy, I know!

Don’t hate me for it, because it comes with a touch of insanity, and a good dose of time. Like well over a decade of practice and studying SEO to know what works.

A good amount of this particular achievement comes down to having a squillion website links pointing to my blog from other websites, and having just a touch of Murnahan wit and charm. OK, you can call it “BS”, or whatever you like, but let’s face it, some websites will rank well in search engines, and some will never be indexed for popular searches. This one ranks particularly well, which comes with a great potential for humor.

I previously wrote about the downside of being obsessed with statistics and over-monitoring of user data, but it is also very important to know how people are finding a website. It tells us what we need to know, and how to make things even better. When you dig really deep, it can sometimes make hot coffee shoot uncontrollably from your nose as you laugh. This is especially the case when you try to picture what in the world those people were actually hoping to find in their online search.

NOTE: Although I am a huge proponent of targeting a market based on specific propensity of readers to become a customer or to refer business. Targeting is why I write things to attract specific searches from specific people. For example, I wrote about NASCAR start and park teams to reach the racing community, while offering good marketing thoughts.

With the good comes the bad, and sometimes it all goes wonky. If you rank well for the useful search terms, always it comes with unexpected absurdities. Although some of these may not seem so humorous on the surface, if you squint and look closely, there is something just a bit funny going on here.

Each of these searches have come in many variations of the search, and each is an actual verbatim quote taken from the top 5,000 searches in my website analytics within the past 30 days (typographical errors and all).

Dumb Google Search One: “icecream for sore bum“

OK, I hate to drop this little peach so early, but this one does set a certain tone. This is an actual search that has been repeated in many various forms, including some that were probably typed urgently like “what;s good for hemorrhoids” (Twitter, of course!). It leads users to an article that asks “Is Twitter Good for SEO?“. The article may actually be useful, but I didn’t write this one for bums. If your butt hurts, I really don’t have a lot for you, but dozens of people seem to think that ice cream may help.
Dumb Google Search Two: “can your testicals reconnect them selves“

I can forgive this fella for misspelling testicles, and for not realizing that “themselves” is actually just one word. This came from a Korean speaking individual in Burke, Virginia, USA. What I picture is a really frustrated little Korean guy sitting cross-legged at his computer screaming at his lover and murmuring “You betteh be right woman, oh I keow you!”

I actually took a screen capture of this one when it happened. My guess is that he did not want to call 9-1-1, just in case he actually ended up killing somebody. I hope that poor guy is alright! I also hope he does not come for my testicles for wasting his precious moment with my article titled “SEO, Social Media, and Marketing Balls“. In my defense, I did not use the word “testicles” in the article, even once, and there was no medical advice.
Dumb Google Search Three: “best hookers“

I suppose I kind of asked for this one when I titled an article “Hookers Write the Best Blogs“. What I didn’t realize at the time was just how many people would be performing Google image searches for pictures of hookers. I searched it one time, just to see what they were seeing. A few transsexual hookers and other creepy images later, I washed my eyes out with Listerine and vowed to never do that again!
Dumb Google Search Four: “buy termites online“

Who knew that termites were so in-demand? I see a lot of variations for the query of where to buy termites. Although I am sure a number of these are people seeking to study termites in their laboratory, it makes me wonder how many angry ex-husbands are dumping these voracious little monsters around the foundations of their former homes. For those looking for termites, I offer this article titled “Things You Cannot Sell Online“. Termites are not one of those things, and it is highly unlikely that what you sell is on the list, too!
Dumb Google Search Five: “blog trolls“

I wonder what they want with a blog troll. Yeah, I am sure that some people are just looking for a picture of a blog troll, but nobody I know has actually ever seen one. They sneak around in the shadows of the Internet. Here is what I had to say about them: A Few Words About Blog Trolls and Lurkers.
Dumb Google Search Six: “cheap sutures“

This one is really dumb for a couple reasons. Sutures are those things they use to stitch people up after surgery. They generally come at an extremely high cost to we consumers. I guess maybe there is not enough markup in the medical field, so they have to find their sutures cheap so they can earn an extra four dollars on a $40,000 surgery.

The other reason this one cracks me up is that I was once contracted to place a client at the top of searches for cheap sutures. They still owe me many tens of thousands of dollars, but then, that is why I now hold five of the top ten search results for their company name, “Suture Express“, along with their coveted “cheap sutures” and the names of each of their executives. Oops! 😉
Dumb Google Search Seven: “what happens if i set up a facebook page and dont use it?“

This one should be simple. What else could a person logically expect would happen? Your computer will be infected with a virus that causes it to explode into a squillion pieces. I would not suggest this, especially with a laptop, but if it happens to you, just Google me when you need those testicles reconnected.

In case you need to know more about Facebook or their computer-exploding virus, here is more information on the topic.
Dumb Google Search Eight: “SEO meta tags“

This one is actually a very popular search, and it blows my mind. I mean, seriously, just look at the source code on any one of my blog’s pages if you need a mental re-adjustment on the topic of SEO tips. I would like to give you a quote from the article these search patrons find:

“As long as there are people who ask “do meta tags help with SEO” there will be plenty of people to con them out of their money.”

I hope you are not searching for information about meta tags. If so, you really should stick around and read some more.
Dumb Google Search Nine: “what to do when your too good at your job“

My answer would perhaps be to quit the job and seek something better. Please just don’t make it a writing career until you at least learn the difference between your and you’re. Sure, maybe this is no big deal, but if “your too good at your job”, you’re probably going to need a better resume writer.

This search landed the user on an article titled “Are You Too Good at Your Job?“, but what I think they really needed was to learn about Cousin Prolly in the article titled “Grammatical Reasons They’re Taking Their Business Over There”

Another idea for being too good at your job is to give it all up and become an SEO and social media expert. That seems to be mighty damn popular (in searches, too)!
Dumb Google Search Ten: “things people find“

My first thought here is “huh?” I am not so sure why, but a lot of searches just don’t make any sense to me at all. Apparently a limited few people are trying to find things people find. What they actually find is an article titled “Crazy Things People Search For” which addresses the ways people use search engines. It kind of goes well with this piece, so you may enjoy it.
Dumb Google Search Eleven: “how much does seo cost“

This one actually comes with a whole lot of related searches that are equally as ridiculous. Some of those are social media rates, seo hourly rate, how much does it cost for SEO, social media marketing cost, how much will a social media strategy cost, and literally thousands more.

What these searchers are obviously completely terrified and confused about is that there is a vast difference from one SEO to another. Asking the cost without knowing what to expect or understanding that it is not about cost, but rather increased profit, is about as wasteful and dumb as any question ever asked.

Have you seen the Grand Canyon? I would like to submit that the difference in good SEO and bad SEO makes that thing look like a crack in a sidewalk.

My Dumb Summary of Dumb Google Searches

I guess eleven is enough for now. I gave you a whole lot of truly useful links dispersed throughout this article. In fact, probably enough that if you sit there and read them all at once, it will make your bum hurt. So, please bookmark this page, get yourself some ice cream to sit in, come back, and take some time checking them out.

Also, please add your comments and tell me how you arrived here. If you are that poor Korean fella represented in this image, I’d love to know how things turned out.

If you are not that Korean guy, be sure you subscribe, because I’ve got a whole lot more where this came from!

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The Caveat … Yes, The Fine Print

Are All SEO Liars?

Social Media Expert / Cattle Farmer

Now Let’s Bash Murnahan

Spam Tactic Number One: Company Names

Spam Tactic Number Two: Being False

Spam Tactic Three: Spammy Blog Comments

Spam Tactic Four: Follow Me!

Spam Tactic Five: Shooting at Innocent Bystanders

Spam Tactics and the Ignorant

Types of Blogs and Blog Strategies

Brain-Numbing (but Hilarious) Blogs

Socially Numbing Blogs

Socially Engaging Blogs

Commonalities of Failed Blogs

A Competitive Strategy

The Worst Blog Failure in Summary

Dumb Google Search One: “icecream for sore bum“

Dumb Google Search Two: “can your testicals reconnect them selves“

Dumb Google Search Three: “best hookers“

Dumb Google Search Four: “buy termites online“

Dumb Google Search Five: “blog trolls“

Dumb Google Search Six: “cheap sutures“

Dumb Google Search Seven: “what happens if i set up a facebook page and dont use it?“

Dumb Google Search Eight: “SEO meta tags“

Dumb Google Search Nine: “what to do when your too good at your job“

Dumb Google Search Ten: “things people find“

Dumb Google Search Eleven: “how much does seo cost“

My Dumb Summary of Dumb Google Searches