Crazy Things People Search For

Hippopotamus Polka?
Hippopotamus Polka?

People search for the craziest things online. Looking at your website statistics to see the searches people use to find your website can be an eye-opener. I discover thousands of bizarre and unexpected searches which lead people to my websites, and some of them quite useful. This can be quite entertaining, and also very beneficial for understanding people and the ways they search.

I constantly hear from people begging to be at the top of search engine results for specific terms. I often find that the things they want to rank for are about as well researched and thought out as balancing a three ton hippopotamus on a popsicle stick above your grandmother’s fine China collection. There are two problems with this: 1.) Somebody is going to get hurt. 2.) It does not work well, mathematically.

Most website owners do not have a clue about how to select the search terms to target, or even what people are already using to find their website. Even fewer know how to target useful search terms, or anything at all about the enormous value of lateral keywords which can often account for far more website traffic than the terms they desire. This is to your advantage, because now you do have a clue. You can thank me with your comments.

Reviewing the actual terms people type into a search engine to find things is truly astonishing. It is also an important way to better understand people and what they want. If you do not use tools like Google Analytics or Clicky statistics, you should.

The topic of how people search the Internet came up in conversation with a client yesterday. He pointed out a competing website which was ranking higher in search engines than his website. Of course, it was for his “hippopotamus-balancing” keyword selection which he thought must be important, because everybody else was targeting it. He got a quick schooling when I pointed out how few people were actually searching for that keyword phrase, and that according to available measurements (Compete.com, Alexa.com, Quantcast.com, Open Site Explorer and others) his website receives over 1,000 times more visitors and incoming links, and is ranked well for thousands of search terms. He kind of shut up after I showed him that, and I had my mind’s-eye vision of doing a victory dance. Then I pointed out his high conversion rate and had to take a step backward to preserve my personal space before he could slap on a big man-hug or kiss me square on the lips for all the money he is making.

Strange Ways People Search the Internet

It is easy to assume what people are searching for. It is also a huge point of failure for the majority of businesses trying to promote their product or service. I find too many people who make assumptions of the keyword phrases people will use to find them. It is important to be aware that each and every one of us use search engines differently. I find whole industries every day which blow me away with their total failure to understand and reach their market.

In an effort to make this point, I offer you these little bits of reality:

Here is a blog article I wrote a while back about cigars. I do not sell cigars, (although perhaps I should). I wrote one article about a cigar company falling short in their marketing, and then I later followed up with an article which showed the top 200 cigar-related search terms which brought people to my website from that single blog post. See “Cigar Prices Rising With Bad SEO and Social Media Marketing“.

More proof of this matter of an industry which did not grasp search engine optimization was found in the Smart Slate interactive whiteboard slate. See “Smart Slate, Smart Airliner, and Other Interactive Slates“. Because of the absurdity of this industry, I have earnestly looked into the option of entering the market just to mop the floor with the blood of fallen competitors.

Then, there is the automotive industry. I want to scream at this whole industry for the way they suck up billions in government bailouts, yet they keep trying to do business the way their grandfather sold cars. I wrote about their infamous ways of marketing and just how badly they are missing the mark. See Topeka Kansas Car Dealer Social Media Marketing Case Study

These examples are just a few of many thousands of markets being terribly overlooked by good marketing efforts including SEO that works. If you do not know what people are looking for, you will have a really hard time delivering what they want. It should seem obvious that when some knucklehead SEO (search engine optimizer) like me can come into an industry and take over thousands of first-page spots for search phrases and pull in the eyes of their potential customers, somebody is really missing the boat.

I suggest examining the search phrases people are already using to find your website, and reading this article on how to “Improve SEO Return on Investment (ROI) With Simple Math“.

If you don’t pay attention to what people are searching for, in reality rather than just myth, you may as well just play with a hippopotamus on a stick. Just don’t blame me if you break grandma’s China.

Published by

Mark Murnahan

I have been in the Internet industry since the mid 1990's and I picked up a lot of great knowledge in that time. I blog about it here at aWebGuy.com. I am available to improve your visibility and your market share using SEO and social media marketing. Contact me for consultation.