I really did not plan to write a new blog post tonight, but this came to me so profoundly that I could not avoid it. I realized a topic that has really bothered me for a while, but I just never came out with it. Well, here it is … love it or hate it.
If you tweet, retweet, blog, Facebook, YouTube, Digg, Stumble, or talk nicely about people because you are seeking favors, just stop!
I normally try to reciprocate kindness when it is due, as we all should. However, I must question where to draw the line. What I mean is if you hit me up asking for favors and you connect it to how you have done me a favor, you are not asking me to be a friend … you are placing expectations on me. It can almost feel like a threat in some strange way. It is like saying “I did something nice for you … shouldn’t you do something nice for me?” There is no kindness in that, there is no favor, and there is less room for the human filter that each of us represents. If you believe in my message and you think it is worth spreading, I certainly invite your favors. If I like your message, and I think it is worth spreading, I will do the same. If I write something that holds no merit and is unworthy of attention, or if it is disagreeable to you, I would never expect your favor.
I suppose the Good Old Boys club is still open for new members, but is it still relevant to today’s information channels? I guess the answer is both yes and no. As I wrote in my blog post “Social Media: How the Big Dogs Get Paid“ people in the social media field often build relationships in which they will work together to spread a message. As long as there is honesty and integrity in the message, I am generally happy to help. However, I have been hit over the head with some of this recently. It seems that I get a lot of requests to scratch somebody’s back. It is all fine and good to be reciprocal, but is it good to take away the human filter that makes us who we are?
If all I was doing was tweeting, retweeting, blogging, Facebooking, YouTubing, Digging, Stumbling, and etcetera because I hoped people would return the favor, would people still care what I had to say? I do not imagine the answer is yes.
Maybe I deserve this for asking my blog readers to help me spread the word about my upcoming book, “Twitter for Business: Twitter for Friends”. I would like to note, that I stated this as follows: “I hope that you will join me in this effort. If so, I humbly thank you, and assure you that I will do my best to not let you down.” The stated effort is to help me spread the word about a book that I sincerely believe can help others to understand and enjoy Twitter better. A part of this effort is to help people see greater value in Twitter and that will not happen if each of us is doing what we do because somebody is expecting something from us in return.
Be true to yourself, be true to others, and keep your human filter functioning. Do not do things only to please others. As I have said before, “I do not try to please everybody, and that pleases some people very much.” This may not be very popular, but I would rather have your respect than your favors.
NOTABLE INSPIRATION: I wish to note a couple of things inspiring me to write this article. Actually, I would consider them the straw that broke the camel’s back. One is a recent blog post by Louis Gray titled “Are Authors or Publications Impacting How You Consume the News?” This article discussed the politics of blogging. Another inspiration was a direct message I received on Twitter from somebody I had just met that read “Tweeted about ur blog to my peeps, will be happy if u say something kind re http://xxxxxxxxx.xxx to urs :-)”.
I guess it just struck me that if we all start tweeting things because we had to be asked, what happens to tweeting things because we really wanted to or cared about it?
